As the designated driver, I stuck to my light beer while Susan morphed from Lady Stanhope to Suzie, and banged down a few vodka and tonics. I could see that she was very popular, and it occurred to me that if I hadn’t come along when I did, she wouldn’t have been a widow for long.

After about forty-five minutes, the hostess had a table for us, and we decided to leave Edward and Carolyn at the bar with their friends, and we sat alone, which was nice. There was not a single healthy thing on the menu, so I had a great American pub-food dinner. Love those Buffalo wings.

It did seem like old times, except that at ten o’clock Susan called home before Sophie went to bed, and Sophie confirmed that as of that time, there were no Mafia hit men waiting in the kitchen for us. No onions.

At a little before midnight, we convinced the kids that they needed to leave with us, and a few minutes before we got to Stanhope Hall, Susan called the gatehouse, so when we got there the gates were open, and the guard waved us through. I stopped, however, got out, and explained to him, out of earshot of the children, about my problem with my Mafia neighbor, and he already knew a little about that. I said to him, “I’m going to call you from the house in about ten minutes. If I don’t, you call the police, and if you’d like, come to the guest cottage.” I added, “Gun drawn.”

I didn’t know how he was going to react to that, but he said, “Wait here and I’ll wake my relief guy, and I’ll come with you.”

I didn’t want to make a big thing of this in front of Edward and Carolyn, so I said, “That’s all right. Just wait for my call.”

He then informed me, “I’m an off-duty Nassau cop.” He introduced himself as Officer Dave Corroon and even flashed his creds in case I thought he was just a rent-a-cop with megalomania, like so many of these private security guys. He said, “My advice is to wait for me if you think there’s a potential problem at your house.”

I explained about not wanting to trouble my children. Then I gave him what we called in the Army the sign and countersign. Onions, no onions.

He thought that was clever.

I got back in the Lexus, but no one asked me what I was talking about to the guard, and I proceeded to the guest cottage.

Susan tried Sophie’s cell phone, then the house phone, but no one answered, and I assumed she was asleep.

As we all got out of the car, I said, “I need some fresh air. Let’s sit on the patio a minute and talk about tomorrow.”

Susan thought that was a good idea, and if Edward and Carolyn didn’t, they didn’t say anything.

Susan led them to the path on the side of the house, and I said, “I’ll be right there.”

I unlocked the front door and opened the foyer closet where I’d left the carbine, and it was still there. So I took it out and did a fast check of the first floor, then the second floor. In the master bedroom, I dialed the gatehouse, and Officer Corroon answered and asked, “Everything okay? You got onions?”

“No onions here.”

“Okay. Call if you think you see or hear onions.”

“Thanks.” I hung up, went downstairs, and put the carbine in the broom closet, then went out to the patio.

Susan and Carolyn were sitting at the table talking, and Edward was snoozing in a lounge chair.

We let him sleep, and we went through the itinerary for tomorrow. Depart here no later than 9:30 for the funeral Mass at St. Mark’s at 10:00 A.M. Then to the Stanhope cemetery for burial, and if Father Hunnings didn’t go on too long at graveside – pray for rain – we’d be out of the cemetery before noon, then back to St. Mark’s for a post-burial gathering in the basement fellowship room. Not my idea of a fun Saturday, but every day is not a beach day.

Carolyn inquired, “Should we synchronize our watches now?”

Susan thought that was funny. But if I’d said it…

Susan informed us, “Elizabeth is having friends and family to her house Saturday night, seven P.M., and I think we should go.”

I’d never actually been inside Elizabeth’s house, and I thought I should go see the guest room and check out the storage space in the basement. Just in case. I replied, “Fine. Okay – dismissed.”

Not even a smile.

Carolyn woke her brother, and they excused themselves and retired for the evening.

I needed a little nightcap after all that near-beer, so we went into the office and I poured myself a brandy.

I said to Susan, “Father Hunnings asked to speak to me privately in his branch office at the funeral home.”

“About what?”

I told her, and she thought about the conversation. She said, “I certainly don’t need prenuptial counseling, and I am very annoyed that my parents have spoken to him about us.”

I replied, “Their only concern is your happiness.”

“Then they should have no concerns. I’m happy. They are not.” She added, “They need the counseling.”

“They’d be so much happier if they gave us all their money.”

She smiled, then thought of something else and said, “I can’t believe Father Hunnings mentioned that we are living together.”

“Well, I think your parents brought that up, so he has to address it.”

“Why don’t they all mind their own business?”

“You know the answer to that.”

She didn’t respond and asked, “What do you think is in that letter?”

“Maybe something more important than I’d thought.”

“And Elizabeth has the letter?”

“She did have it.”

“You should ask her for it tomorrow night.”

“I will.”

She asked me what was going on at the gatehouse, and I told her, and said, “This guy, Officer Corroon, seems sharp.” I advised, “Get to know who the off-duty police are. The rest of them could have a second job with Bell Security for all I know.”

She nodded.

I asked, “Do you think the kids are getting wise to something?”

She replied, “They were very quiet in the car when you were talking to Officer Corroon… but I don’t know what they’re thinking.”

I said, “If they ask, we stick to the Nasim story.”

She thought about that, then said, “Sometimes I think we should tell them. For their own safety.”

“No. They’re already on the lookout for Iranian hit men. We don’t need to tell them that we really meant Italian hit men.” I added, “Carolyn will be gone Sunday night and Edward Monday morning, and I don’t want them worrying about us after they’ve left.”

She nodded, then switched to a happier subject and said, “That was fun at McGlade’s.”

“It was. Where debutantes and mountain men meet. Which reminds me, who was that mountain man who was hitting on you?”

“Are you jealous?”

“Have I ever been?”

“No. Well… when we were first dating.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“I can refresh your memory if you’d like.”

“You make this stuff up.” I said, “Okay, we have a long day ahead of us, so we should get to bed, and not have sex.”

“Thank God.”

“I’ll check the doors and windows and be right up.”

She went upstairs, and I sat at the computer. It was almost 7:00 A.M. in London, so Samantha should get my e-mail before she had her first cup of coffee – assuming she checked her e-mail regularly, which she didn’t. I really didn’t want her to get on a plane to New York. I mean, I had enough problems here, and though Susan is not the jealous type, I was quite sure she didn’t want to have drinks at the Mark with Samantha.

So I began typing a very nice Dear Samantha letter, which I’d already composed in my mind, explaining the situation with honesty and regret. I didn’t mention the Mafia problem because she’d worry – though maybe me getting whacked would please her. You never know with women who have been scorned. Just look at Susan with Frank – whoops. Delete that.

I reread the letter, tweaked it, then pushed the send button, feeling as though I’d just pushed the detonate button to blow up my last bridge to London.