“Well, you’re here now. Carolyn has never left, and they have friends here who love them, so I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of them than you thought.” I was on a nice roll, and it felt good, so I continued, “And I wouldn’t want them to spend all that money for a hotel, so they’re welcome to use Ethel’s room at the gatehouse. I’d enjoy-”

“John. Stop it.”

“Sorry. I was just trying to-”

“You’re not the forgiving type, are you?”

“What was your first clue?”

She thought about that, then said, “If you won’t forgive, and you won’t forget, at least take some comfort in the fact that you’ve won.”

“Won? What did I win?”

“You won it all.”

“I thought I lost it all.”

“You did, but that’s how you won.”

“Sounds Zen.”

“You know what I’m talking about, so let’s drop it.”

“All right.”

She got back to the prior subject and announced, “My parents are staying with me.”

I was afraid of that, too. I really didn’t want them on the property; my offer to put them up wasn’t sincere.

Susan continued, “So are Edward and Carolyn. It will be nice to have them in their old rooms.”

I nodded.

She continued, “I’d like to invite you over for dinner or cocktails… whatever you’d like.”

I didn’t respond.

She said, “It would be less awkward, with you here on the property, if you didn’t feel you needed to avoid my parents… or me. The children would very much like that.”

“I know they would, Susan.”

“So?”

I thought about this family reunion, compliments of Ethel. I was looking forward to seeing my children, but I could do without my ex-in-laws. The other thing was… well, my public humiliation of being cuckolded by my beautiful wife; by divorcing her, and not speaking to her for ten years, I’d felt avenged, and my pride was intact. I was ready, in theory, as I said, to be in the same room with her, smiling and chatting. But the reality of being in the house of my unfaithful ex-wife, sitting around the table with our children and her parents… Susan, darling, could you pass the peas? William, can I pour you more wine? Well, I didn’t think I was ready for that.

“John?”

“Well… I don’t think your parents would want to sit with me-”

“I don’t care what they want. They can dine out if they don’t like it. I’m asking you if you’d like to have dinner at home with me, Edward, and Carolyn.”

“Yes. I would.”

“Good. They’ll be very happy when I tell them.”

“Can I bring a date?”

She looked at me, saw I was joking, and suppressed a smile, then gave me a playful punch on the arm and said, “Not funny.”

We continued to walk around her ten acres, and now and then she’d point out something the Ganzes had done, or something new that she’d done in the few months she’d been back, and she also remarked on how little the property had changed. She said, “The trees are bigger, and every one of them has survived, except for that copper beech that was over there. I’d replace it, but I had an estimate of about thirty thousand dollars.”

I wanted to suggest that her parents pay for it as a housewarming gift, and maybe I’d mention it to them if they came to dinner. Charlotte would choke to death on her martini olive, and William would drop dead of a heart attack. Total win-win.

Actually, this might be an opportunity for me to make amends with William by apologizing for calling him, quote, “an unprincipled ass-hole, an utterly cynical bastard, a monumental prick, and a conniving fuck.” I believe that was the last time we spoke. So maybe it was time for me to apologize for my profanity, rephrase the sentence in proper English, and ask him if he’d worked on those problems.

Susan reminded me, “This is where the children used to pitch their tents in the summer. Can you believe we let them sleep outdoors by themselves?”

“They usually had friends. And it’s very safe inside the walls.” Or it used to be.

Susan said, “My place in Hilton Head is a gated community.”

“Is it?” Of course it is.

“It’s hard to believe that Carolyn and Edward live in small apartments with no doorman on crowded city streets, and they love it.”

“They’re young and adventurous.”

“And not afraid. I’m glad we didn’t overprotect them, or spoil them.”

“Well, it’s a fine line between protecting and overprotecting, providing and spoiling.” Not to mention underprotecting and underparenting, which was my upbringing, but I’d rather have that than what Susan had.

Bottom line on this conversation was Susan reminding me that we’d done something right; we had been good parents, and that remained a source of pride, as well as a bond. Of course, we blew it at the end, but by the time we separated, Edward and Carolyn were on their way into the real world.

Susan said to me, “If I could turn back the clock, I would.”

That did sound like she regretted what she’d done, or, like most of us, me included, she regretted getting caught. The affair itself must’ve been emotionally stimulating and sexually pleasurable, not to mention deliciously taboo. I mean, she wasn’t screwing the tennis pro at the club; this was a Mafia don. So I didn’t know if she regretted the affair, or the consequences. That would depend on how far back she wanted to set that clock.

To be honest here, during the time that Susan and I had been estranged and sleeping in separate bedrooms, I’d become briefly involved with a TV news reporter named Jenny Alvarez, who was locally well-known at the time. I’d met her because she was covering the murder indictment against Frank Bellarosa, and I was, of course, the don’s attorney. I never regretted my involvement with Jenny Alvarez, probably because there were no unpleasant consequences, and of course, I felt justified because my wife was screwing my most famous client. Well, justified or not, I was playing with fire at a time when Susan and I didn’t need any more fire. I always felt I should have told Susan about this brief fling – as I called it, to distinguish it from her affair – but I wasn’t sure if my motives for confession would be the correct motives of truth, and honesty, and unburdening my soul. Or would I have been bragging, trying to hurt her, or trying to make her jealous? So, since I couldn’t decide, I’d kept it to myself.

But now maybe the time had come to tell Susan that she hadn’t been the only one committing adultery. I said to her, “Susan…”

“Yes?”

“Well… do you remember that TV reporter Jenny Alvarez, who was on, I believe, one of the network stations?”

“No… I don’t think so.”

I described Ms. Alvarez to her, but she couldn’t recall the lady, and inquired, “Why do you ask?”

“Well… I was just wondering if she was still on the air.”

“I don’t watch much television news.”

“Right. So, Nasim tells me that you and his wife… Soheila, right-?”

“Yes…”

“-have become friendly.”

“Well, I suppose… but…” She seemed confused and asked me, “Why were you asking about that TV reporter?”

I came to my senses and said, “I used to enjoy her reporting, and I can’t seem to find her on any of the stations.”

Susan shrugged and said, “There are dozens of new cable stations on the air since you’ve left.”

“Right. So, Edward seems happy working for a major film studio.”

Susan was happy to get back to the subject of her children and replied, “He likes what he does – the development office, whatever that is. And I’m surprised that he also likes Los Angeles.”

“Me, too. Where did we fail?”

She smiled and said, “But I think he misses the East Coast.”

“Maybe.”

“John, do you think he’ll stay there?”

“He might. You have to accept that.”

She nodded, then said, “Well… it’s only a six-hour flight.”

“Right.”

She reminisced, “I grew up with family close by… I thought that was normal.”