In a masterful display of control, I manages not to fumble with the key whilst unlockin' the door, and even stand aside to let her enter first.

Bein' a broad, she whips out one of those foldin' mirrors and starts checkin' her makeup even before I finish lockin' the door behind us.

"So," I sez, over my shoulder, "What do you want to do first?"

To be honest with youse, at this point I have no interest at all in creatin' a hassle. Instead, I am thankin' my lucky stars that a skirt like this would give a lug like me a second look, and hopin' we can get on with things before she changes her mind.

"Well," she sez, "You could start by bringing me up to date on how you and Nunzio have been doing."

It takes a moment for this to sink in, but when it does, I knows just what to say.

"Say what?" I sez, spinnin' around.

The skirt what I come upstairs with is nowhere to be seen. Instead, I've got a different broad in the room with me. One with green hair and ...

"Hi, Guido!" she sez. "Great disguise, huh?"

Chapter Ten:

"Now, here's my plan!"

-R. BURNS

"TANANDA? Is that you?"

My surprise is not entirely due to my not havin' spotted who it is what has been cadgin' drinks from me all evening ... though I hadn't. Rather I am more than a little startled by her appearance, which has changed considerably since we parted company at the beginnin' of this mission.

Tananda is normally a spectacular lookin' skirt with an impressive mane of green hair. While she has never chosen to present the formal, every-hair-in-place-self-presentation favored by most of the broads what hang out at the sushi bar, optin' instead for a casual wind-blown look, I am sufficiently versed in the secrets of the female gender to be aware that the latter look is as, or more, difficult to establish and maintain as the former, and often harder to carry off. All of which is to say Tananda is usually very attractive to and careful of her looks.

What I am currently seein', however, is someone who looks like she has been on the wrong end of a bad accident. Most of the hair is missin' from one side of her head, along with the correspondin' eyebrow, and the other side of her face is marred by a big bruise which seems to be fadin', but still looks painful. Havin' both given and received more than my share of the latter type of injury, I can estimate with fair accuracy the force of the blow necessary to produce such spectacular results ... and it must have been a doozey.

"Sorry for the horror show," she sez, puttin' away her disguise mirror after takin' one last peek, as if to see whether things have changed since the last time she looked, "but it's been a rough assignment so far."

"What ... What happened to you?" I sez, findin' my voice at last. "Who did this to you?"

I mean, we had all known there might be some trouble associated with this mission, but nobody likes to see a beautiful skirt get worked over.

"Would you believe it was our own team?" she sez, flashin' a quick smile, though I knew it hurt. "Come again?"

"The hair is courtesy of Gleep," she explained. "I guess it was an accident. I must have gotten between him and dinner or something. Anyway, it's not as bad as it looks ... or could have been, Chumley saw it coming even if I didn't and got me out of the way of the worst of it ... which is both where the bruise came from and why I'm not complaining about it. Honestly, you should see what happened to the wall that was behind me at the time."

"Speakin' of which, where are Chumley and Gleep?"

For the first time in our conversation, Tananda starts lookin" uncomfortable.

"They've ... ah ... headed back to Big Julie's. Actually, big brother's in a bit worse shape than I am, so rather than have him trying to work with his arm in a sling, I told him to take Gleep somewhere out of the action and stay with him for awhile. Ifs funny, you know? I still can't figure what set Gleep off ... but until we can get a handle on it, I figure he's more of a danger than a help on this assignment. Anyway, I decided to stay on and use this disguise gizmo to see if I could do anything to help the cause on my own. I sure couldn't do much worse than we were doing as a team."

Somethin' was tuggin' at the back of my mind ... somethin' that Nunzio had said about his last assignment and bein' nervous about workin' with Gleep again. I couldn't put my finger on it, though, and seein' as how the discussion was makin' Tananda uncomfortable, I decided not to pursue the subject. I did, however, make a mental note to talk with Nunzio about it when we had a chance.

"Sounds like things weren't goin' too well even before the accident," I sez, pickin' up on her last aside.

"You can say that again," Tananda sez, heavin' a little sigh. "We were trying to work a variation on the old badger game ... you know, where I give a soldier the come on, then Chumley bursts in and raises a ruckus because the guy's compromising his sister's honor?"

"I know the scam," I sez, 'cause I do ... though I've never run it or been victimized by it myself. Still, it's a time-tested, classic gambit.

"Well, it wasn't working anywhere near as well as we would have hoped. Most of the soldiers around here are under orders to keep their hands off the local women, and if I upped the voltage to make them forget their orders, then the locals would spot what I was doing and take the position that I was asking for whatever attentions I got."

"Gee, that's tough," I said. "It musta been hard on you ... particularly if you was workin' injured."

I still didn't like the way that bruise was healin', and it must have shown in my voice 'cause Tananda leans forward and puts a hand on my arm.

"I'm all right, Guido, really ... though it's sweet of you to be worried. I've gotten a lot worse just rough-housing with Chumley ... honest."

Realizin' that her big brother is a troll, I can well believe that Tananda is used to gettin' dinged up a bit in family squabbles. Right now, however, there is somethin' else weighin' on my mind.

You see, Tananda's touch was real soft and warm when she laid her hand on my arm, and it gets me to thinkin' again about the original reason I had for bringin' her up to this room. As I said before, it has been a long time since I have been alone with a skirt on anythin' resemblin' an intimate basis ... But Tananda is still a business associate, and as with any profession, it is unwise at best to allow oneself to become intimately involved with a fellow worker. Besides, she has never indicated to me any interest beyond friendship ... or maybe a big sister. Still it was real nice to have woman touchin' me ...

"Umm ... All right. If you say so," I sez, movin' slightly to break the physical contact between us. "We was just assigned here ourselves, so we haven't had a chance to do much of anythin'. I think maybe we should try to figure out how Nunzio and me can work the same area as you without us gettin' in each other's way."

"Don't be silly, Guido. Since you're here, we can all work together!"

"Come again?"

"Think about it," she sez, gettin' all bouncy in her eagerness. "I've been having trouble finding soldiers to take the bait on my little routine, but you're soldiers, so it can make both our jobs easier. If we're working both sides of the game, we can control exactly how we want things to go."

I make a sincere effort to ignore her bouncin' whilst I try to think of a good reason not to go along with her suggestion. Somehow I am not sure my actin' skills are up to pretendin' to be physically forward with Tananda ... but I am even less enthusiastic about havin' Nunzio take the part.

"I dunno, Tananda," I sez, reluctant-like. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea. I mean, we might pull it off once ... but if we're successful in our play-actin', then Nunzio and me end up in the stockade and out of action for the duration."