“Behave.”

What?  Me, behave?  I saw red.  Sparring went out the window, and I attacked.  Who the hell did he think he was to tell me what to do?  My body obeyed every thought, and my moves blurred as I hit, kicked, elbowed, and kneed him.  I used everything.  Some moves connected, and I had the satisfaction of hearing a grunt.  Most moves he deflected.  Within just a few minutes, I was panting and less angry.

I stepped back, signaling an end to the fight, and looked up at Carlos.  His eyes burned with an unnamed emotion.

Eh, maybe I should have behaved.

Before I could apologize, he seized me and tossed me over his shoulder.  The cold wind bit into my overheated legs, and below me, the ground zipped past.  Just as quickly as the movement had started, it stopped; and he set me on my feet.

“What the hell was that?” I asked, pushing my hair out of my face so I could see.

He stood too close, leaning over me in a menacing way.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” he said softly.

I swallowed hard.

“I’m sorry.  I was angry.”

“Yes.  I know.  Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”  I glanced over his shoulder and saw the cars in the distance.  They were no bigger than an inch.  I could barely discern the people milling around them.

He reached out and held my face between his large hands.

“Isabelle, I’m struggling to control my patience with you.  Why were you angry?”

My gaze flew to his, and I snorted.

“Struggling?  You?  I don’t think you even have emotions to struggle with.”

A flood of complete, hopeless wanting hit me so hard my knees buckled.  Carlos didn’t let me fall, though.  He shifted one arm to my waist and held me tight against him.  The contact along with the deluge of want hazed the world around me.  I swam in his need and grew just as desperate with it.

He tipped his head forward, his lips brushing the curve of my ear.

“All of what I feel would frighten you.”

The tickle of his breath against my skin made me shiver.  I pressed closer, needing his touch, wanting his attention.  The compulsion to wrap myself in him, in who he was, robbed me of any other thought.

I brought one hand up to place on his shoulder and turned my head to breathe him in, deeply.  He shuddered and groaned.

Humming with need, I touched my nose to his neck, nuzzling him, drowning in my want.  Gently, I trailed my nose along the column of his neck, exhaling as I went.

He whispered my name.  Then, suddenly, it all disappeared.  The desperation.  The need.  The heat inducing desire.  It all vanished.  Only a lingering ache churned in my stomach.

I froze in Carlos’ embrace and shook with my anger, realizing what he’d done.

He exhaled slowly and with a gentle kiss against the shell of my ear, stepped away.

For a moment, despair pulled at his expression, then that too carefully closed off.  Though I was mad at him, I was angrier with myself.  Ethan had warned me to watch my back.  I hadn’t been watching.

With an irate toss of my hair, I turned away from him and started the walk back.

Enough emotion had been vented that my skin didn’t feel tingly and tight.  I frowned, considering the emotion he’d just shared.  Though I’d felt every ounce of it, I’d absorbed very little.  And it had only been one emotion.  I hadn’t felt whatever else he’d been feeling.  No one felt just one thing.  Ever.  What kind of control did Carlos have?

*    *    *    *

The rest of the drive finished in silence.  Ethan wouldn’t look at me, and I wondered what he thought of the scene he’d witnessed in the field.

When we pulled up in front of the hotel, I moved to stand near Bethi.  She gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything.  Michelle and Emmitt went to check in.  When they came back with four room keys again, I spoke up.

“I need a separate room.”

Michelle glanced at the Elders.

“Why?” Winifred asked.

“I’m going to pass out if I have to keep sparring at this rate.  I need more isolation.”

“She’s right,” Bethi said.  “She can’t help herself.  Isolation protects her.”

Winifred glanced at Grey.  Grey looked at the ground.  I refused to look at Carlos.

“Emmitt, will you check to see if they have another room?” Winifred asked.

It felt like I was committing a crime with the way everyone silently watched me.  Emmitt came back with another room card and handed it over.

“Thank you.”  I looked down at the number.  “If it’s all right, I’ll just keep to my room.”  I didn’t wait for them to approve but grabbed Ethan’s hand.

No one stopped us, and when we were halfway down the hallway, I exhaled in relief.  Ethan didn’t say a word as I unlocked the door and motioned him inside.

Once the door closed behind us though, he turned to study me.

“Talk to me, Z.  What happened?”

I sat down on the bed and looked up at him.

“Turns out he’s not a robot.”

“What made you think he was?”

“He didn’t leak anything, Ethan.  Ever.  He was a complete void.  Even when you’re blocking, I have a sense of what you’re feeling.”

Ethan sat next to me.

“That’s because you know me better than anyone else.”

“That’s just it.”  I set my head gently against his damaged shoulder.  “I know you.  I don’t know him.  I don’t want to be near him anymore.”

“Z, what happened out there?” he asked softly.

I sighed.

“He opened himself and let me feel just one emotion.  It was too much.  It burrowed under my skin, and I felt what he felt.  It was like it was my own emotion.  I couldn’t tell the difference.”

“What did he feel, Z?”

I closed my eyes and turned my head to hide my face against Ethan’s shoulder.

“God, he wants me.”  My stomach tightened at the remembered emotion.

“Lots of guys have wanted you, but you typically don’t kick their butts for it.  You really laid into him, Z.  You were nicer to Brick.”

I cringed, knowing he was right.

“I was so mad.  At the car ride.  At the people chasing us.  At this dumb trip.  At him for being so damn nothing all the time.  I thought coming with them to see if I could get rid of this thing I do was a good idea, but maybe it’s not.  I just want to go.”

He finally wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze.

“This is the right decision for now.  You’re just afraid.”

I lifted my head.

“What?”

“Carlos made you feel something you didn’t want to feel, right?  It freaked you out.”

Yeah, it definitely freaked me out.  I set my head back on Ethan’s shoulder and exhaled heavily.

“Do you need to spar again or are you feeling all right?” he asked.

“I’m good.  Bored after the long drive, but good.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Let’s just watch some TV.”  I didn’t want to leave the room and risk running into Carlos again.

“Sounds good to me.”  He stiffly dropped his arm, stood, and moved to the head of the other bed.  He got comfortable then waved me over with his left arm.  I gave a weak smile and joined him.  I needed Ethan to get better.

I just needed Ethan.

*    *    *    *

The next morning we packed up and joined everyone in the lobby.  I wasn’t looking forward to another day in the car or facing Carlos.  The negative emotions drifting from the group told me no one else wanted to spend another day driving either.

“We thought we might go out for breakfast,” Winifred said as we approached.

“Good,” Ethan said.  “I’m starving.”

There’d been no room service the night before since the hotel didn’t offer any.  And raiding the snack machine in the hall had been unsatisfactory.  It had either been understocked, or the rest of the group had hit it first.  Fruit snacks and chewing gum had done little to curb Ethan’s appetite.

We threw our bags into the car then walked the three blocks to the restaurant.  I enjoyed the stroll and lingered at the back of the group with Ethan.  Despite my intention to ignore Carlos, I found myself studying him.  He walked beside Grey near the front of our procession.  Everyone else chatted, but they were quiet.  I couldn’t help wondering what Carlos was thinking.  Had he been upset by the separate room?  Was he worried I’d shared a bed with Ethan?  Why did I even care?  He had to know we’d want a separate room after he’d made me switch beds.  I mean, I wasn’t about to make Ethan sleep next to Carlos again, though I didn’t think Ethan had actually minded.  Yet, if Ethan wouldn’t share with Carlos and Carlos didn’t want me bunking with Ethan, that meant I’d find myself snuggling with Carlos.