"I like that."

"Very suggestive, don't you think?"

"Have you heard the saying 'Sheepish butlers' surgical bottle battles'?"

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"It's a tongue-twister. I made it up."

"Your point being?"

"No point, really. I just felt like saying it."

"Can the stupid comments, all right? I don't have much patience with inanity. You'll drive me nuts if you keep it up."

"Sorry," Hoshino said. "But why'd you call me, anyway? You must have had a reason to call so early."

"That's right. It completely slipped my mind," Colonel Sanders said. "Here's the thing-I want you to leave that inn right this minute. No time to eat breakfast. Just wake up Mr. Nakata, grab the stone, and get out. Get a cab, but don't have the inn call one for you. Go out to the main street and flag one down. Then give the driver this address. Do you have something to write with?"

"Yep, just a sec," Hoshino replied, grabbing a pen and his notebook from his bag. "Broom and dustpan, check."

"Enough with the stupid jokes already!" Colonel Sanders yelled into the phone. "I'm serious here. Not a minute to lose."

"Okay, okay. Go ahead."

Colonel Sanders recited the address and Hoshino wrote it down, repeating it to make sure he got it right: "Apartment 308, Takamatsu Park Heights 16-15, 3-chome. Is that it?"

"That's fine," Colonel Sanders replied. "You'll find the key under a black umbrella stand at the front door. Unlock the door and go inside. You can stay there as long as you like. There's a stock of food and things, so you won't have to go out for the time being."

"That's your place?"

"It is indeed. I don't own it, though. It's rented. So make yourself at home. I got the place for you two."

"Colonel?"

"Yeah?"

"You told me you're not a god, or a Buddha, or a human being, correct?"

"Correct."

"So I'm assuming you're not of this world."

"You got it."

"Then how could you rent an apartment? You're not human, so you don't have all the papers and stuff you need, right? A family register, local registration, proof of income, official stamp and seal and all that. If you don't have those, nobody's gonna rent you a place. Did you cheat or something? Like change a leaf by magic into an official stamp? Enough underhanded stuff's gone on already, I don't want to get mixed up in any more."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Colonel Sanders said, clicking his tongue. "You are one major dimwit. Is your brain made out of jello, you spineless twit? A leaf? What do you think I am, one of those magical raccoons? I'm a concept, get it? Con-cept! Concepts and raccoons aren't exactly the same, now are they? What a dumb thing to say… Do you really think I went over to the real estate agent's, filled out all the forms, bargained with them to lower the rent? Ridiculous! I have a secretary take care of temporal things. My secretary gets all the necessary documents and things together. What do you expect?"

"Ah-so you have a secretary!"

"Damn right I do! Who do you think I am, anyway? You're way out of line. I'm a busy man, so why shouldn't I have a secretary?"

"All right, all right-don't blow a gasket. I was just pulling your leg. Anyway, why do we have to leave so fast? Can't we at least have a bite before we go? I'm starved, and Mr. Nakata's out like a light. I couldn't wake him up no matter how hard I try."

"Listen up. This is no joke. The police are scouring the town for you. First thing this morning, they've been making the rounds of hotels and inns, questioning everyone. They've already got a description of both of you. So once they start nosing around it's only a matter of time. The two of you stand out, let's face it. There's not a moment to lose."

"The cops?" Hoshino shouted. "Gimme a break! We haven't done anything wrong. Sure, I ripped off a few motorcycles back in high school. Just joyriding-it wasn't like I was gonna sell them or anything. I always took them back. Never done anything illegal since. Taking that stone from the shrine is about the worst thing I've done. And you told me to."

"This has nothing to do with the stone," Colonel Sanders said flatly. "You're a real dunce sometimes. Forget the stone. The police don't know anything about it, and wouldn't give a damn if they did. They're not going to be up at the crack of dawn beating down doors over some stone. We're talking about something much more serious."

"What do you mean?"

"The police are after Mr. Nakata because of it."

"I don't get it. He's the last person you'd ever imagine committing a crime. What kind of crime? And how could he be involved?"

"No time to go into that now. You have to get him out of there. Everything depends on you. Are we clear here?"

"I don't get it," Hoshino repeated, shaking his head. "It just doesn't make any sense. So they're gonna tag me as an accomplice?"

"No, but I'm sure they'll question you. Time's a-wasting. Don't bother your head over it now, just do as I say."

"Listen, you gotta understand one thing about me. I hate cops. They're worse than the yakuza-worse than the SDF. They're awful, the things they do. They strut around and love nothing better than tormenting the weak. I had plenty of run-ins with cops when I was in high school, even after I started driving trucks, so the last thing I need is to get into a fight with them. There's no way you can win, plus you can't shake 'em off afterward. You know what I mean? God, how'd I get mixed up in all this? You see, what I-"

The phone went dead.

"Jeez," Hoshino said. He sighed deeply and tossed the cell phone into his bag, then tried to wake Nakata up.

"Hey, Mr. Nakata. Gramps. Fire! Flood! Earthquake! Revolution! Godzilla's on the loose! Get up, already!"

It was some time before Nakata woke up. "I finished the beveling," he said. "The rest I used as kindling. No, cats don't take baths. I'm the one who took the bath." Obviously in his own little world.

Hoshino shook the old man's shoulder, pinched his nose, tugged at his ears, and finally roused him to the land of the living.

"Is that you, Mr. Hoshino?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me," Hoshino replied. "Sorry to wake you up."

"No problem. Nakata was going to get up soon anyway. Don't worry about it. I finished with the kindling."

"Good. But something's come up-something not so good-and we have to get out of here right now."

"Is it about Johnnie Walker?"

"That I don't know. I've got my sources, and they told me we better make ourselves scarce. The cops are after us."

"Is that right?"

"That's what he said. But what happened with you and this Johnnie Walker guy?"

"Didn't Nakata already tell you?"

"No, you didn't."

"I feel like I did, though."

"No, you never told me the most important part."

"Well, what happened was-Nakata killed him."

"You gotta be kidding!"

"No, I'm not."

"Jeez Louise," Hoshino muttered.

Hoshino threw his belongings into his bag and wrapped the stone back up in its cloth. It was the same weight as it had been originally. Not light, but at least he could carry it. Nakata put his things in his canvas bag. Hoshino went to the front desk and told them something had come up suddenly and they had to check out. Since he'd paid in advance, it didn't take long. Nakata was still a bit unsteady on his feet but could walk. "How long did I sleep?" he asked.

"Let me see," Hoshino said, doing the math. "About forty hours, give or take."

"I feel like I slept well."

"No wonder. If you don't feel refreshed after that kind of record-breaking sleep, then sleep's kind of pointless, isn't it. Hey, you hungry?"

"Yes, I am. Very hungry."

"Can you hold off a while? First we have to get out of here, as soon as we can. Then we'll eat."