"What if she's actually mine? What will I do?" Riley was looking to Jack for reassurance. For just the right words that would make this all seem okay. Jack's heart clenched and emotion choked his throat. Inside, he'd always known one day something from Riley's past would come back and kick them both to the curb. Something from his old HayesOil days, something in Jeff's death, anything but a freaking child born to an ex. Still, it didn't change how Jack felt, and his instant reaction was one of "we'll get through this".
"We," Jack offered simply. He emphasized the single word with a gentle poke to Riley's broad chest. "You mean what will we do?"
"I don't…" Riley began and then stopped, unable to meet Jack's gaze. Jack wasn't going to waste time wondering what space Riley was disappearing into. He needed cold hard facts to make decisions here. "I don't know what is going to happen here. I don't know anything. Eden just said I need to get home."
"Let's go." Jack injected as much encouragement into his voice as he could find, and leaving Riley sitting in numb and silent shock, he began to pack.
* * * *
The HayesOil jet was stationary at the end of the island's runway. Jack couldn't help but remember another time he had walked to the jet with similar shock inside him. That time he had been on his way to an arranged marriage with a man who was blackmailing him. This time he was trying to filter everything dumped on Riley in a freaking phone call, and it wasn't easy. Riley was deadly quiet, and Jack didn't know what to say. His husband was lost in thought and looking more and more distressed as time passed. Jack didn't know what would be best to do, but he didn't want to lose Riley to memories. Jack was a man who made decisions on evidence, and a small part of him considered the matter something he couldn't concentrate on until they were aware of all the facts. They boarded in silence, Riley obviously deep in thought, and were in the air in ten minutes and on their way back home.
"Shit," Riley swore as he undid his belt and started pacing the stark interior of the jet. Jack removed his own belt and leaned forward in his seat. He waited. Riley had every right to get everything out of his system, and as much as Jack wanted to stop Riley from losing it, he stopped himself from interfering. Jack expected more swearing and blustering and was completely blown away when all Riley did was slump down in the seat opposite his and bury his head in his hands. "I'm really sorry." Riley's emotions were so close to the surface Jack could feel every single one of them.
"Stop apologizing," he ordered. He hated it when
Riley felt like he needed to keep saying sorry.
"Sorry," Riley instantly said, and then smiled
briefly at his reaction. "Okay, I won't do any more
apologizing," he added, and then he sat upright and stared
straight at Jack.
"How are you feeling?" Jack asked. Whether his husband would be able to vocalize how he was feeling was another matter altogether. Riley Campbell-Hayes was good
at the art of saying nothing and internalizing everything. "Pissed. Sad. Scared," Riley answered after a brief
pause. Well, a start, Jack thought. Riley appeared to have
most of the natural emotions after a shock in one hit. "We
need to talk." Riley leaned forward in the seat and looked
more serious and earnest than Jack had ever seen him. "I've
been thinking, just from the instant reaction of it all. It's
way more than you signed on for. If she's mine—if she's a
Hayes—or hell, even if she isn't mine, but she's alone? I
couldn't turn her away."
"I know you couldn't, Ri." Compassion filled Jack
as he saw the decisions flying across Riley's expression.
His husband could no more turn away a child than Jack
could.
"So what I wanted to say is…" Riley sighed, and
reached for Jack's hand, which he gripped tightly. "I won't
hold you to anything, and I would understand if you
decided an instant child—a daughter—was too much." The
words came out in a rush of emotion, and it took a few
seconds for Jack to filter through the meaning of what
Riley was saying. When he did finally understand what
Riley was saying, Jack didn't know what to feel first—
pissed that Riley thought Jack would back off or proud that Riley wasn't questioning this child's place somewhere in his own life. Pride won over, along with a healthy dose of
affection.
"Okay," Jack said carefully. He mimicked Riley's
stance and leaned forward. "Come closer so I can hit you
for being stupid. Do you think that would that help?" "Hit me?" Shock appeared to push through the
glassy-eyed sincerity Riley had been trying for. He glanced
down where Jack's hands were resting on the arms of the
seat and then back up at Jack. This time his expression held
uncertainty.
"I'm going to say this once," Jack said carefully.
"You are my husband, and what happens to you, happens to
me. Does that make it clear?"
Riley nodded. "It does. I'm just so tired."
"We haven't slept for a while. We're gonna need
clear heads back home so maybe we should try and get
some rest?"
"I don't think I can." Riley held himself stiffly as
Jack tugged on his hand and took him to the couch at the
back of the jet. It was dark and soft and incredibly
comfortable and dead opposite a huge flat screen TV. Jack
flicked to a music channel, and the two men sat side by
side. Within minutes, Riley was leaning in against Jack and
had closed his eyes in slumber.
Jack didn't join him in sleep for a while. His brain