I hated when Carlos said stuff like that.  I wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with it.

“Maybe that’s why he came to you last night,” he continued.  “Maybe he was telling you he’s okay.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head.  “He was letting me know he’s still waiting for me.  He’ll be there on the other side, ready to hold my hand.”

Carlos remained quiet for a moment.

“I won’t leave you like he did.”

I scowled at Carlos and got out of bed.

“Given a choice,” I said as I rifled through my bag, “Ethan would have stayed with me.”

A hand settled on my shoulder.

“Let him go.”

“How?” I said, whirling to face him.

My budding anger fled at the sight of Carlos standing before me without a shirt.  His gaze traced my face for a moment, then he stepped close.  My breath caught as his hands curled around my arms.  I could feel each finger pressing firmly into my skin.  With slow deliberateness, he drew me closer until I was flush against his chest.  A tremble passed through him at the contact.  I wasn’t unaffected, either.  I raised my hands to try to brace myself and win some space.

His thumbs skimmed over the skin of my arms, and his gaze fell to my mouth.  Then I knew how he meant for me to let Ethan go.

My pulse leapt, and I struggled to come up with something to distract him.

“Aren’t you supposed to say some stupidly sappy thing to win me over first?”

“I could tell you I’d die for you,” he said in a low, measured voice.  “But that would be cruel.  I would never leave you alone like that.  I’d rather die with you.  So, even at the end, we’re still together.  Do you understand?  I don’t just want to be with you.  I want to be with you forever.”

His hand rose, and his shaking fingers touched my cheek.

“He may be waiting for you on the other side, but I’m here...right now...waiting for you.”

He slowly bent toward me.  My face flushed, and I felt a rush of yearning as his mouth hovered over mine.  Conflicted feelings tore through me as he waited, watching me so closely.  My attraction to Carlos was undeniable, but how could I feel anything like this right now?

I tipped my head down, away from the temptation and stared at my fingers on his bare chest.

“I know you’re waiting.  And my answer hasn’t changed.  I can’t.”  I was still too raw on the inside to consider it.  How many days had it been since I’d buried my friend?  Now Carlos was asking me to let him go.  Some part of me understood what he’d said.  He wasn’t trying to pull Ethan’s memory from me, just my hold on our past.  The hold that kept my chest aching hollowly and kept me from moving forward.

“I’ll still be here, waiting, when you can,” he said softly.

Why did he have to say that?  The gentle press of his lips against my forehead along with the tremble in his hand nearly had me clenching my fists to keep from reaching for him.  Then, he stepped away and left the room.

I groaned and hit the bathroom door in frustration.  Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?  No, not everything.  Feelings.  Emotions.  I hated them.

Grabbing my clothes didn’t erase the feel of Carlos’ skin from my hands.  And shutting myself in the bathroom didn’t stop my wayward thoughts.  I was frustrated with how I felt, the direction of my life, everything.  I didn’t want to be alone anymore.  But more than that, I liked Carlos.  He was an amazing spar partner and easy to be around.  Sure, his detachment might annoy me at times, but mostly because I envied it.  Plus, I knew he wasn’t really detached.  He’d let me feel how he felt toward me.  I braced my hands against the sink and hung my head for a moment.

He wanted me, and I wanted him.  I really did.  And that was the problem.  Wanting Carlos felt like I was cheating on Ethan.  I stepped away from the sink and turned on the shower before stripping down.  The water didn’t wash away the guilt for Ethan or the guilt for turning away Carlos.

By not accepting Carlos’ kiss, I was sure I’d hurt him.  Yeah, he’d said he understood my hesitancy and that he would be patient, but I wondered if he truly understood.  I wanted him to understand.  It wasn’t him.  It wasn’t even Ethan.  It was me.

I sighed and turned off the water and started drying off.  Pulling on clothes over my damp skin was a pain, but I knew I needed to woman up and talk to Carlos and try to explain.  If I didn’t hurry, I’d change my mind.

Just as I yanked open the bathroom door, someone knocked on the outside door.  Panic, not my own, washed over me.  Something was wrong.  I ran to the door.

Gabby stood there, her eyes wide, with Clay right behind her, looking concerned.

“Carlos...” she said.

My heart seemed to seize in my chest.

“Carlos what?”  I grabbed her arms and pulled in her panic.  Clay grunted as she sighed.

“He’s a few miles from here.  He went for a run.  There are seven Urbat closing in on him.  Grey is heading toward Carlos now.”

I glanced behind them and saw the rest of the group in the parking lot, staring off to the south.

“Carlos knows the Urbat are coming and that Grey is, too.  And he knows Grey won’t make it in time.”

“Wait.  What do you mean in time?” I asked, focusing on Gabby once more.

“The Urbat will catch Carlos.”

I saw red.  This wasn’t going to happen.  Not again.

“Phone,” I said, holding out my hand.

Gabby quickly pulled out her phone and gave it to me.  I turned and searched for Jim as I started walking.  Our eyes met.

“Keys.”  I held my hand in the air, and he threw them to me.

“Isabelle, stop,” Winifred said.

“Make one move to stop me, and you all fall down,” I said without pausing my progress.

I opened the door to the SUV and looked at Gabby.

“Call me and direct me.”

I closed the door as I started the engine; then I wheeled the big boat of a vehicle around to the direction they’d been looking.  Gravel flew, and the tires squealed when I hit the blacktop.  A car honked at me because of my wide swing, but I ignored it and accelerated.  Seconds later, the phone rang.  I put it on speaker.

“Where?” I said, talking loudly so she would hear me over the roar of the engine.

“Keep going.  I don’t have a map, so I don’t know how close they are to the road you’re on.”

I went from zero to one hundred in no time and kept it floored.

“You’re almost to Grey,” she said after a few moments of silence.  “And they’ve reached Carlos.”

“Where, Gabby?”  Carlos is strong and fast, I thought to myself.  He’ll be fine.  He isn’t Ethan.

“You’re halfway there.”

My foot was already pressing the pedal to the floor.  Ahead, I saw a bend in the road.

“The road’s curving left,” I said.

“No...that will take you further...”

I eased off the gas.

“Jim’s got a map up on his phone.  Keep following the road.  After the curve, there’s a road to the right.  I think you’ll want to take that.  I won’t know until you’re closer.”

I took the curve going sixty.

“Keep talking, Gabby.”

“The right should be coming up.”

I flew past the faded marker on a gravel road and slammed on the brakes.  The tires made a god-awful noise.  Thankfully, there was no one behind me.  I’d barely come to a jolting stop when I slammed the SUV into reverse and added to the blue smoke hovering in the air.

“Got it,” I said as I cranked the wheel.

“Go, Isabelle,” Gabby said.  “Grey’s almost there, too.”

I gunned it down the road.  Something ahead and to the left caught my attention. Not far into the trees, men and wolves fought, a sphere of piled, thrashing bodies.  I could guess who was at the center.

“Slow down,” Gabby said.  “To your left.”

“Got it.”

I skidded to a stop, threw the SUV into park, and shoved open the door. All movement stopped as both wolves and men turned to watch my approach.  Carlos roared from somewhere under the pile of bodies.  A wolf flew.  Then another.