I’d told Klio and Axiothea that I was leaving, and they’d both tried to persuade me to stay. Axiothea was quite happy with the New Concordance. Klio had initially been even less in favor of it than I was, but once she began to study the logic she had been won over by the way Ikaros had integrated Platonic thought all through, and especially with his theory of dynamic ideals, which fit everything she believed. Klio had always disliked Ikaros, but now they began to work together on this project. They spent a lot of time together and became close. She told him about the religions and philosophies she knew about that were unfamiliar to him, and they worked together to reconcile them with everything else.

The New Concordance was generally very popular in the city, though I wasn’t sure how many people even among its adherents really understood it properly.

I announced generally that I was leaving, though it hurt me to go. I had put eight years of my life into this city, this second attempt to do what Plato suggested, and I had a new generation of students growing up. I packed up my few possessions in my cloak: my comb, the notebooks where I was writing this autobiography, and my Botticelli book. I opened it and looked at the angels clustered around the Madonna of the Pomegranates. They were beautiful, and perhaps they were real, but Athene wasn’t one of them. She was too much herself. She was real and imperfect and divine. She had rescued me from a life of unfulfilled emptiness and brought me to the City. I prayed to her now for guidance, and found myself thinking of my old house in the Remnant, and the rich colors of Botticelli’s Autumn on the wall in Florentia, and Ficino’s welcoming smile. I was right to leave. And I’d give this book to Simmea. That felt right too. I closed it and put it into my cloak, and went off to one last day’s teaching. Other people would be taking over my classes the next morning.

“I’ve done you an injustice and I want to apologize,” Ikaros said.

“What?” He had surprised me, coming up behind me after a gymnastics class. I had been teaching the littlest ones how to fall and roll and come up again, while the older ones were practicing with the discus. Then I had escorted the children through the wash-fountain, and handed them over to another teacher for their lute lesson. I was standing alone in the palaestra drying my hair on my kiton. It was autumn, almost olive season, so my damp bare skin was covered in goosebumps. I felt at a disadvantage, and quickly twisted my kiton back on, which left my damp hair dripping down my back. I never seemed to have any dignity around Ikaros. But when I looked at him, he wasn’t looking at me but down at the sand.

“I like you, Maia, and perhaps Providence meant us to be together, but I messed everything up between us at the beginning. I didn’t understand that you were truly saying no. I thought you were making a show of modest protest. Klio has explained to me that you were not. I’m really sorry.”

I glared at him until he looked up at me. He wasn’t laughing at me. He seemed sincere. “Klio had no right—why were you talking to her about me?”

“Because I want to understand why you oppose me so much.”

I was astonished that he was taking me so seriously. “And you’re finally acknowledging that you did something wrong?”

“Yes. I said so. I truly misunderstood all this time.” He sat down on the wall that separated the palaestra from the street.

“I was screaming and struggling!”

“But your body—I thought—Klio has explained to me how I was wrong. It was a long explanation, but I do finally understand now.” He smiled ruefully up at me. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have been talking to her about it, but I’d never in a hundred years have understood without all that. I was wrong. And I have been punished by being deprived of your friendship, and Klio’s friendship, all this time.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared at him.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Klio tells me that in her day, philosophy has discovered that people have two minds, a reasoning mind and an animal mind. Your reasoning mind believes that you have logical disagreements with me, but it is your animal mind driving what you feel. You have to get them into alignment to become godlike. That’s what Plato meant with the metaphor of the charioteer.”

“That is not what Plato meant!” I snapped, infuriated. At that moment, I’d have cheerfully turned him into a fly if I could. There’s nothing more irritating than having somebody misinterpret my intentions and Plato’s at the same time!

He went on. “Your animal mind wants to love me, the way your body wanted to love me that night under the trees. But your rational mind says no to love, because it’s afraid to love, maybe because of what I did. So I want to persuade your rational mind.”

I crossed my arms and leaned back against a pillar. “Go ahead. My rational mind only listens to rational arguments, not all this animal mind nonsense! And I think saying that part of me loves you is the most arrogant thing I’ve ever heard, even from you. And I am not afraid to love!”

“Who do you love?” he asked, rhetorically. “Lysias? No. He’s your friend, you sometimes used to share a bed, but that’s all. There’s no love, no real passion. He has told Lukretia, and she told me.”

I was furious with Lysias. “He had no right—”

Ikaros shrugged. “He feels passion for Lukretia, and she asked him about you.”

I still didn’t understand what was going on with Lysias and Lukretia. I missed him.

There were more women than men in the City of Amazons, but not by a huge degree—the city was about sixty percent female. I’ve heard ridiculous stories in other cities about harems and men being waited on by women in return for sexual favors. This seems to me to say rather more about men’s fantasies than about anything real in Amazonia. There was a slight surplus of single women, but when you consider women who prefer other women, and families that have more than two adult partners, and men who maintained relationships with each other or with several women—Ikaros among them—it didn’t amount to much. Heterosexual men were not a scarce resource. I’d had one or two discreet offers myself since Lysias moved out. It wasn’t sex I was feeling deprived of.

“He shouldn’t have said anything to her about me, and even if he did, she shouldn’t have said anything to you,” I said, as evenly as I could, braiding my damp hair and twisting it up on top of my head. “Is there any point to this scurrilous gossip?”

Ikaros ignored this. “So who do you love? Klio and Axiothea? Friends only, although they love each other. The children? You like them, you care about them, but you don’t really love them. There’s no love in your life, because you have closed off your soul, and that closes out the possibility of God’s love. And that’s why you won’t consider the New Concordance.”

“Nonsense,” I said. “I love all those people. And the kind of love you’re talking about is specifically what Plato tells us to avoid.”

“No it’s not. It’s what he thinks you can use to bring yourself closer to God.” He was leaning forward now, passionate. “It is by loving each other that our souls rise up and grow wings to approach heaven. It’s in the Phaedrus.” He pushed back his hair, which was starting to silver now, making him better-looking than ever. “For a while, before I read Aquinas again and realized I was mistaken, I thought that love was enough. Now I see it isn’t, that we need reason even more. But we do need love.”

“I don’t oppose you because I don’t have enough love. I oppose you because I disagree with you. Because you’re wrong. I started off half-wanting to believe Athene was an angel, and that God was still there. The more I hear your proofs and arguments, the less I’m prepared to consider it.”