Are you all right? Are you all right, Edgar Allan? Scarpetta asked through the shut door, but she didn't come in.
He has replayed what she said, replayed it so many times he is no longer certain he has her voice right, that he has remembered it right, exactly right.
Are you all right, Edgar Allan?
Yes, ma'am. I'm just washing up.
When Pogue finally emerged from the bathroom, Lucy's gurney go cart was abandoned in the middle of the floor and she was gone and Scarpetta was gone. Dave was gone. Only Pogue was there, and he was going to die because of a single drop of formaldehyde that he could feel exploding and burning into his lungs like red-hot sparks, and nobody was there but him.
So you see, I know all about it, he later explained to Mrs. Arnette when he was lining up six bottles of pink embalming fluid on the cart next to her stainless-steel table. Sometimes you have to suffer in order to feel the suffering of others, he told Mrs. Arnette as he cut off sections of string from a roll on the cart. I know you remember how much time I spent with you when we talked about your paperwork and your intentions and what would happen to you if you went to MCV or UVA. You said you love Charlottesville, and I promised you I'd make sure you went to UVA since you love Charlottesville. I listened to you for hours in your house, didn't I? I came by whenever you called, at first because of the paperwork, then because you needed someone to listen and were afraid your family would overrule you.
They can't, I told you. This paperwork is a legal document. It's your last wishes, Mrs. Arnette. If you want your body to go to science and later to be cremated by me, your family can't do a thing about it.
Pogue fingers six brass-and-lead.38 caliber cartridges deep in his pocket as he sits in the sun inside the white Buick, and he remembers feeling the most powerful he'd ever felt in his life when he was with Mrs. Arnette. He was God when he was with her. He was the law when he was with her.
I'm a miserable old woman and nothing works anymore, Edgar Allan, she said the last time they were together. My doctor lives on the other side of the fence, and he can't be bothered'to check on me anymore, Edgar Allan. Don't ever get this old.
I won't, Pogue promised.
They're strange people on the other side of the fence, she told him with a wicked laugh, a laugh that implied something. His wife is such a trashy thing, that one. Have you met her?
No, ma'am. Don't believe I have.
Don't. She shook her head and her eyes implied something. Don't ever meet her.
I won't, Mrs. Arnette. That's terrible your doctor can't be bothered. He shouldn't get away with that.
People like him get what they deserve, she said from her pillow on the bed in the back room of the house. Take my word for it, Edgar Allan, people get what they dish out. I've known him for many a year and he can't be bothered. Don't count on him signing me out.
What do you mean? Pogue asked her, and she was so small and feeble in her bed, and covered up with many layers of sheets and quilts because she said she couldn't get warm anymore.
Well, I reckon when you go on, somebody has to sign you out, don't they?
Yes, they do. Your attending doctor signs your death certificate. One thing Pogue knew was how death worked.
He'll be too busy. You mark my words. Then what? God throws me back? She laughed harshly, a laugh that wasn't funny. He would, you know. Me and God don't get along.
I can certainly understand that, Pogue assured her. But don't you worry, he added, knowing fully that he was God at that moment. God wasn't God. Pogue was. If that doctor on the other side of your fence won't sign you out, Mrs. Arnette, you can trust I'll take care of it.
How?
There are ways.
You are the dearest boy I've ever known, she said from her pillow. Oh how lucky your mother was.
She didn't think so.
Then she was a wicked woman.
I'll sign you out myself, Pogue promised her. I see those certificates every day and half of them are signed by doctors who don't care.
Nobody cares, Edgar Allan.
I'll forge a signature if I have to. Don't you waste a minute worrying.
You are such a love. What would you like of mine? It's in my will, you know, that they can't sell this house. I fixed them but good. You can live in my house, just don't let them know, and you can just take my car, course I haven't driven it in so long, the battery's probably dead. The time is coming, you and I know it. What do you want? Just tell me. I wish I had a son like you.
Your magazines, he told her. Those Hollywood magazines.
Oh Lordy. Those things on my coffee table? I ever tell you about the times I spent at the Beverly Hills Hotel and all those movie stars I'd see in the Polo Lounge and out around the bungalows?
Tell me again. I love Hollywood more than anything.
That scoundrel husband of mine at least took me to Beverly Hills, I'll give him that, and we had us some real times out there. I love the movies, Edgar Allan. I hope you watch movies. There's nothing like a good movie.
Yes, ma'am. There's nothing like it. Someday I'm going to Hollywood.
Well, you should. If I weren't so old and worthless, I'd take you to Hollywood. Oh what fun.
You're not old and worthless, Mrs. Arnette. Would you like to meet my mother? I'll bring her over sometime.
We'll have us a little gin and tonic and some of those bite-size sausage quiches I make.
She's in a box, he told her.
Now that's a strange thing to say.
She passed on but I have her in a box.
Oh! Her ashes, you mean.
Yes, ma'am. I wouldn't part with them.
What a sweet thing. Nobody would give a damn about my ashes, I'll icll you. You know what I want done with my ashes, Edgar Allan?
No, ma'am.
Sprinkle them right over there on the other side of that goddamn fence. She laughed her harsh laugh. Let Dr. Paulsson put that in his pipe and smoke it! He couldn't be bothered and I'll fertilize his lawn.
Oh no, ma'am. I couldn't disrespect you like that.
You do it, I'll make it worth your while. Go in the living room and fetch my purse.
She wrote him a check for five hundred dollars, money in advance for carrying out her wishes. After he cashed the check, he bought her a rose and wiped his hands on his handkerchief and was sweet with her, talking and wiping his hands.
Why do you wipe your hands like that, Edgar Allan? she asked from the bed. We need to take the plastic off that lovely rose and put it in a vase. Now why are you putting it in a drawer? she asked.
So you can keep it forever, he replied. Now I need you to turn over for a minute.
What?
Just do it, he said. You'll see.
He helped her turn over and she couldn't have weighed anything, and he sat on her back and tucked his white handkerchief in her mouth so she would be quiet.
You talk too much, he said to her. Now is not the time to talk, he told her.
You should never have talked so much, he kept saying as he held her hands on the bed, and he can still feel her jerk her head and weakly struggle beneath his weight as he took her breath away. When she went still, he let go of her hands and gently took his white handkerchief out of her mouth, and he sat on top of her when she was all quiet like that, making sure she stayed quiet and didn't breathe while he talked to her the same way he did the girl, the doctor's daughter, the pretty little girl whose father did things in that house. Things Pogue should never have seen.
He jumps and gasps as something sharp raps on his window. His eyes fly open and he coughs dryly, strangling. A big grinning black man is on the other side of the car window, rapping the glass with his ring and holding up a big box of M amp;M's.
"Five dollars," the man says loudly through the glass. "It's for my church."