Charming came at length into a clearing, in a bright little meadow surrounded on all sides by darkness and menace. At the far end Charming could see a pavilion made of green and orange cloth. A large black horse was tethered to a tree nearby, tall and fine, a proper battle horse.
Charming walked forward and approached the pavilion. There were arms piled outside it: heavy, black armor, splendidly made, encrusted here and there with pearls. Whoever it belonged to, he must be wealthy and doubtless powerful.
Charming saw that there was a slughorn hanging from a standard outside the tent. He raised the horn and blew a loud blast. Before the echo had faded, there was a stirring within the pavilion. Then a man emerged. He was large, black-haired, and scowling. He dragged beside him a fair maiden in a swooning mode.
"Now who is this blows my slughorn?" the knight said. He was clad in brightly striped smallclothes. Seeing Charming, he scowled more deeply.
"La, sir, I am Prince Charming," Charming said. "And I ride forth to rescue the Princess Scarlet from her sleeping spell."
"Ha!" said the knight.
"Why do you say 'ha'?" asked Charming.
"Because it behooves me to make a scornful sound on hearing of this slight and utterly insignificant quest of yours."
"I suppose your quest is more important?"
"Of a surety it is!" the man replied confidently. "For know, young man, that I am Parsifal, and I quest after no less a thing than the Holy Grail."
"The Grail, huh?" said Charming. "Is it really in these parts?"
"Of course it is. This is the enchanted forest. In it subsist all things, and the Holy Grail is sure to be found here."
"What about the woman?" Charming asked.
"Beg pardon?"
"That woman you're holding by the hair."
Parsifal looked down. "Oh, her. She signifies nothing."
"But what are you doing with her?"
"Must I spell it out?"
"Of course not! What I mean is - "
"I know what you mean," Parsifal said. "She is here for me to toy with until the Grail is in sight."
"I see," said Charming. "By the way, do you need that horse?"
"My horse?" said Parsifal.
"Just thought I'd ask. Because if you don't, I could sure use him. He's a lot bigger and stronger than mine."
"This is the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time," said Parsifal. "This child knight scarcely dry behind the ears comes riding into my camp and he wants to know do I need my horse. Why, no, certainly not, fellow. You can have him if you want him."
"Thanks," Charming said. He dismounted. "That's really uncommon kind of you."
"But first," Parsifal said, "you will have to fight me for him."
"I was afraid there'd be a condition attached."
"Yes, there is. I see you have a Fairly Lucky Sword."
"I do," Charming said, drawing it and holding it out. "Nice, isn't it?"
"Nice," Parsifal agreed, "but of course it's not an Enchanted Sword like mine." He drew his own and showed it to Charming.
"I don't suppose," Charming said, "a sword like mine would be much good against a sword like yours."
"No, in all honesty, I don't think so," Parsifal said. "Fairly Lucky Swords aren't bad, but you can't expect much of them against a real Enchanted Sword."
"I didn't think so. Look, do we really have to fight?"
"I'm afraid we do," Parsifal said, and attacked.
Prince Charming jumped out of the way and swung his Fairly Lucky Sword. The two swords clanged together with an uncanny sound. This was succeeded by an even more uncanny sound when Prince Charming's blade broke.
"I win!" cried Parsifal, swinging up his Enchanted Sword for the death stroke. "Gawg!"
Charming thought he was finished, so he used his final seconds to think over his memories, which in his case didn't take very long.
But Charming's time on Earth was not quite up. Since his sword had been Fairly Lucky, and a very good example of its kind, it happened that when it broke, a single bright shard of metal had flown upward, penetrating Parsifal's throat, where the gorget revealed a fraction of an inch of flesh.
This was the cause of the "Gawg!" Parsifal voiced, before he fell to the earth with a thunderous sound.
"Sorry, but you asked for it," Charming said. He turned and moved away, figuring that someone else would be along after a while to bury the man.
"Take the handsome sword," a voice recommended.
"Who said that?" Charming asked.
"Me," Parsifal's sword explained. "Take the horse, too."
"Who are you?" Charming asked.
"They call me Excalibur," the sword said.
"What do they say about you?"
"Read my runes," the sword answered.
Charming took up the sword and looked at its gleaming blade. Sure enough, there were runes engraved there, though he couldn't understand them. He looked at the sword with respect and said, "Why did you speak to me?"
"I'm not supposed to," the sword admitted. "But I couldn't just let you walk away and leave me. I'll be out of work, and I love my work. You'll find me very useful. If anyone gives you trouble, they'll have me to answer to."
As Charming turned toward the horse, "Hold, sir!" cried the maiden, rising from her semirecumbent position upon the earth. "I beg thee succor me, by thy knightly oath."
Not recalling any oaths of a knightly sort, Charming nevertheless replied, "What sort of succor did you have in mind?"
"I am a Valkyrie," she explained, "and this man overpowered me on a battlefield by feigning death to lure me near. I can only go home to Walhall now if I summon the Rainbow Bridge and have a suitable trophy to take with me. Can you help me locate my horn, which he appropriated?"
"That seems easy enough," Charming replied, "especially if it's the slughorn I blew on my approach. Is that it hanging from the standard by the tent?"
"Indeed it is," she replied, crossing to it, raising it to her lips, and winding it in an eerie fashion.
Instantly, the end of a rainbow fell from the sky, barely missing Charming.
"Thank you, good sir," she stated, commencing to gather Parsifal's armor.
"Don't you want the dead knight?" Charming asked. "I thought you ladies collected them."
"I've no use for a knight who can't keep his myths straight," she observed. "Good armor, on the other hand, is hard to come by." She dinged the breastplate with a sharpened fingernail, carried the pieces to the rainbow, blew him a kiss, called, "Be seeing you," and vanished in a flash of light.
Charming rode off on the charger through the forest with the sword Excalibur strapped to his shoulder, leading his original horse. It was wonderful to feel the sword there. After a while he heard a low murmur beneath his right ear and realized that it was Excalibur, muttering to itself.
"What is the matter?" Charming asked.
"Nothing much. A touch of rust."
"Rust!" Charming drew Excalibur and examined the shining blade. "I do not see it."
"I can feel it coming on me," said the sword. "I need anointing."
"I have no oil."
"A bit of blood or ichor will do very well."
"I have none."
"Then forget about it, laddie, and let me nap and dream of the old days."
That seemed to Charming a very strange thing to say. But he let it pass. He continued on.
Presently, the sword seemed to sleep, because a low even snoring sound came from it. Charming had no idea that talking swords could also snore. He tried to ignore it, and rode along until he passed a man in a friar's cowl.
The friar greeted Charming, and they went their respective ways. But Excalibur said, "Did ye see the sly-naughty look of him?"
"I didn't notice anything of the sort."
"He was planning your destruction," the sword said. "Such insolence! And such malevolence!"
"I didn't think it was like that at all," Charming said.