If Swemmel's men, and Kyot's, hadn't burned about every third village in the Duchy of Grelz back around the time Garivald was born, Unkerlant would have been better off. Being efficient was hard without a roof over your head in a southern winter. It was even harder with your fields trampled and your livestock stolen or killed. Even now, a genera tion later, the effects lingered.

The short inspector glared at Garivald, who had stayed on his knees and so was easy to look down on. "Don't think you can cheat us by lying about how much you bring in, either," he snapped. "We have ways of knowing. We have ways of making cheaters sorry, too."

Garivald had to answer that. "I am only one farmer in this village, sir," he said, genuine alarm in his voice now. He knew Villages had vanished off the face of the earth after trying to hold out on Cottbus: that was the excuse King Swemmel's men used once the dirty work was done, any how. He went on, "I have no way of knowing how much the whole village will bring in. The only one who could even guess would be Waddo, the firstman. " He'd never liked Waddo, and didn't care what the-, inspectors did to him.

They both laughed, nastily. "Oh, he knows what we can do," the tall one said. "Never fret yourself about that. But we want to make sure everyone else knows, too. That's efficient, that is." He folded his arms across his chest. "Everybody needs to know King Swemmel's will, not just that ugly lump of a Waddo."

"Aye, sir," Garivald said, more warmly than he'd expected. If Swemmel's inspectors could see that Waddo was an ugly lump, maybe they weren't asses after all. No. That, surely, gave them too much credit.

Maybe they weren't such dreadful asses after all.

"A lot of men in this village," the short one remarked. "A lot of young men in this village." He jotted a note, then asked Garivald, "When did the impressers last visit here?"

"Sir, I don't really recall, I'm afraid." The peasant plucked a weed from the ground with altogether unnecessary violence.

"Inefficient." The inspectors spoke together. Garivald didn't know whether they meant him or the impressers or both at once. He hoped the village wouldn't have to try to bring in the harvest with half the young men dragged into the army to go off and fight Gyongyos. He hoped even more that he wouldn't be one of those young men.

"Does this powersforsaken place boast a crystal?" the tall inspector asked. "I didn't see one in your firstman's shack."

Waddo owned the finest house in the village. Garivald wished his own were half so large. Waddo had even added on half a second story to give some of his children rooms of their own. Everyone thought that a citified luxury - everyone but the inspector, evidently. Garivald answered,

"Sir, we don't. We're a long way from the closest ley line, and-'

'We know that," the short inspector broke in. "I'm so saddle-sore, I can hardly walk." He rubbed at his left buttock.

And we like it just fine, Garivald thought. That was one reason impressers and inspectors didn't come round very often. Nobody hereabouts missed them. Nobody hereabouts missed anyone from Cottbus. In the olden days, the Duchy of Grelz - the Kingdom of Grelz, it had been then, till the Union of Thrones - had been the most important part of Unkerlant. Now the men from the hot, dusty north lorded it over their southern cousins. As far as Garivald was concerned, they could go away and never come back.

Bandits, that's what they were, nothing but bandits."

He wondered if they were efficient bandits. If they happened to suffer unfortunate accidents, would anyone track them down and take the kind of revenge for which Swemmel had become all too famous? His shoulders worked in a large shrug. He didn't think the chance worth taking, worse luck. Odds were no one else in the village would, either.

The inspectors went off to inflict themselves on someone else. As Garivald kept on pulling weeds, he imagined their stems were the inspec tors' necks. That sent him back to the village at the close of day in a better mood than he would have thought possible while the inspectors raked him over the coals.

He never thought to wonder what the place looked like to the men from the capital. To him, it was simply home: three or four lines of wooden houses with thatched roofs, and a blacksmith's shop and a couple of taverns among them. Chickens roamed the dirt streets, pecking at whatever they could find. A sow in a muddy wallow between two houses looked out at Garivald and grunted. Dogs and children roamed the streets, too, sometimes chasing chickens, sometimes one another. He swatted at a fly that landed on the back of his neck. A moment later, another one bit him in the arm.

In winter, the flies died. In winter, though, the livestock would stay in the house with him and his family. That kept the beasts warm, and helped keep him and his wife and his boy and baby girl warm, too. Winters in Grelz were not for the fainthearted.

Annore was chopping up parsnips and rhubarb and throwing them into a stewpot full of barley and groats when he came into the house. "I'll put in the blood sausages in a little while," she said. When she riffled, he still saw some of the pert good looks that had drawn him to her half a dozen years before. Most of the time, though, she just looked tired.

Garivald understood that; he was bone-weary himself "Any beer left in the bucket?" he asked.

"Plenty." Annore tapped it with her sandal. "Dip me up a mug, too, will you?" When her husband did, she murmured a word of thanks. Then she said, "People say the inspectors were buzzing around you out in the fields." The words came out with the usual mixture of hate and fear - and, as usual, fear predominated.

But Garivald shrugged his broad shoulders. "It wasn't too bad. They were being efficient" - he laced the catchword with scorn - 11 so they didn't spend too much of their precious time on me." He raised his wooden mug of beer to his lips and took a long pull. After wiping his upper lip on his sleeve, he went on, "The one bad part was when they asked if the impressers had been through this part of the Duchy any time latchy. "

"What did you tell them?" Annore asked. Yes, fear predominated.

He shrugged again. "Told 'em I didn't know. They can't prove 11 in lying, so that looked like the efficient thing to do." Now he laughed at King Swemmel's favorite term - but softly, lest anyone but his wife hear.

Slowly, Annore nodded. "I don't see any better choices," she said. "But not all inspectors are fools, even if they are bastards. They're liable to figure out that I don't know means haven't seen 'em for years. If they do…"

If they did, sergeants would teach a lot of young men from the village the arcane mysteries of marching and countermarching. Garivald knew he was liable - no, likely - to be one of them. He'd been too young the last time the impressers came through. He wouldn't be too young now.

They'd give him a stick and tell him to blaze away for the glory of King Swemmel, which mattered to him not in the least. The Gyongyosians had sticks, too, and were in the habit of blazing back. He didn't want to g go to the edge of the world to fight them. He didn't want to go any where. All he wanted was to stay with his family and bring in the harvest.

His daughter Leuba woke up and started to cry. Annore scooped her out of the cradle, then slid an arm out of her tunic, bared a breast, and put the baby on it. "You'll have to chop the sausage," she said above

Leuba's avid gulping noises.

"All night," Garivald replied, and he did. He almost chopped off his finger a couple of times, too, because he paid as much attention to his wife's breast as to what he was supposed to be doing. Annore noticed, and stuck out her tongue at him. They both laughed. Leuba tried to laugh, too, but didn't want to stop nursing while she did it. She coughed and choked and sprayed milk out her nose.