"I didn't plan it, Richard. I didn't want it to happen, but I would have done anything to escape Serephina. Anything."
"I don't understand that."
"I know," I said.
"There is no shame in surviving, Ma petite." I turned to Jean-Claude. There was no shock on his face. It was lovely and unreadable as a doll's.
"Then why can't I read your face right now?"
Life flowed back into his face, filled his eyes, moved behind his skin until he was there, staring at me. The look in his eyes wasn't what I expected. Fear was still there and surprise, but underneath was worry.
"Better?" he asked.
"Yes." I frowned. "What's worrying you?"
He sighed. "All honesty is eventually punished, but not usually this quickly."
"Answer me, Jean-Claude."
His eyes went past me to the werewolves waiting at Richard's back. "No one must speak of what has happened here, not to anyone."
"Why not?" Richard asked.
"It would embarrass Ma petite ."
"That's true," I said, "but that's not what you mean. You don't mind embarrassing me. Hell, this story would make a great threat for all your vampires. It'd scare the hell out of them."
"That, Ma petite , is the point."
I sighed. "Stop being obtuse and just tell us."
"I do not want this," he waved at the vampires, "coming to the attention of the vampire council."
"Why not?" Richard and I asked together.
"Put simply, Ma petite , they will kill you."
"I'm your registered human servant," I said, "you said you did that to keep me safe."
"For this they will come and see for themselves, Ma petite . Whoever they send will know instantly that you do not bear my marks. You are my servant in name only. That will not be enough for them. Without any binding between us, they will not trust you."
"So they'll kill her, just like that?" Richard asked. He moved closer to me as if he'd touch me, but his hands hesitated above my shoulders.
Without looking at him, I said, "One story about burning people alive and you don't want to touch me. You prejudiced little werewolf, you." I tried to keep my voice light but a harsh edge crept in.
His hands gripped my shoulders tightly. "It really bothers you, what you did, doesn't it?"
I turned to see his face, his hands still on my shoulders. "Of course it bothers me. I didn't just kill Magnus, I tortured him to death. Ellie Quinlan didn't deserve to be burned alive." I shook my head and tried to step away from him. He slid his arms across my back, holding me gently against him.
"I'm sorry you had to do it." He touched my hair with one hand, the other still against my back. "Your eyes are haunted by it, by what you did. Don't take this wrong, but it makes me feel better to see that pain in your eyes."
I pushed away from him. "Did you think I could kill someone by torture and feel nothing?"
He met my eyes but it seemed like it was an effort. "I wasn't sure."
I shook my head.
Jean-Claude took my left hand; the other was still holding the Firestar. He turned me to face him. He raised my hand towards his lips as he bowed slowly towards me. He spoke as he moved, "There is nothing that you could ever do that would make me not desire the touch of your body." He kissed my hand. His lips lingered a little longer than was polite. His tongue licked across my skin, and I pulled away.
"It scares you that I can raise vampires like this."
"Perhaps, Ma petite , but I have frightened you for years and yet you are still here."
He had a point. I stared at Willie. "Let's see if we can put everyone back where they belong." I hoped I could do it. I wanted Willie back, even if it was only a lie. He walked, he talked, it was still Willie. Or maybe, I just wanted it to be Willie. Maybe I needed it to be Willie.