"Did she have any scratch or bite marks or other injuries?" Ayla continued.
"I don't know."
Ayla stopped as they were approaching the area of the dwellings and looked at the tall man in the dim light of the crescent moon and the distant fire. "Don't the Zelandonii call the Clan animals? Did his grandmother ever say anything about the ones you call flatheads?"
"They do say she hated flatheads, and would run away screaming at the sight of one," Jondalar said.
"What about Brukeval's mother? Did you know her? What did she look like?"
"I don't recall much, I was pretty young," Jondalar said. "She was short. I remember that she had big, beautiful eyes, dark like Brukeval's, brownish, but not really dark brown, more hazel. People used to say her eyes were her best feature."
"Brownish, like Guban's eyes?" Ayla asked.
"Now that you mention it, I guess they were."
"Are you sure Brukeval's mother didn't have the look of the Clan, like Echozar… and Rydag?"
"I don't think she was considered very pretty, but I don't recall her having browridges, like Yorga. She never did mate. I guess men weren't too interested in her."
"How did she get pregnant?"
She could see Jondalar's smile even in the dark. "You are convinced that it takes a man, aren't you? Everyone just said the Mother Blessed her, but Zolena… Zelandoni once told me that she was one of those rare women who was Blessed immediately after First Rites. People always think that's too young, but it happens."
Ayla was nodding in agreement. "What happened to her?"
"I don't know. Zelandoni said she was never very healthy. I think she died when Brukeval was quite young. He was raised by Marona's mother, she was a cousin of Brukeval's mother, but I don't think she cared much for him. It was more an obligation. Marthona used to watch him sometimes. I remember playing with him when we were little. Some of the older boys picked on him even then. He has always hated it when someone called him a flathead."
"No wonder he was so furious at Charezal. At least now I understand. But that look…" Ayla shuddered again. "He looked just like Broud. As long as I can remember, Broud hated me. I don't know why. He just hated me and nothing I ever did could change it. For a while I tried, but I will tell you, Jondalar. I would never want Brukeval to hate me."
Wolf looked up in greeting when they entered Marthona's dwelling. He had found Ayla's sleeping furs and curled up near them when she told him to "go home." Ayla smiled when she saw his eyes glowing in the light of the one lamp Marthona had left burning. He licked her face and throat in eager welcome when she sat down. Then he welcomed Jondalar.
"He's not used to so many people," Ayla said.
When he went back to Ayla, she held his head between her hands and looked into his shining eyes. "What's the matter, Wolf? A lot of strangers to get used to? I know how you feel."
"They won't be strangers for long, Ayla," Jondalar said. "Everyone already loves you."
"Except Marona and her friends," Ayla said, sitting up and loosening the ties of the soft leather top that was meant to be winter underwear for boys.
He was still disturbed over the way Marona had treated her, and so was she, it seemed. He wished that she hadn't had to be put through such an ordeal, especially her first day here. He wanted her to be happy with his people. She would soon be one of them. But he was proud of the way she had handled it.
"You were wonderful. The way you put Marona in her place. Everyone thought so," he said.
"Why did those women want people to laugh at me? They don't know me, and they didn't even try to get acquainted."
"It's my fault, Ayla," Jondalar said, stopping in the middle of unlacing the ties around the upper portion of his footwear that was wrapped around the calf of one leg. "Marona had every right to expect me to be there for the Matrimonial that summer. I left without explanations. She must have been terribly hurt. How would you feel if you and everyone you knew expected you to mate someone who didn't show up?"
"I would be very unhappy, and angry at you, but I hope I wouldn't try to hurt someone I didn't know," Ayla said, loosening the waist ties of her leggings. "When they said they wanted to fix my hair, it made me think of Deegie, but I combed my own hair when I looked in the reflector and saw what they did. I thought you told me the Zelandonii were people who believed in courtesy and hospitality."
"They do," he said. "Most of them."
"But not everyone. Not your former women friends. Maybe you should tell me who else I should watch out for," Ayla said.
"Ayla, don't let Marona color your opinion about everyone else. Couldn't you tell how much most people liked you? Give them a chance."
"What about the ones who tease orphan boys and turn them into Brouds?"
"Most people are not like that, Ayla," he said, looking at her with a troubled expression.
She exhaled a long sigh. "No, you're right. Your mother is not like that, or your sister, or the rest of your kin. Even Brukeval was very nice to me. It's just that the last time I saw that expression was when Broud told Goov to put a death curse on me. I'm sorry, Jondalar. I'm just tired." Suddenly she reached for him, buried her face in his neck, and let out a sob. "I wanted to make a good impression on your people, and make new friends, but those women didn't want to be friends. They just pretended they did."
"You did make a good impression, Ayla. You couldn't have made a better one. Marona always did have a temper, but I was sure she would find someone else while I was gone. She is very attractive, everyone always said she was the Beauty of the Bunch, the most desirable woman at every Summer Meeting. I guess that's why everyone expected us to mate," he said.
"Because you were the most handsome and she was the most beautiful?" Ayla asked.
"I suppose," he said, feeling himself flush and glad for the faint light. "I don't know why she isn't mated now."
"She said she was, but it didn't last."
"I know. But why didn't she find someone else? It's not like she suddenly forgot how to Pleasure a man, or became less attractive and desirable."
"Maybe she did, Jondalar. If you didn't want her, maybe other men decided to look again. A woman who is willing to hurt someone she doesn't even know may be less attractive than you think," Ayla said as she pulled the leggings off one leg.
Jondalar frowned. "I hope it's not my fault. It's bad enough that I left her in such a predicament. I would hate to think I made it impossible for her to find another mate."
Ayla looked at him quizzically. "Why would you think that?"
"Didn't you say that maybe if I didn't want her, other men…"
"Other men might look again. If they didn't like what they saw, how is that your fault?"
"Well… ah…"
"You can blame yourself for leaving without explaining. I'm sure she was hurt and embarrassed. But she has had five years to find someone else, and you said she is considered very desirable. If she couldn't find someone else, it's not your fault, Jondalar," Ayla said.
Jondalar paused, then nodded. "You're right," he said, and continued removing his clothing. "Let's go to sleep. Things will look better in the morning."
As she crawled into her warm and comfortable sleeping furs, Ayla had another thought. "If Marona is so good at 'Pleasuring,' I wonder why she doesn't have any children?"
Jondalar chuckled. "I hope you are right about Doni's Gift making children. It would be like two Gifts…" He stopped as he was lifting his side of the covers. "But you're right! She doesn't have any children."
"Don't hold the cover up like that! It's cold!" she said in a loud whisper.
He quickly got into the sleeping roll and snuggled his naked body next to hers. "That could be the reason she never mated," he continued, "or at least part of it. When a man decides to mate, he usually wants a woman who can bring children to his hearth. A woman can have children, and stay at her mother's hearth, or even make her own hearth, but the only way a man can have children at his hearth is to mate a woman so she can bring her children to it. If Marona mated and didn't have any children, it could make her less desirable."