"I guess." But that didn't feel right somehow, and she went on slowly. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear he… pulled me in. That he wanted me to know where he was and what he was doing. That he deliberately let me know that much before he pushed me out."

"Why isn't that possible?"

"Well, because… there was no awareness of me. None at all, not until that very last second when he suddenly looked at me and then pushed me out."

"You said he knew you."

"Yes. He… he said my name in his mind."

"Cassie."

She heard that whisper once again in her mind, and a shiver rippled through her. She had never before been caught like that in another mind; a dark inner eye had turned toward her with such swift accuracy that she had felt pinned in place.

Trapped.

That was what she could never tell Ben. That she knew with utter certainty she would never have been able to escape from the insane strength of that other mind if he had not contemptuously thrown her free.

FIFTEEN

"Cassie?"

She summoned a smile. "As I said, he knows who I am now. But we expected that sooner or later."

"Do you think he'll block you from now on?"

"He couldn't do it continually. Eventually even the strongest mind gets tired or distracted and the guard slips. I'll be able to get back in."

"And if you can? Will he know you're there?"

Cassie hesitated. "I don't know. I've always been able to hide my presence before. I… must have been distracted somehow this time, and that's how he caught me."

"What if he catches you again? Can he hurt you?"

"With his mind?" She tried to make sure her voice didn't sound evasive. "All he did this time was push me out. It's the natural thing to do."

"We're dealing with an unnatural mind, Cassie."

"Yes. I know."

Ben stared at her, then pushed his plate away with a smothered oath. In a very steady voice he said, "Even if he can't hurt you, how many more times do you think you can do this without killing yourself?"

"As many as I have to." Cassie got up and carried her plate to the sink.

He followed with his own plate. "I don't think so, Cassie. Do you realize you scared the life out of me yesterday? I thought I was going to lose you forever."

She fixed a fresh cup of coffee to give herself a moment to think. It didn't help. "I'm sorry." Her own voice sounded more puzzled than apologetic to her; she wondered how it sounded to him. Obviously not apologetic.

"Dammit, Cassie! Stop acting like I shouldn't care if you put yourself in danger."

She poured milk into her coffee, stirring it with careful concentration. "It's my risk to take. I told you that." "And I'm not concerned in the matter?" She took a moment to respond. "What do you want me to say, Ben?"

He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Look at me." She did, but reluctantly.

He gave her a little shake. "Stop shutting me out." "I'm not."

"You've been miles away from me since Matt and I came back yesterday afternoon. I want to know why. Is it because I told you how I felt? Are you having second thoughts about getting involved with me?" He'll destroy you.

Cassie wondered if she could even try to save herself. "Ben, you must see it – it's no good." "Why?" he demanded bluntly. "My God, aren't all the reasons obvious?" "Not to me. So tell me." She drew a breath. "For one thing, I'd make a lousy lover. Ben, I've been inside too many male minds filled with nothing but violence and hate. I can't just push all that aside, pretend I never saw it, that it never terrified me."

"You've never been in my mind," he said quietly.

"I know that." She steadied her voice with an effort. "And I know those other minds, those… urges and actions are abnormal. Most men never feel such violence. But accepting that in my own mind doesn't help. I still… I can't help being afraid. Don't you see? There's no trust left in me."

"I don't believe that."

"You have to. It's true."

"Cassie, I would never deliberately hurt you."

"I'm sure you mean that." She avoided his gaze.

"But you don't believe it's the truth."

"I told you. I can't trust anymore. I don't want to get involved, not with anyone. Ben, please, just – let it go, okay?"

He ignored the plea. "Is it because you can't read me? Because you can't be sure there's no violence in me?"

"I don't know. Maybe." She had to wonder if it would make things easier if she could read Ben. Or harder.

His fingers tightened on her shoulders. "Cassie – "

The telephone rang, making her jump, but she was glad to have a reason to move away from him, if only as far as the kitchen wall phone. She picked up the receiver and said hello, hoping she didn't sound as shaky as she thought she did.

"Cassie, it's Matt. Is Ben still there?"

"Yes. Hang on a second." She held out the receiver, and when he took it immediately moved away and busied herself loading the dishwasher.

"Matt? Have you found her?" Ben kept his gaze on Cassie and shook his head when she looked up questioningly. Then he frowned as the sheriff continued to speak. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Matt. We'll just feed the gossip if Cassie comes to your office openly. I know. Yes, I realize that, but – " He listened for a moment longer, then said, "All right. We're on our way."

He hung up the phone and directed all his attention at Cassie. "You heard. He wants to talk to us in his office. I don't know why he didn't want to tell me over the phone, but he was right when he pointed out that your involvement in the investigation is an open secret by now."

Cassie closed the dishwasher. "I'll get my jacket." She kept her tone as indifferent as she could manage. "Would you let Max out for a minute, please? I'd like to leave him in the house."

Ben did as she asked without comment, and by the time she was ready to leave, so was he. He joined her at the front door, picking up a small leather bag she hadn't noticed sitting by the stairs. Cassie didn't ask, but he explained anyway.

"Since my days in the circuit court, I've always carried a packed overnight bag with me in the Jeep. I never knew when I might have to spend a night away from home."

Cassie set the security system without comment, and they went out to his Jeep. The silence between them was not a comfortable one, and it was broken only once between her house and their arrival at the Sheriff's Department.

"What can I do to teach you to trust me?" Ben asked.

Cassie didn't tell him that if she had not already trusted him, she would never have been able to accept him as a lifeline.

He'll destroy you.

It was probably already too late, but she had to try. No matter how much it hurt.

"Nothing," she answered.

Abby had listened to the radio all morning, but the local station reported hour by hour that the missing Ryan's Bluff teenager had not yet been found. The Sheriff's Department was asking that anyone with any knowledge or information please come forward, and in the meantime urged everyone to remain calm. Deputies were out in force.

Abby was restless. She hadn't talked to Matt since the previous evening and had slept badly, yet she had been up with the chickens despite feeling tired and out of sorts. She had busied herself all morning by performing her usual weekend chores, but all the housecleaning and washing was done long before noon, and nothing else served to occupy her attention.

The weather was dreary, cold, and overcast, threatening some kind of precipitation all morning, and the last of the snow clung to spots here and there as if inviting more to join it. The radio said the roads were clear but followed that report by stating that the Sheriff's Department was asking everyone to stay off the roads unless they had to be out.