"I will wear this more often," she promised aloud.
"Step two." She moved resolutely to her spare room, which she had recently begun to set up as an office. So far she had only had the time and money to buy a computer desk and chair for her five-year-old computer. Her books were stacked neatly on the floor, waiting for the bookshelves that she had promised them. She flicked on the overhead light and started searching through the piles of old textbooks, accumulated over the past seven years while she haphazardly took college classes, never sure which field she wanted to major in. CC combed through texts that ranged from Anatomy and Physiology lab guides to Basic Business Accounting 101.
"Here you are!" She pulled out the medium-sized text that had been hidden under an enormous Humanities tome. It was entitled,The Matriarchal Era —Myth and Legend. CC fondly remembered her semester of Women's Studies and the witty Professor Teresa Miller who had made that class one of her all-time favorites. She could still hear Ms. Miller's expressive voice reading aloud words that had been authored in an ancient time when women had been revered and even worshipped.
"Where is it?" she mumbled to herself as she scanned the index, her finger lightly going down each row of names, finally stopping near the beginning of the G's.
"Gaea!"
She sat back on her heels, turned to page eighty-six, and read aloud: "Gaea, or Gaia, was an Earth goddess, the Great Mother, known as the oldest of the divinities. She ruled magic, prophecy and motherhood. Although Zeus and other male gods took over her shrines during the emergence of the patriarchal insurgence, the gods swore all their oaths in her name, thus ultimately remaining subjected to her law."
CC nodded her head. This was exactly what she had been looking for. Gaea was the Mother of Magic. Flipping back to the index she turned pages till she found the R's.
"Rituals! Earth Ritual page one-fifty-two." She shuffled through the slick, white pages and made a victorious exclamation when she found it. "Ha! I knew it!" Silently she read the ancient invocation, tugging on her bottom lip in concentration. When she had finished reading, she took the book to her desk and sat quietly for a moment, then with a satisfied smile she wrote a single sentence in blue ink on a piece of plain white Xerox paper and folded it once. Bending the page to mark her place in the text, she headed back to the living room, book and paper in hand.
This time when she stepped onto the balcony she brought with her the book, the piece of paper, a clean champagne flute filled with cold water, a box of long-handled matches and a determination that showed clearly in the square set of her shoulders.
The chimenea was just big enough to hold one block of fragrant pinyon wood. Deftly, she fed its small mouth and lit the dry pinyon. Then she moved to a long, thin planter that was hooked to the wrought iron balcony railing. She caressed the velvety leaves and bent to inhale the tangy fragrance of mint.
"It's a lucky thing that I have such a green thumb." She smiled.
Choosing carefully, she snapped off the tops of several of the larger plants.
The spicy scent of burning pinyon rose from the chimenea like mist. The smoke hovered around the balcony. Clearly visible in the moonlight, it twisted and lifted in the warm breeze like ocean waves. CC's breath caught in excitement as she hurried to position herself in front of the chimenea. She placed the cut mint on the little table next to the glass of water and the piece of paper, then she opened the book to the turned-down page. With a growing sense of excitement she cleared her throat and began to read.
"Great Mother, Gaea, ripe creatress of all that exists, I call upon you to be here with me now."
As she fell into the rhythm of the ancient ritual, the tentative quality left her voice and she felt an unexpected rush of feeling pass over the hair on her bare arms, almost like a spark of static electricity.
"I need your guidance as I strive for spiritual knowledge and growth. Help me also with…" CC paused. Here in the text there were the parenthesized words priestess states her purpose. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, concentrating with all of her heart and soul, then she repeated, "Help me also with creating magic in my life."
Reopening her eyes, she continued to read. "I wish with all my heart to accomplish my desires in a positive way. Reveal to me the direction to take. I await your guidance and aid."
A breath of air touched the pages of the open book and for a moment it quivered and felt alive in her hands.
CC shivered in response. The night was hushed, like a lover waiting for her beloved's next words.
"I give my desires and dreams into your keeping."
With one hand she held open the book. She used her other hand to fan her fingers slowly through the drifting pinyon smoke.
"By air, I create the seed." The smoke swirled in lazy, dancing circles.
With the same hand she reached for the piece of folded paper, on which was written a single sentence in CC's compact cursive hand, "Iwant magic in my life." The wish filled her mind… Oh, please, she prayed.
"By fire, I warm it."
The paper went into the fire and caught instantly ablaze with a fierce, green flame.
Through her mind brushed the thought that it shouldn't have done that—it was just a simple piece of copy paper. Nothing about it could have made a wild, green flame. CC's heartbeat increased erratically, but she forced her hand to be steady as she took the crystal glass filled with cold, clear water and with delicate flicks of her fingers she scattered it in a small circle around the chimenea.
"By water, I nourish it."
CC stepped within the newly made circle. It glistened in the moonlight like lacework made of mercury. She bent back to the table and gathered the sprigs of mint in her hand.
"By Earth, I cause it to grow."
She tossed the delicate plants into the fire where they sizzled and glowed. She watched as they began to dissolve. For an instant CC thought they looked like some kind of exotic seaweed, and she could actually smell the salty tang of the ocean.
"From spirit, I draw the power to make all things possible as I join in the power of the goddess." With a burst of emotion CC dropped the text to the table and completed the words of the ritual as if they were written upon her heart. "Thank you, Gaea, Great Mother Goddess!"
As if in response to her invocation, the breeze shifted and cooled. The pinyon smoke spiraled up, diaphanous and glowing with the light of aquamarines. Transfixed, CC watched it disappear into the moon-drenched sky.
The breeze continued to increase, and CC impulsively raised her hands over her head, fingers outstretched as if she could capture the moon within them. Slowly she began to sway, letting the wind move her in time to the symphony of the night. Her bare feet found their own dance as they followed the circumference of the damp circle. The wind licked her body, drawing the silk of her nightgown against the warmth of her skin.
CC looked down at her body, and felt her eyes widen in surprise. Usually she thought of herself as too petite to be considered sexy, but tonight the moonlight mingled with silk, casting a spell on her body. Through the thin fabric her breasts were clearly visible and her small, perfect nipples felt sensitive and tight as they puckered against its softness. She swung her leg forward in a graceful dance step that had lain dormant within her since grade-school ballet lessons. The nightgown molded itself to her thighs, making her feel like she had just stepped from the canvas of a voluptuous Maxfield Parrish painting. The moonlight caught the ripples and folds of silk, giving life to the pale color and turning it into frothing sea foam. She laughed aloud at her unexpected beauty and twirled on feet that had wings.