"Maybe he don't like blacks, " Possum talked to himself as he envisioned Ben Cartwright with his leather vest and snow white hair. "Blacks was slaves. So who I'm fooling thinking anybody on a horse is gonna ride in to rescue me? Least the Cartwrights don't fly no 'Federate flag, though. " Possum gazed at his Jolly Goodwrench flag displayed behind the TV. "Never seen no 'Federate flag or slaves on the Ponderosa neither, just Hop Sing and he's Chinese and could come and go as he pleased, long as he cooked and cleaned. "

Possum wondered if there might be something he could do to make it up to the Cartwrights, who certainly must be terribly disappointed in his recent run of criminal behavior.

"I sorry about Moses, " Possum was talking to Hoss now.

"Well, little buddy, what you did was wrong, " Hoss answered.

"B'lieve me, I know, Hoss. But I was scared and Smoke woulda killed me or beat me bad and maybe drowned Popeye if I hadn't pulled the trigger. I wish I could do it over and run away before it was too late. But it is too late, and here I am in the clubhouse. "

"You gotta make it right, Little Buddy, " Hoss said from beneath his white ten-gallon hat. "What's done is done, but it ain't too late to make it right. "

"How?" Possum asked Ben this.

Ben was sitting high on his horse, ready to ride off to Carson City on an errand. He looked down at Possum and smiled a little.

"Why don't you start with calling Moses and apologizing?" he suggested, flicking the reins. "Then you're probably going to need to turn yourself in to Sheriff Cof-fey, " he added as he galloped off.

Possum sat in the dark and slowly flipped open his cell phone. His heart thudded and he strained to make sure no one was stirring inside the RV. He heard not a sound and called directory assistance and for fifty cents was connected to the hospital where he'd heard on the news Moses Custer was a patient.

"Moses Custer, please, " Possum said quietly.

"What's your name? He's only taking calls from people on his list. "

Possum groped for a way to trick the lady. "I number three on his list, ma'am. "

He heard her checking and hoped Dale Earnhardt's number would prove lucky. It did, sort of.

"It says Mr. and Mrs. Brutus Custer, so which are you?"

Possum had a high-pitched, soft voice that could easily pass for a woman's. He was a bit offended but knew he didn't sound like a Brutus.

"This Mrs. Custer, " he said. "I so worried about my daddy-in-law. I can't sleep or eat. Tell him if he don't feel up to talking, I'll try another time. "

Possum had given the receptionist an out, and was getting cold feet himself. Then Ben Cartwright turned around in the saddle and looked sternly at Possum.

"Hold on, " the receptionist said.

"Hello, " a male voice was on the line. "This Jessie? How you doin', baby? Why ain't you come to see me yet? I'm going home today. "

"Mr. Custer, this ain't Jessie, but I just got to talk to you. So please don't hang up. " Possum's heart was beating so hard he thought it might break his ribs.

"Who is this?" Moses was instantly suspicious.

"I can't tell you 'cept to say I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It was wrong, wrong, wrong, and I didn't mean it. But I was forced. "

"Who is this?" Moses demanded in an upset voice. "Why you be messing with me? You one of them pirates, ain't you!"

"Yes. But I don't wanna be, " Possum confessed.

"The hell you don't wanna be. I knew quick enough you wasn't Jessie, 'cause you don't sound like her. "

Possum took a deep breath. "I can't talk long. But I just wanted to tell you I sorry for what I done and if I can find a way to make it up to you, I promise I will, Mr. Custer. And you be sure to keep lots of police around, 'cause them road dogs is already talking about finding you and finishing you off. Their leader's name is Smoke and his girlfriend's Unique and shot that poor Seven-Eleven lady last night, and Smoke say he kill me if I didn't shoot at you when we took your truck and the reefer at the pumpkin stand. "

"Sons of bitches! Let 'em show their asses and then they'll see what trouble's all about!"

"I do my best to talk 'em out of it. "

"You? Who the hell is this…?"

Moses was yelling, and Possum, beginning to panic, ended the call.

"What the fuck's going on in here?" Smoke suddenly swung open Possum's bedroom door. "Who you talking to?"

Possum tucked the cell phone under the covers just in time.

"Just talking to Popeye about our new flag. " Possum thought quickly. "What you think, Smoke?"

Smoke walked in drinking a breakfast beer and looked long and hard at the big flag tacked to the wall.

"What is this shit?" Smoke asked in a hard, mean voice.

"You don't got a flag, and I was thinking that all pirates got flags, just like NASCAR drivers got colors. So I put this together for you, Smoke, like I said I would. Thought you could put it up in the pit when we go to the race tomorrow night. Then, when we escape to the island, you can hang it up there so everybody will know not to mess with you. "

"If you're going to talk to yourself, keep your fucking voice down. You woke me up, " Smoke said. "Now I'm going to be tired the rest of the day. "

Smoke calmed down and looked thoughtful as he studied the flag from different angles. He got an idea and tugged it loose from the wall.

"Maybe I'll just shoot the damn dog and wrap it in this thing. We'll leave a little present on Hammer's doorstep, " Smoke cruelly said.

Popeye, who could play possum just as well as Possum could, pretended to be asleep again, and Possum pretended he didn't care what happened to the dog.

"But that wouldn't be as good as getting Hammer and that Trooper Brazil, " Possum reminded him because Smoke tended to forget most things these days. "And we need the dog to get them to show up at the race so we can blow them away. Then Cat fly us off in the helicopter, and we live fat lives on the island. "

"And how the fuck do you intend to set up all this?" Smoke said, tossing the flag on top of Popeye, who didn't budge.

"That easy, " Possum replied. "I send an e-mail to

Captain Bonny and get him to do it. We know he got connections, right? So he can get the plan to Hammer and make her think you The Man NASCAR Driver with that pretty girlfriend, Unique, and the rest of us is your pit crew who happened to find Popeye wandering on the road. So we picked her up but ain't turning her over to no one less Hammer and Trooper Brazil can ID her for sure. So they show up at the race and come look for us, and the minute she starts screaming 'cause she's so happy to see Popeye, we pull out our guns, shoot everybody, run to the helicopter, and fly away. "

"Set it up, " Smoke ordered as he chugged the beer and tossed the can on the floor.