Dent laughed.
"Better start the music. We have a busy schedule."
The music started and Mother was startled into alertness. Ah, yes. It was time. Being empress wasn't all luxury and pleasant memories. It was also responsibility. There was work to be done.
I'm lazy, now that I'm at the pinnacle of power, she said to herself. But I must keep the wheels turning. I must know what is going on.
She got up and dressed in the simple tunic she had always worn.
"Is she really going to wear that?"
"It was the style when she ruled actively. A lot of heavy sleepers do that-- it keeps a touch of familiarity around them."
"But, Nab, it makes her look like a relic of the pleistocene."
"It keeps her happy. We want her to be happy."
The first item of business was the reports. The ministers had to make the reports personally, and the new ministers who had been appointed since her last waking were on trial as she talked to them. The minister of fleets, the minister of armies, and the minister of peace were first. From them she learned about the war.
"With whom," she said, "are we at war?"
"We aren't at war," said the minister of armies innocently.
"Your budget has doubled, sir, and the number of conscripts is also more than twice what it was yesterday. That's a lot of change for five years. And don't give me any merde about inflation. Whom, my dear friends, are we fighting?"
They glanced at each other, fury barely concealed. It was the minister of fleets who answered, affecting contempt for his fellows. "We didn't want to bother you with it. It's just a border conflict. The governor of Sedgway rebelled awhile ago, and he's managed to attract some support. We'll have it under control in a few years."
She sneered. "Some minister of fleets you are. How do you get something under control in a few years when it takes twenty or thirty years to get from here to there even in our lightships?"
The minister of fleets had nothing to say. The minister of armies intervened. "We meant, of course, a few years after the fleets' arrival."
"Just a border conflict? Then why double the army?"
"It wasn't that large before."
"I conquered-- my husband conquered the known galaxy with a tenth as many soldiers as you have, sir. We considered it a rather large force. I think you're lying to me, gentlemen. I think you're trying to hide the fact that this war is more serious than you thought."
They protested. But even their doctored-up figures couldn't hide the truth from her.
Nab laughed. "I told them not to lie. Everyone thinks he can outwit a middle-aged woman who sleeps most of the time, but the bitch is far too clever for them. Wager you five that she fires them."
"Can she do that?"
"She can. And does. It's the only power left to her-- and these fools who think they can make their reports without following my advice always end up losing their jobs."
Dent looked puzzled. "But, Nab, when she fires them, why don't they just stay on the job and send assistants to her?"
"It was tried once, before you were born, my boy. She was able to discover in only three questions th the assistant wasn't used to giving orders like a minister; it took only three questions more to know she had been defrauded. She ordered the poor who tried to fool her brought into her chamber, and she sentenced both him and his assistant to death for treason."
"You're joking."
"To tell you how much of a joke it was, it took two hours to convince her that she ought not to shoot them herself. She kept insisting that she was going make sure it was done right."
"What happened to them?"
"They were dropped from high somec levels and sent out to administer sectors on nearby planets.'
"Couldn't even stay on Capitol?"
"She insisted."
"But then-- then she does rule!"
"Like hell she does."
The minister of colonization was next to last. He was new in his job, and frightened to death. He, at least, had believed Nab's warnings.
"Good morning," he said.
"Who are you trying to impress? One thing I hate is cheerful morning greetings. Sit down. Give me your report."
His hand was trembling when he gave her the report. She read it, quickly but thoroughly, dnd turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Who thought of this cockamamy scheme?"
"Well--" he began.
"Well? What's well?"
"It's a continuing program."
"Continuing?"
"I thought you knew about this from prior reports."
"I do know about it. A unique way of handling war. Outcolonize the bastards. Great plan. It hasn't shown up on any reports until now, fool! Now, who thought of it!"
"I really don't know," he said miserably.
She laughed. "What a prize you are. A cabinet full of ninnies, and you are the worst. Who told you about the program?"
He looked uncomfortable. "The assistant minister of colonization, Mother."
"Name?"
"Doon. Abner Doon."
"Get out of here and tell the chancellor I want to meet this Abner Doon."
The minister of colonization got up and left.
Mother stayed in her chair, looking gloomily at the walls. Things were slipping out of her control.
She could feel it. Last waking there had bait little hints. A touch of smugness. This time they had tried to lie to her several times.
They needed shaking up. I'll shake them up, she decided. And if it's necessary, I'll stay awake two days. Or even a week. The thought was exhilarating. To stay awake for days at a time-- the prospect was exciting.
"Bring me a girl," she said. "A girl about sixteen. I need to talk to someone who will understand."
"Your cue, Hannah," Dent said. Hannah looked nervous. "Don't worry, kid. She's nota pervert or anything. She just wants to talk. Just remember, like Nab said, don't lie. Don't lie about anything."
"Hurry up. She's waiting," Nab interrupted.
The girl left the control room and passed through the hall to the door. She knocked softly.
"Come in," Mother said gently. "Come in."
The girl was lovely, her hair red and sweet and long, her manner confused and shy.
"Come here, girl. What's your name?"
"Hannah."
And they began to converse. A strange conversation, to Hannah, who knew only the gossip of the younger members of uppercrust Capitol society. The middle-aged woman kept insisting on reminiscing, and Hannah didn't know what to say. Soon, however, she realized that there was no need to say much at all. She had only to hear, and occasionally express interest.
And after a while the interest did not have to be feigned. Mother was a relic of an earlier time, a strange time when there were trees on Capitol and the planet was named Crove.
"Are you a virgin?" asked Mother.
Don't lie, Hannah remembered. "No."
"Whom did you give it up to?"
What does it matter? She doesn't know him. "An artist. His name is Fritz."
"Is he good?"
"Everything he does is beautiful. His pieces sell for--"
"I meant in bed."
Hannah blushed. "It was just the once. I wasn't very good. He was kind."
"Kind!" Mother snorted. "Kind. Who asks a man to be kind?"
"I do," Hannah said defiantly.
"A man who is kind is in control of himself, my dear. You wasted a golden opportunity. I gave my virginity to Selvock. Ancient history to you, girl, but it wasn't all that long ago to me. I was a calculating little bitch even then. I knew that whoever I gave it to would be in my debt. And when I saw Selvock Gray I knew immediately that he was the man I wanted to have owe me.
"I took him out riding horses. You don't know horses, there aren't any on Capitol anymore, more's the pity. After a few kilometers I made him take off the saddles so we could ride bareback. And after a few kilometers more I made him take off his clothes and I took off mine. There's nothing like riding a horse bareback, in the nude. And then-- I can't believe I did this-- I forced my horse to trot. Men don't enjoy trotting even when they have stirrups, but without stirrups and without clothes, the trotting was agony for dear Selvock. Damn near castrated the poor man. But he was too proud to say anything. Just gripped the horse, turning white with every jolt. And finally I gave in and let the horse run full out.