Fifteen minutes before the end of the watch he stopped, and made sure that he was ready to be relieved. While waiting he thought about the shenanigan Kelly had pulled to get him back on duty. Good old Kelly! He knew Kelly well enough to know that he must not thank him; to do so would be to attribute to the Chief Computerman a motive which was "improper"--just wink the other eye and remember it.
Simes stomped in five minutes past the hour. He said nothing but looked over the log and records of observations Max had made. Max waited several minutes while growing more and more annoyed. At last he said, "Are you ready to relieve me, sir?"
"All in good time. I want to see first what you've loused up this time." Max kept his mouth shut. Simes pointed at the log where Max had signed it followed by "C.O. o/W." "That's wrong, to start with. Add 'under instruction.'"
Max breathed deeply. "Whose instruction, sir?"
"Mine."
Max hesitated only momentarily before answering, "No, sir. Not unless you are present during my watch to supervise me."
"Are you defying me?"
"No, sir. But I'll take written orders on that point ... entered in the log."
Simes closed the log book and looked him slowly up and down. "Mister, if we weren't short-handed you wouldn't be on watch. You aren't ready for a top watch--and it's my opinion that you won't ever be."
"If that's the way you feel, sir, I'd just as lief go back to chartsman. Or steward's mate."
"That's where you belong!" Simes' voice was almost a scream. Noguchi had hung around after Lundy had relieved him; they both looked up, then turned their heads away.
Max made no effort to keep his answer private. "Very good, sir. Will you relieve me? I'll go tell the First Officer that I am surrendering my temporary appointment and reverting to my permanent billet."
Max expected a blast. But Simes made a visible effort to control himself and said almost quietly, "See here, Jones, you don't have the right attitude."
Max thought to himself, "What have I got to lose?" Aloud he said, "You're the one who doesn't have the right attitude, sir."
"Eh? What's that?"
"You've been riding me ever since I came to work in the Hole. You've never bothered to give me any instruction and you've found fault with everything I did. Since my probationary appointment it's been four times worse. You came to my room and told me that you were opposed to my appointment, that you didn't want me ..."
"You can't prove that!"
"I don't have to. Now you tell me that I'm not fit to stand the watch you've just required me to stand. You've made it plain that you will never recommend me for permanent appointment, so obviously I'm wasting my time. I'll go back to the Purser's gang and do what I can there. Now, will you relieve me, sir?"
"You're insubordinate."
"No, sir, I am not. I have spoken respectfully, stating facts. I have requested that I be relieved--my watch was over a good half hour ago--in order that I may see the First Officer and revert to my permanent billet. As allowed by the rules of both guilds," Max added.
"I won't let you."
"It's my option, sir. You have no choice."
Simes' face showed that he indeed had no choice. He remained silent for some time, then said more quietly, "Forget it. You're relieved. Be back up here at eight o'clock."
"Not so fast, sir. You have stated publicly that I am not competent to take the watch. Therefore I can't accept the responsibility."
"Confound it! What are you trying to do? Blackmail me?
Max agreed in his mind that such was about it, but he answered, "I wouldn't say so, sir. You can't have it both ways."
"Well--I suppose you are competent to stand this sort of watch. There isn't anything to do, actually."
"Very good, sir. Will you kindly log the fact?"
"Huh?"
"In view of the circumstances, sir, I insist on the letter of the rules and ask you to log it."
Simes swore under his breath, then grabbed the stylus and wrote quickly. He swung the log book around. There!"
Max read: "M. Jones is considered qualified to stand a top watch in space, not involving anomaly. (s) R. Simes, Astrogator."
Max noted the reservation, the exception that would allow Simes to keep him from ever reaching permanent status. But Simes had stayed within the law. Besides, he admitted to himself, he didn't want to leave the Worry gang. He comforted himself with the thought that since they were all lost together it might never matter what Simes recommended.
"Quite satisfactory, sir."
Simes grabbed the book. "Now get out. See that you're back here on time."
"Aye aye, sir." Max could not refrain from having the last word, standing up to Simes had gone to his head. "Which reminds me, sir: will you please relieve me on time after this?"
"_What?_"
"Under the law a man can't be worked more than four hours out of eight, except for a logged emergency."
"Go below!"
Max went below, feeling both exultant and sick. He had no taste for fights, never had; they left him with a twisted lump inside. He burst into his room, and almost fell over Sam.
"Sam!"
"The same. What's eating you, boy? You look like the goblins had been chasing you."
Max flopped on his bunk and sighed. "I feel that way, too." He told Sam about the row with Simes.
Sam nodded approval. "That's the way to deal with a jerk like that--insult him until he apologizes. Give him lumps enough times and he'll eat out of your hand."
Max shook his head dolefully. "Today was fun, but he'll find some way to take it out on me. Oh, well!"
"Not so, my lad. Keep your nose clean and wait for the breaks. If a man is stupid and bad-tempered-- which he is, I sized him up long ago--if you are smart and keep _your_ temper, eventually he leaves himself wide open. That's a law of nature."
"Maybe." Max swung around and sat up. "Sam-- you're wearing your shield again."
Sam stuck his thumb under the badge of office of Chief Master-at-Arms. "Didn't you notice?"
"I guess I was spinning too fast. Tell me about it-- did the First decide to forgive and forget?"
"Not precisely. You know about that little excitement last night?"
"Well, yes. But I understand that officially nothing happened?"
"Correct. Mr. Walther knows when to pull his punches."
"What did happen? I heard you cracked some skulls together."
"Nothing much. And not very hard. I've seen ships where it would have been regarded as healthy exercise to settle your dinner. Some of the lads got scared and that made them lap up happy water. Then a couple with big mouths and no forehead got the inspiration that it was their right to talk to the Captain about it. Being sheep, they had to go in a flock. If they had run into an officer, he could have sent them back to bed with no trouble. But my unfortunate predecessor happened to run into them and told them to disperse. Which they didn't. He's not the diplomatic type, I'm afraid. So he hollered, 'Hey, Rube!' in his quaint idiom and the fun began."
"But where do you figure? You came to help him?"
"Hardly. I was standing at a safe distance, enjoying the festivities, when I noticed Mr. Walther's bedroom slippers coming down the ladder. Whereupon I waded in and was prominent in the ending. The way to win a medal, Max, is to make sure the general is watching, then act."
Max grinned. "Somehow I hadn't figured you for the hero type."
"Heaven forbid! But it worked out. Mr. Walther sent for me, ate me out, told me that I was a scoundrel and a thief and a nogoodnick--then offered me my shield back if I could keep order below decks. I looked him in the eye, a sincere type look, and told him I would do my best. So here I am."
"I'm mighty pleased, Sam."
"Thanks. Then he looked me in the eye and told me that he had reason to suspect--as if he didn't know!-- that there might be a still somewhere in the ship. He ordered me to find it, and then destroy any liquor I found."