"Yes, you should." Riley started evenly. "But jeez, if you heard about some of the idiotic things I did and said to Jack you would wonder why he stayed with me. Nothing's perfect. Leave Robbie to calm down. If he's anything like Jack, all calm on the surface but heat underneath, then his temper will be hot. You let him get his reaction out of the way, and then you can use the patented Eli charm to make him see you are not a complete loser."

The two men sat in silence for a while.

"Do you remember that time you rappelled from the dorm roof using the telephone cable?" Eli asked. He wanted to settle the terror inside him that he had fucked up this whole Robbie thing big time. College memories, before Lexie/Riley and before he crashed the damn car in the lake, were safe ones.

Riley didn't look surprised by the change in direction. They had exchanged a few stories like this one since Eli had gotten back in touch. Riley flexed his hand and winced.

"I remember the sprained wrist," he answered. "And the look on Booker's face when I landed on him."

"I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself." Eli laughed.

"I think Booker actually peed himself."

"Ri?"

"Uh huh?"

"You're happy with Jack, aren't you? I mean, it's obvious how happy you are. I wasn't really meaning that as a question. When did you know you were in love with him?"

"Really? You mean the actual time I felt like there was something more than irritability and sex between us?" Eli nodded at the question. "I don't know. Not really. I was heartless to start off. I remember feeling like I had pulled off the greatest business transaction of my life and feeling proud of myself when I convinced him to marry me. Then suddenly I wasn't so proud. Maybe it was the horses. Or the Double D. Or his sister Beth. Sometimes I wish I could pinpoint the absolute time."

"The time matters to you?" Eli asked.

"No, not really. All that matters is that every time I see him now I fall in love with him all over again."

"What if I told you something that is going to sound real crazy."

"You mean like every other time you open your mouth?" Riley smiled.

"It's been such a short time but I want Robbie. No, I want more than that. I need Robbie. If having cancer has taught me one thing it's that you don't fuck around with the life you have."

"And how does Robbie feel? Have you told him this?" Riley reached again to still the hand that was pressed to Eli's chest, stopping it from moving.

"Before or after I reduced the potential of anything at all to a heaping pile of horse shit? No."

"So you tell him. In the morning. Now, it's past midnight and you get to bed, get some sleep, and stop worrying."

"Yes, Mom." Eli smirked.

"Ass." Riley released his touch and left the kitchen with a waved 'later'.

Eli sat for a while. Nursing his warm beer with no real intention of drinking it, he looked up and out of the window and over to the barn. Robbie was in there, probably pissed as hell and feeling like Eli had treated him like shit. He stood and even took a step toward the door. Some nebulous thought in his head was telling him to go over now and sort this out. Thing is, there was really nothing to sort out. Eli was a loser and Robbie had seen his true colors. Kind of inevitable really.

Why the hell hadn't he thought about what was happening? It wasn't like he needed the money from Michael and he could say what he damned well wanted to the man who needed his photos. Suddenly his skin felt too tight and scratchy, and irritated with himself, he made sure the door was locked and then turned off the light.

Bed sounded good. He just hoped he could sleep.

When he woke he knew Riley would have left for the office, Hayley would be at school, and Jack and Robbie were likely in a far field working the horses.

He'd never felt so lonely.

CHAPTER 14

With Hayley at a friend's birthday it was only Riley who accompanied Jack to the second and final day of Jack's part of the Rodeo. Today was prize-giving day and proved to be more hectic than even the hours they had spent there before. Riley was proud of the man who so confidently appraised horses and riders. Other men regarded his husband with a combination of awe and some very definite lust. Who wouldn't look at Jack with lust; it was something Riley did every damn day. He amused himself with a combination of watching Jack and the other cowboys and cowgirls who streamed from one event to the other. The barrel racing may well be the part of the rodeo Jack was judging, but to be honest Riley was drawn to the bull riding.

It was something about the power in the rider's arms and legs, the strength of muscles that tensed and released with the violent movements of the bull they were riding. The clowns were bright and welcome when a participant hit dirt and the bulls were big and nasty and dangerous. A couple of times Riley noticed Austin Hemmings in the periphery and wondered if the guy was here to compete. The irrationally jealous part of Riley wanted Austin to last no more than two seconds on the bull's back before landing on his ass in the dirt. Safely of course. No broken bones or goring. Riley wasn't entirely evil in his thoughts.

Austin was with another cowboy, a tall skinny guy with spiky blond hair, a skin problem, and an attitude. The hair and skin Riley had seen when the other guy knocked into him, up close and personal, in the line for burgers. The attitude was obvious from tall-and-skinny staring right at Riley with a sneer of contempt. There was something in those eyes that threatened violence and the scent of beer on the guy's breath hit Riley like a brick. Riley hoped to God the man wasn't bull riding or going anywhere near any livestock in this rodeo; he looked frustrated and angry and just plain drunk.

"See you met my friend, Hayes."

Riley deliberately looked at the retreating skinny guy and then back to the one person he was trying to avoid. Austin freaking Hemmings.

"Friend?" Riley said. He immediately regretted saying anything as Austin's eyes lit up with an unholy glee.

"Another one of Jack's exes," Austin said. "Surprised Jack didn't make you a list."

Riley shrugged. He wanted to say something quick and witty and profound. Hell, what he really wanted to do was pound Austin into the dirt.

"Not bothered about the past," he said. That was his way of cutting Austin dead. He tipped his hat and walked away without looking back, although he could feel the weight of Austin's stare. Quite apart from circling Jack and pissing in a circle around him there was only one way he could think of reinforcing his claim on his husband. Failing full-blown public sex he settled for eating his burger and then finding Jack for a kiss or a hug or something.