Jim walked passed me and mumbled, “Notice Emmitt doesn’t get a cookie either.”

I smiled and rolled my shoulders.  The ticker continued its repetition, and the symptoms crept in, a tightness in my shoulders and back of my neck.

“Michelle, I can keep an eye on them if you want to go look at the clothes quickly.  You might find something you can change into.  I can send the boys up as soon as they finish.”

I hesitated to leave them.  Everyone here was nice, but we’d only been here a day.  Both boys, still full from lunch, nibbled slowly at their cookies.  Liam watched me closely.

“Is that okay, Liam?” I asked hesitantly.

He turned to look at Nana, and she patiently let him judge her.  Finally, he nodded.

“I’ll be right back if you don’t come up first,” I assured them.

I took the stairs two at a time and arrived at the door out of breath just as Emmitt stepped into the hall.  He gave a small smile as he passed me.  I hesitated in the doorway until he reached the second landing.  I didn’t want an audience when I looked through the clothes.

The bags lined the couch.  I knelt and started digging through them, hurrying to sort everything into piles.  At the bottom of my bag, I found new underwear, a swimsuit, and a sport bra.  Gratitude swamped me.  Clean clothes!

Tromping footsteps announced Liam and Aden’s impending arrival.  I helped them change into shorts then begged them to watch some fuzzy cartoons on the TV while I showered and changed.

Excited, I closed myself into the bathroom, and then realized I had a problem.  The towel rack sat empty.  No shampoo lined the shower ledge.

Nana had graciously provided the clothes, but we still needed a few other basic items.  I went to the bedroom and counted out the remaining cash.  Thanks to the magazines I’d read, I could guess the cost of new shoes, tops, or designer jeans.  But what did second-hand clothes cost?  And what about basics like flour, milk, shampoo, and deodorant?  Uncertain, I plucked two of the one hundred dollar bills from the pile.  She’d brought back six bags of clothes...it had to be close.  I assured the boys I would be right back and ran downstairs.

The lawnmower droned outside.  Both Nana’s and Jim’s doors stood open, but I didn’t see anyone.

Before I could decide if I should knock or just start shouting out names, Nana called from the porch.  Both she and Jim sat on the steps, watching Emmitt mow.

Jim leaned back in the sun, barefoot, shirt off, and wearing jean cutoffs while he grinned at his brother.  Emmitt glanced our way when I walked out the door.  Jim definitely looked good, but he didn’t give my stomach fits of churning delight like Emmitt did.  Thankfully.  One distracting me was enough.

“I wanted to thank you for the clothes, Nana,” I said ignoring both men.  I handed her the money, which she accepted.  “And I was wondering if I could borrow a towel and shampoo for a shower.”

She looked at the bills.  “This is more than what I spent on the clothes.”

At least it wasn’t less.  “It’s okay.  I really appreciate what you did for us.  It saved me from having to—”  I caught myself.  “It would have been boring for Liam and Aden, and I didn’t want to leave them alone.”

She nodded in understanding.  “How about we send Jim to the store to buy some picnic food?  Then, we can go to the lake tomorrow like he suggested.  It’s a public lake but remote enough that not many people go there,” she said before I could decline.

My mind raced through several possibilities.  One being that if we stayed on this property, hidden, Blake might not ever find us.  Sure, I knew he wouldn’t give up, but how would he know to look here?  I liked it here.  I liked Emmitt, his brother, and their neighbor and knew that Liam and Aden did, too.  But, I knew that by tomorrow my pain would be worse.

Staying here meant I needed to find a way to deal with the premonitions.  A random conversation with Jim about stocks, a topic just about everyone my age would naturally avoid, wasn’t the best idea.  If we went to the lake, I could put something on someone’s car window.  Or draw it in the sand where someone would see.  The lake provided more opportunities.

I nodded, and she handed Jim one of the bills.  He laughed mischievously.

“I’ll be right back.”  He went into the house and came back out a minute later wearing sturdy boots and a sleeveless shirt.  Small keys dangled from his little finger.

“Jim...”  The warning in Nana voice was clear as he jumped from the porch.

Emmitt looked up from his mowing as Jim swung a leg over Emmitt’s motorcycle and inserted the key.  The drone of the mower died as the bike’s engine roared to life.  Jim laughed loudly and revived the bike over Emmitt’s shouted words.  Saluting us, Jim took off.

“Nana!” Emmitt called in frustration.  It reminded me of Liam when Aden wouldn’t share a toy.  “You couldn’t stop him?”

Just then, we heard Jim rev the engine again and squeal a tire on the blacktop road.  The sound faded much too quickly.

Nana glanced at me with a small smile.  “Jim was lonely without Emmitt.”

“I can tell,” I said absently, turning to watch Emmitt run a hand through his hair.  His lips moved rapidly, and I guessed if I stood closer, I would hear swearing.  “Did Emmitt miss Jim, though?”

She laughed.  “Let’s get you that towel.”

*    *    *    *

Emmitt finished mowing the backyard and moved to the front before Jim returned.  Pieces of grass stuck to our feet when Liam, Aden, and I ventured out onto the newly cut expanse.  I loved the smell of it.

Nana called to us from the porch and presented the boys with the gloves and ball that Jim had unearthed in the basement.

I helped them fit their small hands into the large gloves as she went to the garage to fetch a rake.  Without a glove to play, too, I grew restless watching the boys toss the ball to each other.

Living in confinement hadn’t been bad if I followed the rules, but it had been boring.  Given our options at that time, boring had been better than David’s harassing presence or Blake’s furious attention when I did something outside of the boundaries he set.  But being bored while the ticker ran in my head just brought my increasing tension into focus and reminded me that the ache would only get worse.

I went to the garage, found a second rake, and helped Nana, stopping occasionally to roll my shoulders.  I caught Liam watching me with a knowing look and was glad Emmitt wasn’t within sight.

The motorcycle roared into the yard while the mower still rumbled in the front.  The boys stopped their play to watch Jim park.  He put his feet down to stop and grinned widely at the boys.

“I’ve got some cool stuff for tomorrow!”

Liam looked at me for permission, but Aden inched his way toward Jim before I even nodded.  Jim stood and swung a leg over the bike, handing a bag to each boy as they crowded close.

I set the rake on the grass and joined them.  Through the plastic bags, I saw boxes for sparklers, smoke bombs, spark fountains, and more.  I didn’t see one food item.  I glanced nervously at Nana.  Jim had blatantly disobeyed.

The mower in the front quieted.  Jim grinned wider, looking down at the boys’ rapt expressions.  I doubted they even knew what they looked at.  Nana set her rake down and strode toward Jim to peer into the bags.

“James Grayson Cole.  That wasn’t your money.”  The growled intensity in Nana’s voice surprised me.  Even the boys looked up at her.

Though Jim’s grin remained on his face, it started to look a little forced.

“I got what we needed, Nana.”  He met her eyes steadily.

I watched the byplay, feeling uncomfortable.  There was an obvious silent message there, but I didn’t know what.  Would they start arguing?

Emmitt walked around the side of the house just then.  My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his damp shirt and glistening skin.  His eyes met mine as he closed the distance, and he gave me a wink.  My stomach did an extra special twirl.  On top of my nervousness, it didn’t feel too good.