“Yeah, when I first met him. It wasn’t long before he asked me to move in. Don’t give me that look! I can see what you’re thinking.”

“What would you think if anyone told you the same story?” Ben said. “You have to admit that it sounds fishy.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Tim admitted. “You believe me though, right?”

“Why not? The world’s a crazy place.”

“I would have, though.”

“What?”

“Slept with Eric.” Tim gave a nod. “If it would have made him happy, but he never even hinted at that.”

“Did you want to?”

“I don’t know.” Tim started to pull ingredients out of the cupboards. “Sometimes you can’t tell your friends from your lovers, you know what I mean? The line gets kind of blurry. That’s how it was with me and Eric. Maybe if he wasn’t on so many meds he would have wanted something more physical. Maybe not.”

“What was wrong with him?”

“Cancer. Multiple kinds, multiple places.”

“Geez.”

“Yeah.” Tim paused, staring blindly at the items in front of him. “He toughed it out until the end. He never complained, never felt sorry for himself. He had so much spirit. That’s why I can’t sell the place yet. I feel like he’s still here.”

Ben watched him with curiosity. The Tim he knew of old never would have expressed his emotions so openly and without shame. If only he had been this way five years ago.

“Anyway,” Tim forced an upbeat tone into his voice, “What did you have in mind for dinner?”

Ben took stock of the ingredients gathered on the counter. There was pasta, a can of pineapples, a box of rice, a bag of flour and some brown sugar.

“You don’t know how to cook, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” Tim laughed. “But I had to get you here somehow. We could do delivery. Or we could get nostalgic and you could cook for me. I’ll even lay myself out on the couch and pretend my ankle is jacked up.”

“Tim--” Ben’s warning tones matched his expression.

“Too far? Sorry. I just wanted you to see my place, since it’s so connected to my past. You being here really livens the place up. I wouldn’t mind you visiting more often. Bring Jace along if you like. I’d love to meet him.”

Ben eyed him, trying to weigh his sincerity. “All right. I’ll cook, but you have to help. I don’t care how rich you are, everyone should know how make at least one meal.”

Even without many fresh ingredients in the house, they managed to put together a decent pasta sauce made from canned tomatoes and spices they found in the cupboard. Some aged cheese grated over the top, along with a blend of pastas for variety, completed the dish. They ate straight from the pot, laughing about old memories and arguing over misremembered details.

The makeshift meal was, unfortunately, very endearing. As much comfort as Ben took in Jace’s experience and the security that provided, he was aware of something equally gratifying in how much Tim needed from him. Ben began to wish that Tim was an annoyingly talented cook, had acquired his wealth by illicit means, and was still emotionally stunted. Instead he was doing everything right to reawaken Ben’s old feelings.

“I really need to get back to Jace’s,” Ben said while Tim was digging through the freezer for ice cream.

“Aw, you can’t leave. You haven’t even done the dishes yet!” Tim winced from Ben’s glare. “Only kidding. Geez! There is a pool here, you know. We could go for a swim, have a couple of beers. You can even crash here.”

Ben scoffed. “I don’t think so!”

“Your virtue will remain unchallenged, princess, you have my word. There are two guest rooms. Take your pick. I’ll even sleep in the car.”

Ben’s trust in Tim wasn’t the issue. Rather he didn’t trust himself. Ben needed very badly to go home, relieve some sexual tension, and reexamine everything from a healthy distance. After resisting a few more onslaughts of charm, he won and was driven back to Jace’s apartment. Tim killed the ignition after parking, the resulting silence creating pressure in the car. Why was it suddenly so hard to reach over and open the door?

“Thanks for the last couple of days,” Tim said. “I know I went a little overboard, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone like you around.”

“I liked it, too,” Ben said, “but I’m also looking forward to Jace being back tomorrow.”

“Hint taken,” Tim said with good humor. “I’m serious about meeting him though. The man behind the legend and all that.”

“Yeah?

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Maybe it would be fun. The two greatest loves of his life together in one place. What could possibly go wrong, aside from everything. The scientists who split the atom had probably felt the same way. They knew what they were about to do would be dangerous, but like Ben, they were too damn curious to stop themselves.

__________

Chapter 23

The airport buzzed with conversation, people weaving in and out of each other with subconscious precision like worker bees tending their hive. Outside the gate’s security checkpoint, a group of people waited, each fidgeting with anticipation, their minds focused on the arriving passengers. All but Ben, who couldn’t stop thinking of the cell phone, turned off and stowed away in a kitchen drawer. Instinct drove him to hide it, and only later did he recognize how odd this behavior was.

Hugs burst out around him as reunions took place, but he couldn’t stop thinking of the phone. Had he time, he would have driven home and set it out on the counter in plain view or even brought it with him. Anything was better than it being hidden.

“Ben?”

Luggage in tow, Jace was dressed in uniform, wearing just a vest over his dress shirt and tie due to the warm season. His smile was bemused, as if Ben were being silly by staring at him dumbly, before his long arms enveloped him in a hug. The scent of Jace’s aftershave and the murmured words against his neck were like a tonic. With a kiss, Jace broke Tim’s spell, woke Cinderella up from the strange dream of the last couple of days.

“I’m so glad you’re back!”

Ben almost cried, but that would have been even stranger than hiding a cell phone.

When they were home, they made love with desperation. Jace might not have understood why, but he was happy to comply. Afterwards, securely nestled in Jace’s arms, Ben felt safe enough to speak the truth.

“I ran into Tim the other day.”

“Ah,” Jace said, the puzzle pieces falling into place. There was no need for explanation. There was only ever one Tim, and Jace knew Ben’s history well enough to understand how monumental an impact this would have on him. “I don’t suppose he’s horribly overweight? Probably bald and missing a few teeth too, I imagine.”

Ben wanted to laugh, but instead the details poured out, everything except his fear that his feelings for Tim were still alive. Jace would share the same worry, so there was little point in voicing it. There was no arguing or accusations, not from Jace, but he did frown about the cell phone, and sighed at the mention of the theme park visit. For once Jace had little advice to offer. Instead he held Ben tightly, as if knowing this was the more effective strategy.

As they dozed off, Ben’s mind drifted to the distant teenage world he’d once inhabited. All of it seemed so far away. This new Tim, with his money and strange relationship with Eric, didn’t fit into that time and place and was still too new and alien for Ben’s comfort. Jace was reassuringly familiar, a solid part of the last two years that Ben intended to hold onto like flotsam in a storm-ravaged sea.

* * * * *

The cell phone came out of its drawer, but only two days later did Ben consider turning it on. His finger hovered over the power button, as if pressing it would summon a genie from its lamp. Not the big, blue, friendly variety either, but the sort who twisted the meaning of a wish before granting it. Ben hated that Tim was all alone inside his silent mansion, but at least there he didn’t pose a threat to his happily-ever-after with Jace. And so the genie bottle stayed plugged. They were just friends, after all. Friends could go days without speaking, weeks even.