They did, enthusiastically; made up a little for greater excitement they had thought of but really could not stomach. "Now, Gospodin LaJoie, you are fined fifty Hong Kong for not having common sense to learn local customs before stirring around. Ante up."

I collected it. "Now you boys line up. You are fined five dollars apiece for not exercising good judgment in dealing with a person you knew was a stranger and not used to our ways. Stopping him from touching Tish, that's fine. Rough him, that's okay, too; he'll learn faster. And could have tossed him out. But talking about eliminating for what was honest mistake--well, it's out of proportion. Five bucks each. Ante up.

Slim gulped. "Judge... I don't think we have that much left! At least I don't."

"I thought that might be. You have a week to pay or I post your names in Old Dome. Know where Bon Ton Beauté Shoppe is, near easement lock thirteen? My wife runs it; pay her. Court's out. Slim, don't go away. Nor you, Tish. Gospodin LaJoie, let's take these young people up and buy them a cold drink and get better acquainted."

Again his eyes filled with odd delight that reminded of Prof.

"A charming idea, Judge!"

"I'm no longer judge. It's up a couple of ramps... so I suggest you offer Tish your arm."

He bowed and said, "My lady? May I?" and crooked his elbow to her. Tish at once became very grown up. "Spasebo, Gospodin! I am pleased."

Took them to expensive place, one where their wild clothes and excessive makeup looked out of place; they were edgy. But I tried to make them feel easy and Stuart LaJoie tried even harder and successfully. Got their addresses as well as names; Wyoh had one sequence which was concentrating on stilyagi. Presently they finished their coolers, stood up, thanked and left. LaJoie and I stayed on.

"Gospodin," he said presently, "you used an odd word earlier--odd to me, I mean."

"Call me 'Mannie' now that kids are gone. What word?"

"It was when you insisted that the, uh, young lady, Tish-- that Tish must pay, too. 'Tone-stapple,' or something like it."

"Oh, 'tanstaafl.' Means ~There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.' And isn't," I added, pointing to a FREE LUNCH sign across room, "or these drinks would cost half as much. Was reminding her that anything free costs twice as much in long run or turns out worthless."

"An interesting philosophy."

"Not philosophy, fact. One way or other, what you get, you pay for." I fanned air. "Was Earthside once and heard expression 'Free as air.' This air isn't free, you pay for every breath."

"Really? No one has asked me to pay to breathe." He smiled. "Perhaps I should stop."

"Can happen, you almost breathed vacuum tonight. But nobody asks you because you've paid. For you, is part of round-trip ticket; for me it's a quarterly charge." I started to tell how my family buys and sells air to community co-op, decided was too complicated. "But we both pay."

LaJoie looked thoughtfully pleased. "Yes, I see the economic necessity. It's simply new to me. Tell me, uh, Mannie--and I'm called 'Stu'--was I really in danger of 'breathing vacuum'?"

"Should have charged you more."

"Please?"

"You aren't convinced. But charged kids all they could scrape up and fined them too, to make them think. Couldn't charge you more than them. Should have, you think it was all a joke."

"Believe me, sir, I do not think it was a joke. I just have trouble grasping that your local laws permit a man to be put to death... so casually... and for so trivial an offense."

I sighed. Where do you start explaining when a man's words show there isn't anything he understands about subject, instead is loaded with preconceptions that don't fit facts and doesn't even know he has?

"Stu," I said, "let's take that piece at a time. Are no 'local laws' so you couldn't be 'put to death' under them. Your offense was not 'trivial,' I simply made allowance for ignorance. And wasn't done casually, or boys would have dragged you to nearest lock to zero pressure, shoved you in, and cycled. Instead were most formal--good boys!--and paid own cash to give you a trial. And didn't grumble when verdict wasn't even close to what they asked. Now, anything still not clear?"

He grinned and turned out to have dimples like Prof; found myself liking him still more. "All of it, I'm afraid. I seem to have wandered into Looking Glass Land."

Expected that; having been Earthaide I know how their minds work, some. An earthworm expects to find a law, a printed law, for every circumstance. Even have laws for private matters such as contracts. Really, if a man's word isn't any good, who would contract with him? Doesn't he have reputation?

"We don't have laws," I said. "Never been allowed to. Have customs, but aren't written and aren't enforced--or could say they are self-enforcing because are simply way things have to be, conditions being what they are. Could say our customs are natural laws because are way people have to behave to stay alive. When you made a pass at Tish you were violating a natural law... and almost caused you to breathe vacuum."

He blinked thoughtfully. "Would you explain the natural law I violated? I had better understand it... or best I return to my ship and stay inboard until lift. To stay alive."

"Certainly. Is so simple that, once you understand, you'll never be in danger from it again. Here we are, two million males, less than one million females. A physical fact, basic as rock or vacuum. Then add idea of tanstaafl. When thing is scarce, price goes up. Women are scarce; aren't enough to go around--that makes them most valuable thing in Luna, more precious than ice or air, as men without women don't care whether they stay alive or not. Except a Cyborg, if you regard him as a man, which I don't."

I went on: "So what happens?--and mind you, things were even worse when this custom, or natural law, first showed itself back in twentieth century. Ratio was ten-to-one or worse then. One thing is what always happens in prisons: men turn to other men. That helps not much; problem still is because most men want women and won't settle for substitute while chance of getting true gelt.

"They get so anxious they will kill for it... and from stories old-timers tell was killing enough to chill your teeth in those days. But after a while those still alive find way to get along, things shake down. As automatic as gravitation. Those who adjust to facts stay alive; those who don't are dead and no problem.

"What that means, here and now, is that women are scarce and call tune... and you are surrounded by two million men who see to it you dance to that tune. You have no choice, she has all choice. She can hit you so hard it draws blood; you dasn't lay a finger on her. Look, you put an arm around Tish, maybe tried to kiss. Suppose instead she had gone to hotel room with you; what would happen?"

"Heavens! I suppose they would have torn me to pieces."

"They would have done nothing. Shrugged and pretended not to see. Because choice is hers. Not yours. Not theirs. Exclusively hers. Oh, be risky to ask her to go to hotel; she might take offense and that would give boys license to rough you up. But--well, take this Tish. A silly little tart. If you had flashed as much money as I saw in your pouch, she might have taken into head that a bundle with tourist was just what she needed and suggested it herself. In which case would have been utterly safe."

Lajoie shivered. "At her age? It scares me to think of it. She's below the age of consent. Statutory rape."

"Oh, bloody! No such thing. Women her age are married or ought to be. Stu, is no rape in Luna. None. Men won't permit. If rape had been involved, they wouldn't have bothered to find a judge and all men in earshot would have scrambled to help. But chance that a girl that big is virgin is negligible. When they're little, their mothers watch over them, with help from everybody in city; children are safe here. But when they reach husband-high, is no holding them and mothers quit trying. If they choose to run corndors and have fun, can't stop 'em; once a girl is nubile, she's her own boss. You married?"