He felt Amanda’s gaze from the other end of the table and met it. She smiled and mouthed the words “I love you,” and his heart swelled so painfully in his chest that he had to close his eyes and grasp the arms of his chair.

He did not believe in God, but he did believe in love.

Chapter Eleven

AFTER THE DINNER dishes had been cleared away, Amanda announced that she was a bit weary from her travels and would not be staying for coffee and dessert. “I’ll leave you men to your business,” she added.

As she stood, the men scrambled to their feet. “Please join me in prayer,” Amanda said, reaching for the hands of the men on either side of her. Somewhat clumsily, the others around the table followed suit.

She lifted her face and carefully composed it as she always did when she prayed, knowing that people could not resist a peek or two in her direction. She barely closed her lids in order to avoid unsightly creases at the corners of her eyes.

“Dearest Lord,” she began, “please bless the efforts of these good men as they endeavor to make our beloved country the most Christian nation on earth. Like me, they dream of a day when every American is a believer; when no unborn child is murdered; when every child is raised in a Christian home; when lawmakers, educators, businessmen, judges, and all others who influence people’s lives ask for your guidance in all that they do. We praise thy holy name and ask these things in the name of your beloved son, Jesus.”

The men joined her in saying “Amen” before hastily letting go of one another’s hands.

Amanda walked around the table to kiss her brother good night. In her bare feet, she was considerably taller than he was; in heels, she towered over him. He would always be her little brother in age and in stature. Her feelings for him were both sisterly and motherly. She loved and trusted him completely. He had always attended to the things she cared nothing about, which had allowed her to concentrate on her ministry and her son.

“Are you all right?” he asked softly.

“Yes, my darling,” she said, softly stroking his face with her fingertips. “I’m just a little tired.”

“Are you okay with the changes we talked about tonight?” he asked.

“Probably. Let’s have breakfast together in the morning, just the two of us.”

Gus nodded.

Amanda bent down to kiss his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.

“And I you,” he whispered back.

She felt everyone’s eyes on her as she left the room. Admiring eyes. She smiled to herself. The evening had gone well. Of course, there had been some talk of having the president not run for reelection, using a manufactured health problem as an excuse, and having the younger and more articulate vice president take his place on the ticket. The president had overstepped himself at times. No question about that. But while the vice president made a great show of his Christian faith, his eyes did not glow when he spoke of the Lord. And on two occasions she had heard him blaspheme.

She stopped by the kitchen to thank the staff for another lovely dinner party, calling each person by name and wishing God’s blessing on them all. Then she put her arm around a young sari-clad woman known as Randi who had been working at Victory Hill for only three or four months and guided her out into the hall. “Are you with child?” she asked the girl.

With downcast eyes and a shy smile, the girl nodded.

“You’re married to one of the groundskeepers, aren’t you?” Amanda asked.

Again the girl nodded.

“Are you both happy about the baby?”

“Oh, yes, madam. We are very happy. My mother will take care of the child so I can keep working.”

“You shall have six weeks off with pay when the baby is born,” Amanda said.

The girl grabbed Amanda’s hand and kissed it. “You are the kindest lady I have ever known. My mother says you are a saint.”

“No, no,” Amanda said with a smile, stroking the girl’s smooth brown cheek. “Not a saint, dear. Just a woman who loves the Lord. Is this your first child?”

“Yes, madam. Our first.”

“Tell me, Randi, can you keep a secret?”

“Oh, yes!” Randi said, her beautiful dark eyes wide.

Amanda stepped closer and whispered, “I, too, am expecting a child.”

Randi’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She knows about my Sonny, Amanda realized. But of course she would. Everyone knew. Sometimes Amanda wondered if God had planned Sonny’s accident to make her a more sympathetic spiritual leader. Or to test her. She had to believe that Sonny’s accident was part of God’s plan; otherwise she would not have been able to continue. She would have had to curse God and dissolve her ministry. But that would mean she would have had to stop being herself. To stop being the person she was born to be. It had taken her countless hours of prayer and meditation to cleanse her heart of doubt.

Amanda understood that all those people who claimed that she had healed them had in truth been healed by opening their hearts and minds to the power of prayer. Sonny could no longer do that. It had taken her a while to understand why God had left him so, but with knowledge came peace. And with peace came God’s reward-her beautiful Toby and a plan for the future.

“Oh, madam, I am so happy for you,” Randi was saying, once again kissing Amanda’s hand. “I will pray for you and your baby every day.”

“And I will pray for you and yours,” Amanda promised, embracing the slender young woman.

Amanda slowly climbed the stairs to her spacious suite on the second floor, her fingers trailing along the curving banister. Her mind shifting gears from the dinner gathering and the pregnant kitchen worker to her husband. To Toby, who was waiting for her.

She had primed him earlier in the evening, telling him just what she was in the mood for. She chuckled to herself. Toby was such an obliging boy. And he loved their sex games as much as she did.

How wonderfully smooth the wood felt under her fingertips. Like satin. Like the skin on Toby’s back. Toby was her Adonis. When they were in Madrid, she had taken him to the Prado for the express purpose of showing him Titian’s painting of Venus and Adonis. “There you are,” she had said, pointing to the gorgeous youth, with Venus’s arms wrapped around him, drawing him downward toward her nude body.

“I think she’s trying to seduce him,” Toby said.

“I think she probably succeeded,” Amanda said.

Toby leaned close. “Your body is much better than hers,” he had whispered.

Amanda smiled, remembering how they had playacted the scene that night in their hotel room. She was the pagan goddess; he was the undefiled young boy. And when she was satiated, she had curled her body next to Toby’s and silently thanked God for bringing her this beautiful young husband.

Once, Toby had asked her what God thought of such games. She had assured him that God had given them vivid imaginations to make their physical life fulfilling and keep them from sin.

With her free hand Amanda reached inside her dress to caress her breasts. Climbing each step became an erotic act. A step higher, a step closer. She could feel her body opening. Feel the moistness gathering between her legs.

The bedroom was aglow in candlelight. Toby was waiting for her, lying facedown on the bed, his wrists handcuffed to the headboard, the leather whip waiting on the bedside table. As soon as she entered the room, he lifted his head and began to whimper. “Please don’t whip me,” he begged.

Amanda unzipped her red dress and stepped out of it, revealing her nude body underneath. She stepped into a pair of stiletto-heeled boots and tied a black velvet cape around her neck. “But you’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you, Toby?”

“Oh, yes, I’ve been a very bad boy. A very, very bad boy,” Toby said.