Tim released Ben’s wrists and wrapped him tightly in his arms. “Welcome back,” he murmured.

* * * * *

Allison pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Then she dropped her hand and shook her head while giving him a “Mm, mm, mm, mm.” Ben hated when she was this dramatic, but he probably deserved it.

“I knew it,” she said, picking up her fork and poking at the leftover crème brulée. “As soon as you offered to take me out to dinner, I knew you had done something stupid.”

“Stupid might be putting it strongly,” Ben said in defense.

“Jace.”

All right, that put him in his place.

“You’re right,” Ben sighed, “but I don’t even know where things stand with him.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Yes.”

“Then what are you doing?” Allison’s expressive eyes pleaded with him to start making sense. “I know we’re both shocked to learn that Jace isn’t perfect, but how many times has he forgiven you? Patch things up with him and put as much distance as you can between you and your past.”

Ben shook his head. “Tim isn’t my past, not any more. He’s just as much a part of my life now as Jace is. Was. I know you’ve never forgiven Tim for hurting me, but I love him. It’s inexplicable and probably stupid, but I do.”

“You can’t have both of them,” Allison said. “There’s a reason you never see three old people walking through a park and holding hands. It just doesn’t happen.”

Ben wasn’t sure about that. The world was a big place, but it was a moot point since Jace wouldn’t have it. As possessive as Tim could be, he probably wouldn’t either.

“Tim was your first in a lot of ways,” Allison pressed. She pointed through a waiter to the entrance. “If Ronnie Adams walked through that door right now, I’m sure my heart would be all pitter-patter as well, but we had our chance and it didn’t work out. We’ve both moved on, and that’s for the best. You moved on too, but Tim never did. Now he’s dragged you right back to where you left off.”

She had a point. Regardless of the years that had passed, they had started up again as if nothing had happened. But she was wrong about them having had their chance. His relationship with Tim had been cut short, ended by Tim’s fear of what society and his parents would think. Now he was old enough to live the kind of life he wanted without fear of being kicked out of the house. Allison and Ronnie’s relationship had played itself out naturally, but his romance with Tim never had.

“Earth to Ben.”

“Sorry. You’ve just given me a lot to think about.”

“Let me ask you this,” Allison said. “What is it you see in Tim? I mean aside from his drool-worthy good looks and the whole high school sweetheart thing. I get that, but is there really more to it?”

Ben had never found this easy to explain. There was so much more to Tim beneath the surface that others didn’t see. The vulnerability on his face when he’d given Ben the painting as a birthday present was a good example. Everyone figured Tim was as proud as he acted, and maybe he often was, but there were other times that he was anything but confident.

Those emotions had been easier to see since their reunion. The sentimental way Tim spoke of Eric and how naturally he’d taken to caring for Chinchilla. Then of course, there was the way Ben felt needed by him, the way Tim’s desire almost overwhelmed him. None of this was obvious to anyone but him.

“I know this is going to sound lame,” Ben said at last, “but when he and I are alone together, he’s different. He needs me. Sometimes I look at him and all I see is that hurt teenager whose parents never treated him like they should. I see that, and I want to help him. Jace is the opposite since he has it so together. I know he loves me, but he was fine before we met and will be now that it’s over.”

“That’s it exactly,” Allison said. “The way you feel about Tim needing you is exactly how Jace feels about you. He’s always been there to support and guide you, and I bet that makes him feel complete. There’s no way he can just shrug that off. If you can’t say good-bye to Tim so easily, then don’t think Jace cares so little about his role in your life.”

Ben’s mind was abuzz with this new perspective. “God, you’re awesome.”

“I know.” Allison smiled before getting back to business. “You can reward my excellence by promising me something.”

“What?”

“Go see Jace tomorrow. Don’t call him, just go over there, look him in the eye, and talk. That’s all.”

Ben nodded.

The next day he began the drive to Jace’s apartment, but then he imagined telling Jace that he had slept with Tim. Jace would probably confess his own infidelities then, which would hurt almost as bad. The entire scenario sounded heart wrenching. Ben just couldn’t face it. Allison would want a full report if he went back home, so instead he drove to Tim’s house.

No one was home, but Ben found the sliding door in the back unlocked. He let himself in after allowing Chinchilla to potty in the yard. Entering the silent home felt like unearthing a tomb that had been sealed for centuries, one full of potential treasures and traps. As much as Ben felt he knew Tim, he always had the nagging sensation that there were details he didn’t know, too many thoughts kept hidden. As Ben explored the house, he knew that he was searching for those answers.

One thing stood out. Despite the house being full of art, none of it was Tim’s. Even in their youth Tim had one of his paintings on his bedroom wall. Maybe this was a hobby he didn’t pursue anymore, but Ben found that hard to believe. Surely he had a studio hidden away somewhere.

Ben explored the house from top to bottom and turned up nothing. While looking out the staircase windows he spotted the garage. Tim never parked his car inside, even though he still fawned over his vehicle like a beloved pet. Ben tried the door on the side of the boxy building, but it was locked. This led to another search. Finally he found a set of keys in a kitchen drawer, and one worked.

The garage was flooded by natural light from a skylight. Except for a clear area in the center where a lone easel stood, the rest of the room was lined with paintings, stacked three or four deep. Tim had been a busy boy!

Ben began looking through his work. Some pieces he recognized from the past; others were new. Tim’s painting had become much more expressive. Some were wild and daring, with shocks of vivid color dominating the canvas. Others were dark, small, and claustrophobic. Is that how Tim felt when he hid from the world? Or were they from his time alone after Eric had died?

Then there was a third style found in only a handful of paintings. These contained elements of realism, usually an object in the center that was surrounded by small wisps of color, making it glow with an etheric light. Ben had never seen anything like it before.

The painting on the easel was done in such style. It featured an older man who looked sickly and tired. This was no doubt Eric, but bathed in the radiance of Tim’s new technique, he looked more like an angel than a dying man.

The sound of Tim’s car pulling into the driveway snapped Ben out of his thoughts. He hurried out the door, which was thankfully on the opposite side of the building, just before he was spotted.

“Wow,” Tim grinned. “Think hard enough about something and it’ll come true.”

“What do you mean?”

Tim took him upstairs to his bedroom and showed him. Afterwards, Ben lay with his head on Tim’s chest, idly finger-tracing the lines and contours that shaped his body.

“What are we?” Ben asked.

“After that? Exhausted.”

“Seriously.”

“Well,” Tim replied, “I’d like to think that you’re my boyfriend.”

An unasked question hung in the air. What about Jace?

“Are you staying in Austin after you graduate?” Ben asked, changing topics.

“I guess so. I don’t really want to go back to Houston. Do you?”