Lowering her head to look at her abdomen, Laurie tried to understand that there was the beginning of a child inside of her. Although she had always considered the idea to be natural, now that it was actually happening, it seemed so phenomenal as to defy belief. She immediately knew when the conception had occurred. It had to have been that morning when she and Jack had found themselves both strangely wide awake in the middle of the night. At first, they had been careful not to bother the other, but when they had discovered that they were both not sleeping, they started talking. The talking led to a caress, and the caress progressed to an embrace. The resulting lovemaking had been natural and initially fulfilling, but later, when Laurie found herself still awake, the intensity of the lovemaking had ironically made her realize what she was missing: a family with children. Now the ultimate irony was that the lovemaking had actually created a child she'd longed for, although without the marriage.

Laurie got to her feet and stood sideways in front of the mirror. She tried to see if there was any bulge to her abdomen, but then openly laughed at herself. She knew that at five weeks, an embryo was no bigger than about eight millimeters, or a third of an inch, hardly enough to cause any visible external changes.

All at once, Laurie stopped laughing and stared at herself in the mirror. Being pregnant under the current circumstances was hardly a laughing matter. It was a mistake with serious consequences for her life, and for others as well. Thinking in that vein made her wonder how it had happened. She had always been careful to avoid lovemaking when she thought she might be fertile, so how did she mess up? She thought back to the night they had made love, and as soon as she did so, she realized what had happened. At two o'clock in the morning, it was technically the next day. The previous day had been her tenth day, and it probably would have been okay, but certainly not the eleventh day.

"Oh, my word!" Laurie said out loud in a despairing voice as the reality of the situation began to sink in. She truly felt overwhelmed, and even a little depressed. The need to talk with Jack had suddenly changed from a desire to a necessity, yet at the moment, she wondered how she was going to find the emotional strength. There were too many problems swirling in her mind, not least of which was the knowledge that she was positive for the BRCA1 marker. How was that going to play into her being pregnant? She had no idea, but the thought invariably brought up the word "abortion." Despite being a medical doctor, Laurie had always associated the word more with its political connotations concerning women's rights than with a procedure that she would consider herself. Suddenly, all that changed.

"I've got to get a grip!" Laurie said to her image in the mirror with more determination than she felt. She got out her hair dryer and began drying her hair. Her one refuge was her professional persona. Despite her problems, she had to get to work.

As she'd expected, Laurie's queasiness all but disappeared after she'd had some breakfast. Bran Flakes without milk turned out to be the most palatable. While she ate, the right lower abdominal discomfort she'd felt on occasion over the last few days returned. With her fingers, she pushed in over the area. It accentuated the feeling, especially when she moved her fingers closer to the midline, but it still wasn't anything she would have called pain. Vaguely, she wondered if it was a normal sensation of early pregnancy. Since she had never been pregnant before, she didn't know if implantation caused such a feeling. Intellectually, she knew that the process involved a kind of invasion of the uterine wall, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. There was also the chance the discomfort could be from the right ovary. One way or another, it wasn't her biggest concern.

When Laurie arrived at the OCME, it was only about seven-fifteen, but she was still pessimistic about catching Jack in the ID office. Lately, he seemed to be coming in earlier and earlier. Her assumption was corroborated when she saw Vinnie's preferred location vacant and his newspaper, open to the sports page, abandoned on the desk, which undoubtedly meant he was already down helping Jack. Chet was hard at work, sitting at the main desk and going through the folders of the bodies that had come in during the night. It was to be his last day for the job that week. Laurie was the medical examiner on call for the upcoming weekend, which also meant that the following week's duty of deciding which cases needed to be posted and distributing them would fall to her.

"Is Jack already downstairs?" Laurie asked as she took her first sip of coffee. Believing the caffeine would help check her melancholy mood, she hoped her stomach would tolerate the strong brew.

Chet's head popped up. "You know Jack. When I got here, he'd already been cherry-picking through all the folders and was eager to get a jump on the day."

"What kind of case is he doing?" The warmth of the coffee gave her a contradictory shiver.

"It's interesting you should ask. He took a case just like the two you got yesterday."

Laurie took the cup away from her lips. Her mouth opened in an expression of surprise. "You mean a case from the Manhattan General?"

"Yup! Fairly young guy who'd had a routine hernia repair and then promptly checked out for good."

"Why did Jack take it? He knows I'm interested in those cases."

"He did it as a favor."

"Oh, come on, Chet. What do you mean as a favor?"

"Apparently, Calvin had left word with Janice that if another such case came in, she was to give him a call. Obviously, she did, because he came in just about the same time as Jack and checked it out. When I arrived, he told me specifically he didn't want you doing it. In fact, he said that you were to have an official paper day today, so you're free and clear. Anyway, Jack then offered to do the case because he said you'd probably want the results sooner rather than later."

"Why did Calvin say that he didn't want me doing it?" Laurie questioned. It seemed like a deliberately low blow, since the diversion of her series was the only thing she had going for herself in the face of all her problems.

"He didn't say. And you know Calvin; it wasn't as if he was about to offer. He just made it crystal clear you weren't to do it. He also said that when I saw you, I was supposed to tell you he wanted to see you in his office ASAP. So the message has been delivered. Good luck!"

"That's weird. Did he sound angry?"

"No worse than normal." Chet shrugged. "I'm sorry. That's all I can tell you."

Laurie nodded as if she understood, but she didn't. Leaving her coat on one of the ID office's club chairs, she retraced her route back out through the ID room and into the main reception area. She was nervous. With everything else in her life, in her words, "going to hell in a handbasket," she wouldn't have been surprised if her career was somehow in jeopardy as well, although she had no idea what she could have done to irritate Calvin, other than perhaps giving her impromptu talk at yesterday's conference. But after the fact, when she'd spoken with him, everything seemed to be all right.

Laurie had Marlene buzz her directly into the administration area, which was tomblike in its stillness. None of the secretaries had yet arrived. Calvin, however, was in his office, scanning documents from his in basket and hastily signing them. He continued the last couple even after Laurie had announced herself. He motioned for her to sit while he gathered up the stack of signed papers and slipped them into his out basket. Then he sat back and eyed Laurie over the top of his rimless glasses, with his chin practically on his chest. "If you don't already know, the name of the potential new case is Clark Mulhausen, and I suppose you want to know why I insisted you don't do it."