"To become one of the zelandonia, one must memorize all the Histories and Elder Legends, and have a good comprehension of their meaning. One must know the counting words and how to use them, the coming of the seasons, the phases of the moon, and some things that are only for the zelandonia to know. But perhaps most important, one must be able to visit the world of the spirits," Zelandoni said. "That is why one must truly be called. Most zelandonia know from the beginning who will be First, and who is most likely to be the next one. The first time one feels the call to venture into the spirit world, it may be revealed. Being First is also a calling, and not a calling every Zelandoni wants."

"What is it like, the spirit world? Is it frightening? Are you afraid when you have to go there?" he asked next.

"Jondalar, no one can describe the spirit world to one who has never been there. And yes, it is frightening, especially the first time. It never entirely ceases to be frightening, but with meditation and preparation, it can be controlled, along with the knowledge that the zelandonia, and particularly the Cave, is there to help. Without the help of the people of one's Cave, it could be difficult to return," she explained.

"But if it's frightening, why do you do it?" Jondalar asked.

"There is no way to refuse it."

Ayla suddenly felt a chilling cold, and shuddered.

"Many try to fight it, and some succeed for a while," the donier continued, "but in the end the Mother will have Her way. It is best to go prepared. The dangers are never kept from one who may think to venture in that direction, that is why the initiation can be so grueling. The test on the other side is even worse. You may feel that you are torn apart, scattered to the whirlwind and the dark unknown. Some go and never return to their body. Some who do return leave part of themselves behind, and they are never quite right afterward. But no one can go and remain unchanged.

"And once you get the call, you must accept it, and the duties and responsibilities along with it. I think that's why so few of the zelandonia are mated. There are no restrictions on mating, or having children, but it is much like being a leader. It can be difficult to find a mate who is willing to live with someone who has so many demands made on them. Isn't that right, Marthona?" Zelandoni asked.

"Yes, Zelandoni," she answered, then she smiled at Dalanar before turning to her son. "Why do you think Dalanar and I severed the knot, Jondalar? We talked about it the day after your mating. It was more than his urge to travel-Willamar has that, too. In many ways, Dalanar and I were too much alike. He's happy now that he's leader of his own Cave-his own people, really-but it took him a while to understand that was what he really wanted. He fought the responsibility for a long time, but I think that was why he was drawn to me in the first place. Joconan had died and I was already leader when we mated. We were very happy at first. But he became restless. It was for the best that we parted. Jerika is the right woman for him. She is strong willed, and he needs a strong woman, but Dalanar is leader." The two she mentioned looked at each other and smiled, then Dalanar reached for Jerika's hand.

"Losaduna is the One Who Serves for the people who live on the other side of the glacier. He has a mate, and his mate has four children. She seems very happy," Ayla interjected. She had been listening to Zelandoni with a fascination that was akin to fear.

"Losaduna is fortunate to have found a woman like her. Just as I was fortunate to find Willamar," Marthona said. "I was very reluctant to mate again, but I'm glad he persisted." She turned to smile at him. "I suppose that's one reason I finally passed on the leadership. I was leader for many years with Willamar beside me, and we never had a problem over it, but I grew tired of the demands. I wanted some time to myself, and I wanted to have some time to share with Willamar. After Folara came along, I wanted to be a mother again. Joharran seemed to have the potential, so I started to prepare him, and when he was old enough, I was glad to pass the responsibility on to him. He is very much like Joconan, I'm sure he's the son of Joconan's spirit." She smiled at her eldest son. "I still keep a hand in. Joharran often consults with me, though I think he does it for my sake, not his."

"That's not true, mother. I value your advice," Joharran said.

"Did you love Dalanar very much, mother?" Jondalar asked. "You know there are songs and stories about your love." He had heard them, but he'd often wondered, if it was really so strong, how could they have parted?

"Yes, I loved him, Jondalar. A small part of me still does. It is not easy to forget someone you have loved that much, and I'm glad we are still friends. I think we are better friends now than when we were mated." She noticed her elder son. "I still love Joconan, too. His memory remains with me and reminds me of when I was a young woman and in love for the first time, even though it took him a while to decide what he wanted," she added rather cryptically.

Jondalar remembered the story he had heard about his mother on his Journey. "You mean between you and Bodoa or both?" he asked.

"Bodoa! I haven't heard that name in a long time," Zelandoni said. "Isn't she the foreign woman who was being trained by the zelandonia? From some eastern people, what were they called? Zar… Sard… something."

"S’Armunai," Jondalar said.

"That's it. I was still young when she left, but it's said she was quite skilled," Zelandoni said.

"She is S'Armuna now. Ayla and I met her on our Journey. The S’Armunai Wolf Women captured me, and Ayla followed their trail and came after me. We were lucky to get away from them alive. If it hadn't been for Wolf, I don't think either one of us would be here. You can imagine how surprised I was to find someone among those people who not only knew how to speak Zelandonii, but knew my mother!"

"What happened?" several people asked.

Jondalar briefly related the story of the cruel woman Attaroa and the S’Armunai Camp she had perverted. "Although S'Armuna helped Attaroa in the beginning, she regretted it and finally decided to help her people and try to correct the problems Attaroa caused." Everyone shook their heads in wonder.

"That's the most outlandish story I've ever heard," Zelandoni said, "but it shows what can happen when a donier becomes warped. I think Bodoa could have gone far if she hadn't abused her power. It's lucky for her that she finally came to her senses. It is said One Who Serves The Mother will pay in the next world if they misuse their power in this one. That's one reason the zelandonia are so careful about whom they accept. There is no turning back. It's one way we are different from leaders of a Cave. A Zelandoni is a Zelandoni for life. Even if we may sometimes want to, we cannot drop the burden."

Everyone was quiet for a while, thinking about the story Jondalar had told. They looked up when Ramara came by.

"I'm supposed to let you know, Joharran, that they brought the rhino in. Jondalar gets credit, it was his spear that killed him."

"I'm glad to hear that, thank you, Ramara."

Ramara would have liked to stay and hear what everyone was talking about, but she did have other things to do, and she wasn't specifically invited, although no one would have told her go.

"You have first choice, Jondalar," Joharran said after she left. "Are you going to take the horn?"

"I don't think so. I'd rather have the fur."

"Tell me what happened out there with that rhino," Joharran asked.

Jondalar told how they happened to see the young men baiting the woolly rhinoceros and stopped to watch. "I didn't realize how young they were until after the accident. I don't think they wanted the rhino as much as they wanted admiration and praise, and to be the envy of their friends."