'Men are like that,' I told her. 'I'm just glad you're both happy.'
'I'll miss being the main protagonist,' she said wistfully. Girls Make all the Moves was a good role but in a crap book — do you think I'll ever be the heroine again?'
'Well, Lola,' I told her, 'some would say that the hero of any story is the one who changes the most. If we take the moment when we first met as the beginning of the story and right now as the end, I think that makes you and Randolph the heroes by a long chalk.'
'It does, doesn't it?'
She smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.
'Thursday?'
'Yes?'
'So who did kill Godot?'
Credits
Falstaff, the three witches, Banquo's ghost, Beatrice and Benedict all kindly supplied by Shakespeare (William) Inc.
Our thanks to Mr Heathcliff for graciously agreeing to appear in this novel.
Uriah Heep kindly loaned by Wickfield & Heep, attorneys-at-law.
My thanks to ScarletBea, Yan, Ben, Carla, Jon, Magda, AllAmericanCutie and Dave at the Fforde Fforum for their nominations in the 'Bookie' awards.
Hedge-pig research, Anna Karenina footnoterphone gossip and 'Dodo egg' sarcasm furnished by Mari Roberts.
Solomon's Judgements © The Council of Genres, 1986.
'Chocolate orange' joke used with kind permission of John Birmingham.
UltraWord — the Ultimate Reading Experience™ remains a trademark of Text Grand Central.
'Best Dead Person in Fiction' Bookie category courtesy of C.J. Avery.
'Fictionaut' wordsmithed by Jon Brierley.
Evilness consultant: Ernst Blofeld.
Mrs Bradshaw's gowns by Coco Chanel.
Aornis little sister idea courtesy of Rosie Fforde.
Our grateful thanks to the Great Panjandrum for help and guidance in the making of this novel.
No unicorns were written expressly for this book and no animals or Yahoos (other than grammasites) were harmed in its construction.
This novel was written in BOOK V8.3 and was sequenced using a Mk XXIV ImaginoTransference device. Peggy Malone was the imagmator. Plot Devices and Inciting Incidents supplied by Billy Budd's Bargain Basement and the WOLP Plot Salvage and Recycling Corporation. Generics supplied and trained by St Tabularasa's.
Holes were filled by apprentices at the Holesmiths' Guild, and echolocation and grammatisation was undertaken by Outland contractors at Hodder and Penguin.
The 'Galactic Cleansing" policy undertaken by Emperor Zhark is a personal vision of the emperor's, and its inclusion in this work does not constitute tacit approval by the author or the publisher for any such projects, howsoever undertaken. Warning: The author may have eaten nuts while writing this book.
Made wholly on location within the Well of Lost Plots.
A Fforde/Hodder/Penguin production. All rights reserved.