But she couldn't do that this time. She had crossed into territory that was forbidden to her. How could Lani understand that she loved the man who was her father's deadly enemy? How could she understand it herself? She didn't even have the comfort of knowing that Jared loved her in return. He desired her, but passion was not love. He had been consumed by hatred of her father for too many years, and it was madness to think he would ever allow himself to love her. No, his bitterness was too strong, the gulf too deep.

Dear God, the tears were falling again. She must stop this stupid weeping. There was nothing to be done but what they had set out to do. She must save Papa and then return home.

She must make a life for herself far away from Jared, a world away…

Fourteen

"I don't like using Josette this way," Lani said, seated in her usual chair in the library "It could be dangerous for her."

"Do we have a choice?" Cassie asked. She didn't like it either, but there seemed no alternative. "If she turns around and immediately goes back to England, it should lessen the risk."

Lani nodded slowly. "That's true. And the journey is only a scant twenty miles or so. My people go much vaster distances in their voyager canoes." She paused. "Have you a plan for finding Charles? Perhaps he hasn't even arrived in Paris yet. I told you of the message Jared received from his man, Guillaume, saying that he had not been seen there." She shrugged. "I suppose it's possible that Jared received another message to the contrary. He was suspiciously careless of that first message. I think he meant for me to find it."

But her father probably had not arrived, or Jared would have departed immediately for the Continent, Cassie thought. "I hope he hasn't arrived there. When he does, he'll go directly to Jacques-Louis David for information about Raoul Cambre."

"And you think this is a dangerous move?"

She shivered. "I met Cambre only once, but I didn't like him."

"A child has no great judgment."

"But excellent instincts. I don't want Papa near him."

"And we go to this David and ask him to put us in touch with Charles when he contacts him?"

Cassie nodded. "We can find lodgings at a small pension near David's residence until he arrives."

"We are foreigners. There will be questions."

Cassie chuckled. "I may feel as if I'm a foreigner, but I was born in France, remember. I believe I'll have no trouble being accepted. We will say you're…" She thought about it; Lani's golden skin was both exotic and distinctive. "Egyptian. The widow of one of Napoleon's officers. He met you when he was campaigning and brought you back to Paris."

Lani said dryly, "You've been spending entirely too much time with Josette. You're getting overly proficient at falsehoods."

"Of course, it would be better if David could give us Cambre's whereabouts in case Papa finds out in some other fashion." She shrugged. "We will have to see when we arrive what is best."

Lani looked down into the fire. "And when do we leave on this journey?"

"Tonight, after everyone has gone to bed. Josette says we can slip out to the stable and through the back pasture door. It's only a mile walk to the path leading down to the shore where her boat is docked. She'll distract the guard at the stable and then join us there."

"You're leaving Kapu and Morgana here with Jared. You realize he's going to be very angry. What if he refuses to return them to you when all this is over?"

"He won't do that."

"You seem very sure."

"He keeps his promises." She wearily shook her head. "And even if he didn't, I couldn't do anything else. It's time we left Morland."

Lani was silent a moment and then nodded. "I think you're right. We've been here too long. One tends to become… confused."

There was an undercurrent in Lani's tone that made Cassie's eyes widen with surprise. Had she been subjected to the same temptation Cassie had known? It seemed impossible. Lani was always steady, completely loyal, never deterring from her purpose. "Lani?"

Lani looked at her and smiled. "But we will no longer be confused once we find Charles. All will be clear and the same as it was before. Won't it, Kanoa?"

It would never be the same for Cassie, but perhaps it would grow less painful. She nodded jerkily and rose to her feet. "We should each take only one valise. Pack no more than three gowns and your riding habit. Josette will take them to the stable and hide them under the hay in an empty stall. Oh, and wear a warm shawl under your cloak. Josette says it becomes very chill on the water at this time of year."

Lani made a face. "Josette appears to be completely in command of this journey."

Cassie nodded. "And she's enjoying every minute of it." She moved toward the door. "I'll see you at supper. Try to rest this afternoon. Josette's sailboat is very small, and there aren't any cabins. It won't be a comfortable journey."

Lani opened her book again. "Then you should take your own advice."

"I have to exercise Kapu. After I'm gone, he'll get little- I forgot, Josette can ride him. She did very well the other day."

"But you want to ride him anyway." Lani nodded. "Go on, good-byes are more important than rest."

Cassie closed the door and moved quickly down the hall.

This ride would not really be a good-bye to Kapu, but it would be farewell to Morland. She might have to return briefly to retrieve Kapu and Morgana, but she would never live within these walls again, never ride with Jared along the cliff path, never watch the humorous byplay between Jared and Bradford at the supper-

"Cassie!"

Jared. Her pace quickened as she heard his steps behind her.

His hand fell on her shoulder, and he spun her around to face him. "Don't run away from me, dammit."

"I'm not running away."

"The devil you aren't. You've been avoiding me all day."

"I don't have time to talk to you right now. I have to go ride Kapu."

"I'll go with you."

"No!" She moistened her lips. "Not today."

He drew an exasperated breath. "I'm trying to be patient, but this can't go on. Will I see you at supper?"

"Yes, yes, of course." One last meal together. Another good-bye.

"You promise?"

She nodded. "But I have to go now."

"Cassie…" His hands opened and closed on her shoulders. "I feel… Did I hurt you in some way?"

She kept her eyes fastened on his cravat. "No."

"I never meant to hurt you. I'd never… Dammit, look at me."

If she looked at him, he might realize the truth. She was so filled with love and sorrow, she felt as if they must be written on her face. She swallowed. "We'll talk about this another time."

"Tonight?"

She shook her head.

"Tomorrow? We'll settle this tomorrow?"

She would be gone tomorrow. She would be in France on her way to Paris, far away from him. "Yes, it will all be settled tomorrow."

He released her, and she fled across the courtyard toward the stable.

Josette landed the sailboat a scant two miles from a small French fishing village just before dawn the next day. "Am I not superb?" she asked triumphantly. "I told you I could do it." She grabbed one of the valises, jumped out of the boat, and waded the few feet to shore. "Now all you have to do is go to the village and ask the way to Paris."

"Is that all we have to do?" Lani chuckled as she grabbed the other valise and jumped out of the boat. "I think there are a few minor obstacles to overcome."

"Well, maybe," Josette conceded. "But I got you here."

"Yes, you did." Cassie followed Lani to shore. "And we thank you very much."

"It was nothing." Josette waved an airy hand. "For a marvelous sailor and navigator."