He seemed a little annoyed, and I would have liked to

do or say something to cheer him up. Before I could

think of anything, however, my apprentice decided to

join the conversation.

"This is quite a layout you've got, Fast Worker.

MYTH-ING PERSONS 55

Mind if I ask exactly what it is you do?"

As always, Massha's "people sense" proved to be

better than mine. The little vampire brightened notice-

ably at the compliment, and his chest puffed out as he

launched into his narration.

"Well, the job was originally billed as Dispatcher...

you know, as in Dispatcher of Nightmares. But anyway,

like any job, it turned out to involve a lot of things that

aren't on the job description. Now it's sort of a com-

bination of dispatcher, travel agent, lost and found, and

missing persons bureau."

"Nightmares?" I questioned, unable to contain my-

self.

"Sure. Anything that comes out of Limbo, be it

dreams or the real thing, comes through here. Where're

you from that you didn't know that?"

Obviously, I wasn't wild about continuing on the sub-

ject of our place of origin.

"Ahhh, can you really help us find our friend? He's

new in town, like us."

"That's right. You're looking for someone. Sorry. I

get a little carried away sometimes when I talk about my

work. New in town, hmmm? Shouldn't be that hard to

locate. We don't get that many visitors."

"He might be in jail," Massha blurted out before I

realized what she was going to say.

"In jail?" The vampire frowned. "The only outsider

in jail right now is. ... Say! Now I recognize you! The

eyes threw me for a minute. You're Skeeve, aren't

you?"

"Screen 97B!" he declared proudly, gesturing

vaguely over his shoulder. "There's someone a dozen

dimensions over from here, runs a hot dog stand, who

features you in his most frequent nightmares. You, a

dragon, and a Pervert. Am I correct in assuming that

56 Robert Asprin

the current resident in our fair jail is none other than

your sidekick Aahz?"

"To be correct, that's Pervect, not Pervert... but ex-

cept for that you're right. That's my partner you've got

locked up there, and we aim to get him out."

I was probably talking too much, but being recog-

nized in a dimension I'd never heard of had thrown me

off balance. Then again, the Dispatcher didn't seem all

that hostile at the discovery. More curious than any-

thing else.

"Well, well. Skeeve himself. I never expected to meet

you in person. Sometime you must tell me what you did

to that poor fellow to rate the number-one slot on his hit

parade of nightmares."

"What about Aahz?'' I said impatiently.

"You know he's up for murder, don't you?"

"Heard it. Don't believe it. He's a lot of things, but a

murderer isn't one of them."

"There's a fair amount of evidence." Vilhelm

shrugged. "But tell me. What's with the vampire get-

up. You're no more a vampire than I'm a Klahd."

"It's a long story. Let's just say it seemed to be the

local uniform."

"Let's not," the dispatcher grinned. "Pull up a chair

... free of charge, of course. I've got time and lots of

questions about the other dimensions. Maybe we can

trade a little information while you're here."