Decker wrote and wrote. “Okay, then what?”

“With Manny as our leader, we pulled in some new members. He gave our little group some focus and much-needed gravitas. Otherwise we were just a bunch of white American kids rejecting what we grew up with. People started coming to hear Manny speak. It was Beth’s idea to start charging money for the good of the group. She also found the storefront and that made the church a real entity. Beth and Manny used to spin the Indian tales and folklore. Beth taught us all how to cook traditional New Mexican dishes and we held all these potlucks that drew even more people. Beth also gave demonstrations in ceramics and charged for lessons. We used one of the bowls for sacramental wine, and another for an incense burner. It was all very exotic.”

“I understand.”

“Manny was the natural leader, but Beth was the creative one. She also came up with the idea of buying an organic farm to give the group some real purpose. We all thought it was a fabulous idea. This was before the hard-core organic-food craze, but a lot of hippies were into health food. We were all psyched on the idea. We finally had some goals in our pathetic lives. It was all going so well!” Lindie sighed and drank more latte. “Then Belize showed up.”

Decker nodded. “Trouble?”

“With a capital T.” She wiped away tears. “If Manny and Beth were exotic, Belize was the king of glamour. Belize not only had Indian blood, but he had actually served time in jail. At that time, you’ve got to remember that there were no such things as criminals, just political prisoners. This was the decade when the Indians took over Alcatraz. Native Americans were hot. Belize was hot. He caught everyone’s eye when Manny brought him in one day. Manny worshipped Belize. Their old man was sentenced to something like forty years in prison for murder. Belize took over the role as Manny’s father figure.”

“Belize took an instant liking to me. Believe it or not, I was cute when I was young. I wish I had had warts on my nose. It would have saved me a lifetime of misery.”

Yet she had stuck it out with the guy. Decker said, “He made a play for you?”

“Yes.”

“And it flattered you.”

“You have to understand, I was always second fiddle…more like third fiddle. First in the alpha female position was Beth, then Alyssa, then me, and then some of the others. All of a sudden this exotic, mysterious guy was coming on to me. Instantly, I gained a new stature.”

“What happened to Christian as your boyfriend?”

“That broke up a long time ago. He was part of the group, but we were no longer an item. It was a free-for-all.” She paused. “Do you know what happened to Christian?”

“He’s a headmaster of a very exclusive private school back east.”

She rolled her eyes. “Talk about a sellout.”

“Maybe he felt he could serve best by educating young minds,” Decker said.

“Maybe he fell into the job because that’s what his father did. Christian used to deride his dad because he received all these expensive birthday and holiday gifts. Now he’s doing the same thing. I use the word ‘hypocrite’, but look at me. Soccer mom complete with the brownies and the SUV.”

“You’re raising your children in a wholesome environment. What’s wrong with that?”

She gave him a tearful smile. “Thanks.”

Decker said, “When you say that it was a free-for-all, I assume you mean all the partying?”

“Of course.”

“What about Beth and Manny. Did they get into the partying?”

Her eyes looked past the physical walls that she gazed upon. “For some reason, I remember the two of them as being kind of spiritual. I know they smoked a lot of weed, that I can remember really well. But I don’t recall them fucking around a lot. Beth and Manny took their roles as leaders pretty seriously. I remember Manny being more into drugs and food than sex.”

Consistent with what Alyssa Bright Mapplethorpe had told Marge. “How long was Belize with the church before things went wrong?”

“He was never really with the church, which is amazing.” She blew out air. “In roughly two weeks’ time, Belize managed to ruin all of our careful planning and hard work.”

“What happened?”

“The man was a goat…insatiable…some things never change.” She blotted tears. “I guess I didn’t satisfy him. Or maybe I just wasn’t around. He was living with Beth and Manny and Manny wasn’t always around. Beth was a beautiful girl.”

Decker thought a moment. “He made a pass at Beth?”

“Truly incredible, huh? Why I didn’t leave him years ago…I’m such an idiot!”

“People get caught in situations,” Decker said.

Lindie let out a small laugh. “You do a great job at playing ‘good cop.’ If I weren’t so distraught, I’d probably fall for you.”

Decker smiled. “I take it Beth told Manny about Belize’s pass?”

“She did. Manny was forgiving of his brother’s roving eye, but Beth wasn’t. She insisted that Belize move out and get his own place. Belize didn’t want to move out. He didn’t want to have to pay rent, he wasn’t paying for food, mostly he was lazy. And he really resented Beth telling him what to do. The two of them began to argue constantly. Manny tried to keep peace but it was useless. It was inevitable that things would come to a head.”

Decker nodded. “Tell me about it. I need to hear your side of the story.”

Her eyes moistened. “I don’t know what happened because I wasn’t there.”

“So tell me what you do know.”

Her tears had returned. “Something went awry…horribly out of control. Belize told me that he…he and Beth were arguing…” She started to pant. “That the argument got very heated…that Beth wouldn’t quit…that things escalated. They got physical. There was pushing and shoving and the next thing he knew…”

She took in a quick breath and forced it out.

“He told me that Beth had hit her head on the wall. He told me that I needed to come over and help him clean up the mess.”

“Mess?”

“That’s what I asked him. What mess?” She blinked repeatedly to rid her eyes of all the tears-like bailing out a sinking ship. Her voice was barely audible. “He begged me to come over. I never heard such desperation. Of course how well did I know him? Something like three weeks?”

“Did you go over to the apartment?”

She nodded slowly. “It was horrible…horrific. I didn’t know people had that much blood inside of them.”

“Describe the scene to me.”

“Blood was…everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, on the ceiling.” She regarded Decker with a trembling lip. “I think I threw up. It was sickening. It was the most…I had nightmares for years. I still have them. That’s why I remember everything so clearly.”

“Poor you,” Decker said, and meant it.

She started sobbing. “Thank you for saying that.”

Decker let her weep openly until her breathing had slowed to an acceptable rate. Then he said, “The scene wasn’t what you expected.”

“I don’t know what I expected. All I knew is that something horrible had happened. What I should have done was run like hell, drive back to my parents’ house, and call the police. Instead, I…” Her voice trailed off.

Decker said, “Who was at the apartment when you got there?”

“By the time I arrived, Manny and Beth were gone. Belize was making some pathetic attempt to scrub down the walls.”

“Did you ask him what happened?”

“No…not at that time. I couldn’t speak. I was in a state of shock and Belize was shaken to the core. He pleaded with me to help him clean up the mess. I took a rag and started wiping the blood from the walls. It was nauseating. The smell of fresh blood and knowing that something real bad happened. My punishment for all the hell I put my parents through.”

“You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s crime, Lindie.”

Again, she started crying. “I should have seen it coming! I should have left. I should have insisted that Belize leave! I should have, I should have, I should have.”