"Well, we can't very well pick up high school guys," I said. "Everyone at PHS knows who we are."

"Then go to Moscow," he said. "College guys only want one thing from girls, and I'm not talking about the answers to tomorrow's homework."

I scanned the parking lot for the Patterson twins but didn't see them. "It's just easier and faster to go to campus. But don't worry. Samantha isn't going to pick up anyone, and I'm giving out a fake name. For the experiment, I'm Juliet."

Logan shook his head some more, looked at me like I was crazy, then gave Samantha's hand a squeeze. "Give me a call when you're done not picking up men." He bent down and gave her a kiss which I pretended not to see, then left for his own car. Samantha watched him go with a sigh.

"Oh, stop being radiant," I told her. "You'll mess up my experiment."

She didn't stop though. She stood there smiling until Molly and Polly walked up. As we drove to campus, I turned around in my seat and explained the whole premise to the twins.

"Samantha generally attracts a lot of attention from guys," I said. "And do you know why that is?"

"Because she looks like a Barbie doll?" Polly asked.

"No," I said, "because she takes care of herself. She dresses nicely, does her hair and makeup, and has an air of confidence about her. She walks with good posture, and looks up and smiles at the world. People can tell she feels good about who she is."

"And she looks like a Barbie doll," Molly said.

"I don't look like a Barbie doll," Samantha said.

"Anyway," I went on, "if you don't project that image, you don't earn the respect of the male species. Men are like birds that way. They're both attracted to shiny things. And to prove this point, we're going to set Samantha at a table without all of those things we just talked about. You'll see that the guys don't give her a second glance." Molly stared back at me skeptically. I could tell she didn't believe me but I continued with my explanation.

"After a few minutes I'm going to sit down a little ways away from Samantha. I have my makeup on, my hair done, and I'm wearing a nice outfit. I'm going to look up and smile at people, projecting an image of self-confidence. We'll see how long it takes until someone sits down and starts up a conversation with me."

Samantha pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car. "And if Chelsea proves her point, you two agree to have makeovers, okay?"

"Okay," Polly said, then shot her sister a look. "Well, you said you'd do it if she could prove her point."

Molly grunted and opened her car door. "It's not going to work. The reason the guys at high school are mean to us has nothing to do with what we wear or how confident we look. They're mean because they're jerks. I'll watch your experiment, but if it doesn't go how you say it will, then PHS is made up of a bunch of troglodytes, and you should agree to shun every guy who's ever called us Roly or Poly." Molly held out her hand. "Agreed?"

Samantha shook her hand. "Agreed." Which just goes to show Samantha had no idea how many people at PHS had said the words Roly and Poly while describing the Patterson twins. If we lost, we would no longer be mingling with a large segment of the football team.

We walked across the parking lot and onto campus, past streams of students and ancient brick buildings. Samantha slipped Logan's sweatshirt over her top as we walked. "Now, since Chelsea isn't really trying to pick up anyone, you guys will need to go rescue her about a minute after anyone sits down next to her. Just walk up and say, 'Hey Juliet, are you going to English class? We don't want to be late.' Then she'll excuse herself, and we'll all head back to the car." Samantha shot me a firm look. "Right?"

"Right," I said.

She nodded knowingly. "Just don't revise the plan if the guy who happens to sit down next to you is cute, okay? I mean I know you're on the lookout for a new guy and that since things went south with Mike it might be tempting to receive attention from some college hottie, but the last thing you need is a twenty-two-year-old grad student hitting on you."

"Don't worry," I said.

Samantha nudged Molly and in a lower voice said, "If it's a cute guy, Chelsea will last approximately two minutes before she gives out her name, phone number, and e-mail address. In that case, you'll have to go in for an intervention and pull her out for her own good."

"Okay," Molly said.

"I am not that bad," I said.

In a voice that was meant to appease me, Samantha said, "Right. And you don't want to make the rest of us sit around on campus while you flirt with some new conquest."

I rolled my eyes at her, because really, I'm not like that.

I turned to Polly when the Northside Marketplace was in sight. "When we get there, Samantha will need to wear your glasses."

Polly touched her frames tentatively. "But I can't see without them."

"It's part of Samantha's outfit. If you wear them, so should she."

Polly grumbled about this and Molly said it was going to be the blonde leading the blind, but in the end Polly handed them over to Samantha. "Oh all right, Molly will just have to tell me what's happening since it will all be blurry to me."

We walked inside the Northside Marketplace, then Molly and Polly sauntered into the dining room to do reconnaissance while Samantha and I went into the restroom. Samantha went in to wash off all of her makeup and pull her hair back. I went to touch up mine and give Samantha last-minute instructions.

"This whole theory will be blown if some guy sits next to you, so try to look extra repulsive. You know, if anyone comes too near, start spitting or something."

Samantha splashed water from the sink onto her face and didn't answer me.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "And what will we do if no one sits down by me? I mean, it's possible that every guy who comes by will already be seeing someone, or shy, or just not interested." My hands nearly shook as I applied my lip gloss. "I should have made you be the pretty one. You're better at flirting."

"Which is why I already have a boyfriend." Samantha patted off her face with paper towels and pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. Uneven strands hung out over one ear. v"Come on, Juliet. You already look irresistible and the sooner we do this, the sooner we can leave."

We left the restroom and she walked toward the restaurant entrance. "Remember to slouch." I called after her. "Don't make eye contact. The world is an awful, gloomy place!"

She didn't look back at me, but several other students did. I slid back into the doorway of the bathroom so they'd all stop staring at me.

After a couple of minutes, I went into the dining room to keep track of Samantha's progress. As I stood in line to order a soda, she slunk off to the tables, looking at the floor, although this might have been because it was hard to see while wearing someone else's glasses. She held out one hand as though perpetually ready to catch herself.

No one paid attention to her as she walked over to a chair. A few people noticed her as she misjudged the distance of the chair and stumbled onto it. Even more people noticed as she grabbed her shin and did this sort of hopping step while repeating, "Youch!"

But no guys walked up, so it was all good.

Finally she took her seat.

A few tables over, Molly shook her head. Polly just squinted in Samantha's direction.