Mostly, this consisted of using disguise spells to alter the appearances of both Spyder and myself. She said this was to make us look less intimidatin' so people would be more inclined to let 'em think she was usin' the opportunity to exact a little revenge on us, as she maintained the same appearance she had when we was dealin' with the soldier types, and, if you'll recall, that was not exactly demure and unassumin'.

She let Spyder keep her new 'hot babe' look, but changed her outfit so it was no longer even a modified army uniform. Even so, the new civilian outfit was considerably less peek-a-boo provocative than it had been.

The real axe job she saved for me.

Now, I cannot argue with her basic logic, as there is no doubt that my normal appearance is both noticeable and awe-inspirin' and played no small part in my career choice. I mean, Mob enforcers tend to come in one of two body types: either the big and wide man-mountain model like Nunzio and myself; or the skinny, fast, and nasty knife-man model like Snake. Either style has the marked advantage of makin' regular folks want to co-operate with you without contestin' whether or not you are actually capable of uppin' the ante if they decide to be difficult. It was therefore understandable that she felt it necessary to lessen the impact of the visual impression I normally make on the uninitiated.

I do, however, think she went a bit overboard on said lessenin'.

First, she knocked about a third off me, both in height and in girth. Then she took my normally spiffy outfit and changed it to a drab overall kind of rig than hung on my "new body" like a coat draped over a small chair. The buck teeth were a totally unnecessary touch, as I did not plan on smilin' much while lookin' like this.

"That should just about do it," Pookie sez with a grin, steppin' back to survey me like an artist viewin' a still-damp canvas. "Just remember to keep your weapons out of sight unless we're actually attacked."

This last I figure was a bit of self-protection on her part, because the way I was feelin' after havin' viewed my new appearance, there was no doubt in my mind as to who my prime target would be if I should happen to decide to abandon my preferred peace-lovin' manner.

"Everybody ready?" she sez, finally. "Spyder? Guido?"

"It's your show," I sez with a shrug.

"All right. Just stay close and follow my lead."

We tags along as she ambles into the scattered groupin' of small businesses that seems to mark the hub of the subdivision. There is only a handful of people wanderin' about, and most of them seem to be of the housewife variety. In no time flat, however, she has singled out her first target. He is a lanky string-bean son with fiery red hair. More notably to the practiced eye. his clothes are several notches more expensive than anyone else's who is immediately visible.

"Excuse me? Sir?" Pookie sez, hailin' him.

He glances around a couple times to be sure she is addressin' him, then comes over to where we are standin'.

"Yes, Miss? Can I be of assistance?" he sez.

Definitely an educated type.

"I certainly hope so," Pookie sez, givin' him her best smile. "Do you live around here?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," he sez, givin' the smile right back to her.

'Then maybe you can help us. You see, my associates and I have just arrived in your charming community and don't really know our way around. The thing is, we're supposed to be conducting a sort of a survey, and we don't have the foggiest of where to start."

"A survey? How fascinating."

As this exchange is goin' on the two of them are givin' each other the once over. Also the twice and three-times-over if you is actually countin'. Neither seems particularly disappointed with what they are seein'.

"Anyway, I was just saying to my assistants . .. Forgive me. My name is Pookie. And you are . .. ?"

"Will."

"Pleased to meet you, Will. You see, I was thinking that if we had the help of someone who really knew the area, we could get our job done in no time at all. That would free us up to explore whatever entertainment the local nightlife has to offer. Of course, you'd be welcome to join me ... us... if you agree to help, that is."

She is layin' it on pretty thick, but the yokel is eatin' it up with a spoon and droolin' for more.

"It just so happens that I have the afternoon free ... and the evening," he sez, his smile gettin' even wider. "What kind of a survey are you conducting?"

"We're just trying to find out what the local opinion is of the freedom fighters operating out of the Royal Game Preserve," Pookie sez.

All of a sudden. Will is not smilin'.

"Freedom fighters?" he sez.

"You know," Pookie sez with a wink, "the ones who have been running the tax vultures around in circles lately?"

The guy is now literally backin' away from her.

"I've never even heard of them," he sez. "No, ma'am. No knowledge at all. In fact, I don't think I'll be able to help you after all. Now, if you'll excuse me?"

"Maybe you can join us later?" Pookie sez, still tryin'.

"It occurs to me that probably wouldn't be such a good idea," he sez. "People might get the wrong impression if we were seen together. You see, I'm married."

"I don't mind," Pookie sez. "Besides, marriage isn't anything a good lawyer can't fix."

"Lady, I am a lawyer," he sez. "And I've never fixed ... I ever heard ... Goodbye."

With that he turns on his heel and leaves, almost run-nin' in his haste to put distance between him and us as we watch his retreat in bewildered silence.

"Well, that was instructive," Spyder sez.

"Ease up, Spyder," I sez before Pookie can go after her. "Tell me, Pookie, is it just me or was there something strange with the way that scene played?"

"Definitely something wrong there," Pookie sez, frownin'. "I could have sworn I had him hooked solid. Oh well, let me give it another try."

The next guy she runs her routine on is a big, athletic-lookin' individual named John we find loading one of those portapotties onto a wagon. Unfortunately, it's almost identical to what happened with Will, only without the polished language. John is all enthusiastic until she mentions the guys in the forest, then he practically tramples us makin' his getaway. As it turns out, John is also a married man.

"Either married men are a lot different in this dimension, or this is a very strange community," Pookie sez, her frustration startin' to show.

"I don't understand it either," I sez. "Tell you what, Pookie. Since they aren't respondin' to Beauty, what say we give the Beast a try?"

"Excuse me?" she sez, blinkin'.

I give her my best smile.

"Change me back to my normal appearance and let me give it a shot."

"Why not?" she sez. "I've been batting zero so far. In fact, while I'm at it, I'll give Spyder and myself a redo as well. That way we can always try the 'survey team' bit a try again later."

A few magical passes later, and I am my old self again. Mind you, a disguise spell doesn't actually change you physically, just your appearance. Still, it's good to know people are seein' the real me once again.

"Okay, Guido," Pookie sez, "it's your turn now. Pick your target."

"That place across the way looks as good as any," I sez, pointin'.

"Robb's Hardware and Sporting Goods?" Pookie sez, readin' the sign. "Okay. Anything we should do to back your play?"

"Nothin' special," I sez. "Just wander around the place slow and handle stuff. That and smile a lot."

With that, I lead the way across the street and through the doors into the store.

The guy behind the counter homes in on us as soon as we make our entrance, and not just because we're the only other ones in the place. As I noted earlier, my normal appearance tends to draw attention.