“No one knows, Captain. She might have been. Only Heather and Strong were on deck then.”
Crozier lets out a breath. It would be ironic, he thinks, if their mystery guest, who first appeared on the day this nightmare began six months ago, has finally been carried off by the creature so linked with her appearance.
“Search the whole ship, Lieutenant Irving,” he says. “Every nook, cranny, cupboard, and cable locker. We’ll use Occam’s razor and assume that if she isn’t on board that she’s… been taken.”
“Very well, sir. Shall I choose three or four men to help me in the search?”
Crozier shakes his head. “Just you, John. I want everyone else back out on the ice searching for Strong and Evans in the hours before lamps-out, and if you don’t find Silence, assign yourself to a party and join them.”
“Aye, aye, sir.”
Reminded of his casualty, Crozier goes forward through the men’s mess to the sick bay. Usually at supper time, even in these dark days, there is the morale-lifting sound of conversation and laughter from the men at their mess tables, but tonight there is silence broken only by the scrape of spoons on metal and the occasional belch. The men are exhausted, slumped on their sea chests they use as chairs, and only tired, slack faces look up at their captain as he squeezes past.
Crozier knocks on the wooden post to the right of the sick bay curtain and passes through.
Surgeon Peddie looks up from some sewing he is doing on Able Seaman George Cann’s left forearm at a table in the centre of the space. “Good evening, Captain,” says the surgeon. Cann knuckles his forehead with his good hand.
“What happened, Cann?”
The young sailor grunts. “Fucking shotgun barrel slides up me sleeve and touches me fucking bare arm when I was climbing a fucking ice ridge, Captain, pardon the language. I pull the shotgun out and six inches o’ fucking flesh comes with it.”
Crozier nods and looks around. The sick bay is small, but six cots are crammed into it now. One is empty. Three men, down with what Peddie and McDonald tell him is probably scurvy, are sleeping. A fourth man, Davey Leys, is staring at the ceiling – he has been conscious but strangely unresponsive for almost a week now. The fifth cot holds Marine Private William Heather.
Crozier lifts a second lamp from its hook on the starboard partition and holds the light over Heather. The man’s eyes glisten but he does not blink as Crozier brings the lamp closer. His pupils seem permanently dilated. His skull has been wrapped with a bandage but blood and grey matter are already seeping through.
“Is he alive?” Crozier asks softly.
Peddie comes over, wiping his bloody hands with a rag. “He is, strangely enough.”
“But we could see his brains on deck. I can see them now.”
Peddie nods tiredly. “That happens. In other circumstances, he might even recover. He would be an idiot, of course, but I could screw in a metal covering where his skull is missing and his family, if he has any, could take care of him. Keep him as a sort of pet. But here…” Peddie shrugs. “Pneumonia or scurvy or starvation will carry him away.”
“How soon?” asks Crozier. Seaman Cann has gone out through the curtain.
“Only God knows,” says Peddie. “Is there to be more searching for Evans and Strong, Captain?”
“Yes.” Crozier sets the lantern back in place on the partition near the entrance. Shadows flow back over Marine Private Heather.
“You are aware, I am sure,” says the exhausted surgeon, “that there is no chance for young Evans or Strong but every probability that each search will bring more wounds, more frostbite, a greater chance of amputation – many men have already lost one or more toes – and the inevitability that someone will shoot someone else in their panic.”
Crozier looks steadily at the surgeon. If one of his officers or men had spoken to Crozier like this, he would have the man flogged. The captain makes allowance for the man’s civilian status and exhausted state. Dr. McDonald has been in his hammock with the influenza for three days and nights and Peddie has been very busy. “Please let me worry about the risks of continued searching, Mr. Peddie. You worry about stitching up the men stupid enough to set bare metal against their skin when it’s sixty below zero. Besides, if that thing out there carried you off into the night, wouldn’t you want us to search for you?”
Peddie laughs hollowly. “If this particular specimen of Ursus maritimus carries me off, Captain, I can only hope that I have my scalpel with me. So I can put it through my own eye.”
“Then keep your scalpel close, Mr. Peddie,” says Crozier and goes out through the curtain into the odd silence of the crewmen’s mess area.
Jopson is waiting in the galley glow with a kerchief of hot biscuits.
Crozier enjoys his walk in spite of the creeping cold that has made his face, fingers, legs, and feet feel like they are on fire. He knows that this is preferable to them being numb. And he enjoys the walk in spite of the fact that between the slow moanings and sudden shrieks of the ice moving under and around him in the dark and the constant moan of the wind, he is certain that he is being stalked.
Twenty minutes into his two-hour walk – more a climb, scuttle, and ass-sliding descent, up, over, and down pressure ridges for much of the way tonight than a walk – the clouds part and a three-quarters moon appears and illuminates the phantasmagoric landscape. The moon is bright enough to have an ice-crystalled lunar halo around it, actually two concentric halos, he notices, the diameter of the larger one sufficient to cover a third of the eastern night sky. There are no stars. Crozier dims his lamp to save oil and walks on, using the boat pike he’s brought along to test every fold of black ahead of him to make sure it’s a shadow and not a crack or crevasse. He has reached the area on the east side of the iceberg now where the moon is blocked, the berg throwing a black and twisted shadow for a quarter of a mile of ice. Jopson and Little insisted he take a shotgun, but he told them he did not want to carry the weight on the walk. More to the point, he doesn’t really believe a shotgun will be of any use against the foe they had in mind.
In a particular moment of rare calm, everything strangely quiet except for his laboured breathing, Crozier suddenly recalls a resonant instance from when he was a young boy returning home late one winter evening from an afternoon in the wintry hills with his friends. At first he rushed headlong alone across the frost-rimed heather, but then he paused half a mile or so from his house. He remembers standing there watching the lighted windows in the village as the last of the winter twilight faded from the sky and the surrounding hills became vague, black, featureless shapes, unfamiliar to a boy so young, until even his own house, visible at the edge of town, lost all definition and three-dimensionality in the dying light. Crozier remembers the snow beginning to fall and himself standing there alone in the darkness beyond the stone sheep pens, knowing that he would be cuffed for his tardiness, knowing that arriving later would only make the cuffing worse, but having no will nor want to walk toward the light of home yet. He enjoyed the soft sound of night wind and the knowledge that he was the only boy – perhaps the only human being – out there in the dark on the windy, frozen-grass meadows on this night that smelled of coming snow, alienated from the lighted windows and the warm hearths, very aware that he was of the village but not part of it at that moment. It was a thrilling, almost erotic feeling – an illicit discovery of self separated from everyone and everything else in the cold and dark – and he feels it again now, as he has more than a few times during his years of arctic service at opposite poles of the earth.