"You can pass an opinion on one fact: it's an Australian car. I thought of you the day I read about it. I thought, Father has lived to see his dream come true. An Australian Car. Did he ever tell you, Mother," he turned to Phoebe who was now looking very bored and was taking exception to Charles's great pleasure in saying "Mother" and "Father" at the one table, "did he ever tell you how he walked away from the T Model on the saltflats at Geelong? When we were kids we used to ask him to tell us that story. He must have told it to us a hundred times. He…"

"There are no saltflats in Geelong," Phoebe said. "He was lying."

"The saltflats are at Balliang East," I said.

Phoebe shuddered. "A dreadful place."

"Very close to where I met you."

"That's what I meant."

Goldstein was the only one to laugh. It was also Goldstein who, on the subject of Australia's Own Car, made the point about the extraordinary deal General Motors had done with the Australian government. She talked about this in detail while Phoebe sighed loudly and shifted in her chair.

The roast beef arrived and for a moment it seemed as if the conversation would pass on to something less difficult, but Charles had no intention of letting it go.

"Yes," he said, polishing his fork with his table napkin. "There is money here to do things. There's no doubt about it."

"Yes, dear," said Leah. "It's our money, but the Yanks do get all the profit. They won't risk their money because we have – or they think we have – a socialist government."

"Who can blame them?" said my feathered wife. Her voice was not quite firm and bobbled uncertainly on its perch.

"Excuse me," Comrade Goldstein put her fork back on her plate and sat up straight in her chair. "Excuse me, but I do."

Phoebe ignored Leah. (Perhaps this made me angry, but I didn't think so at the time.) "I can't bear the way they speak," she said. "I just can't stand their vowels."

"I like it better than the Poms," said Charles. "It's not stuck up. Now, you've met Nathan…"

"No, no," his mother tapped the table with her dessert spoon. "I don't mean the Americans. I mean the Labour Party. They've all got pegs on their noses."

"It's the Australian way of speaking."

"It's pig ignorant", said Phoebe, "and if I were an American I wouldn't trust them either. They talk like pickpockets."

"Say again," said Charles. He placed his hearing aid on the table, propping it up against the blue packet of de Witt's Antacid Powder which he brought with him wherever he ate.

"They're thieves, pickpockets." Phoebe looked at her son's contrivance with disgust. "Put it in your pocket, Charles. Show some manners."

"He can't hear you if he does," Leah said, but Charles put his machine away, looking a little hurt. Phoebe smiled at Leah. She was too polite to call her a pinko.

Emma, in the meantime, had Hissao on her lap and was feeding him although he was now five and quite old enough to have his own chair and feed himself. Emma did not contribute to the argument although she smiled at me from time to time and occasionally I heard the barely audible sound of her murmurs. She popped mashed-up messes of food into her son's pretty mouth while his dark watchful eyes roamed over us. Once, in the middle of an argument, he smiled at me and for a moment I heard nothing that was said and smiled at him like a man in love. So late in my foolish life I was to acquire a real family after all.

"So, Father, what do you say about the Holden, eh?"

I shrugged. I am not a shrugger by nature but I wished to avoid saying anything hurtful.

"Come on. Come on." He put his ape arm behind Leah's chair and beamed at me.

When I had done my years of study in Rankin Downs this was not the context in which I had planned to unleash my learning. I had imagined dispassionate discourse, conversation as restrained as teacups quietly kissing their saucers. But still I answered my son in a considered way, avoiding anything that could be considered personal.

"I would say", I told him, "that we Australians are a timid people who have no faith in ourselves."

It was then that the trouble started. It was not with my comment, which was quiet and civilized. It was my son's reply. He roared with laughter as unmusical as the chair he scraped beneath him. I felt my temper begin to rise. I tried to bottle it. I had my heart intent on entering his household and I would not – not this time, please God – go hurling snakes around the room, ranting with a young man's passion, destroying the very thing I wanted.

"You don't believe me?" I asked him quietly. I fancy you could describe my smile as wry but my eyes, I felt them, were small and showed themselves as an intense violet blue.

Charles laughed again.

I did not lose my temper. I spoke sweetly, so softly that he had to produce his machine again and listen with a strained expression. "Then why…"I said.

"Speak up."

"Then why", I waited for him to get the thing adjusted, "are we so easy to fool? Why do we let them call it 'Australia's Own Car'?"

He did not obey the rules. He did not know them, the bloody ignoramus.

"Because it is." He thumped his fist on the table and made the plates jump. Emma's eyes slanted and she hunched her shoulders. Leah stared at the tablecloth. Phoebe examined the little watch she had pinned to her breast and the two bigger boys, the apprentice dullards, put on their deadman's eyes and looked to the front.

"No," I said. I was still quite calm. "It's a lie. And the shame is, it's not our lie; it's their lie."

"Your father", Leah said, "uses the word lie' in a slightly eccentric way," and she touched my leg again, beneath the table, recalling the tender conversation we had conducted over our Bundaberg rum.

"There are several meanings to the word 'lie'," said Phoebe, speaking as a professional in matters to do with language, "but only one to the word 'liar'."

"A lie", I said, "is something that isn't true at the moment you say it."

I saw Goldstein's smile – it spread to her eyes and suffused her skin as pervasive as a blush.

"E. g.?" my son demanded.

I had lived with my Vegemite jar so long that I did not find its contents disgusting. Often it was frightening but mostly it reminded me of the trivial nature of my imagination – for I had no doubt that it was this that controlled its contents. I could do no better than some warts, a fish, and – for a week or two – a tiny fox-terrier (it was only half an inch long) that finally changed into something like a cauliflower. Even mad Moran had made angels.

"E. g.?" my son demanded.

When I placed the bottle on the table, I was pointing out our lack of courage and imagination. It was all so clear to me that I felt no need to explain it further.

"E. g.," I said.

But all they saw was a finger floating in a bottle.

Emma grabbed for it, but it was Charles who won possession. He looked at me with disgust but I was too far along the line of my argument to go back and explain it to the slower ones.

"What is this thing?"

"Almost anything you're brave enough to make it into."

"I don't understand you," Charles roared.

"I don't understand you either, mug." (I was blowing it. Tough shit. Rough tit. Too bad.) "How can you turn your shop into a wing-ding for a Yankee card trick? Australia's Own Car! It's bullshit, boy. You've been done like a dinner."

"I haven't been done, Father. I have done. I've done more than you ever did. You lied and cheated and passed dud cheques. You never fed us. We never had clothes. We were cold and hungry when you looked after us. Now look at you. Look at you all. Jeez, you get up my nose. I'm sorry, Leah, but it's true. I feed you all. I put food in your mouth, and yours, and yours, and yours, and yours. It's my worry, my responsibility, and no one here lifts a finger to help me." His voice went up an octave. "You come along here with your socialism or your poetry or your sarcasm or this, thisthing, but none of you actually do anything. In real life, someone has to talk to the bank manager. It's me. I'm the one. I'm a business man. All those years, Father, you talked as if you were a business man, but I can see now you weren't a business man's bootlace. You moaned and groaned about the Pommies and the Yanks but you never did anything. And now you've got the nerve to criticize my car. Well it's Our Car. There's not another one like it in all the world. Is there one in Russia? Ha. In America? No, it's ours and we made it."