FJÄLLBACKA 1871

‘So how are things going for you out there on the island? It must be terribly lonely.’ Dagmar gave Emelie and Karl a piercing look as they sat stiffly on the loveseat across from her. The delicate little coffee cup looked so out of place in Karl’s rough hand, but Emelie managed to hold it with a certain elegance as she sipped at the hot drink.

‘How could it be otherwise?’ replied Karl, without looking at Emelie. ‘Lighthouses are always in isolated locations. But we’re doing fine. And I’m sure you know that, don’t you?’

Emelie was embarrassed. She thought Karl was speaking too brusquely to Dagmar, who was his aunt, after all. Emelie had been taught to show respect for her elders, and the minute she met Dagmar, she instinctively liked this woman. And besides, of all people, Dagmar ought to understand her situation, because she too had been married to a lighthouse keeper. Her husband, Karl’s uncle, had held that job for many years. While Karl’s father had been expected to inherit and run the family farm, his younger brother had been given free rein to choose his own path. Karl’s uncle had been his hero and the one who inspired him to turn to the sea and to lighthouses for his living. During the period when he was still talking to her, Karl had once told Emelie about this. But now Karl’s uncle Allan was dead, and Dagmar lived alone in a little house next to Brand Park in Fjällbacka.

‘Of course I know what it’s like,’ said Dagmar. ‘And you knew what you were getting into after hearing Allan’s stories. The question is whether Emelie knew.’

‘She’s my wife, so she has no say in the matter.’

Emelie again felt embarrassed by her husband’s behaviour, and tears began welling up in her eyes. But Dagmar merely raised her eyebrows in response to Karl’s remark.

‘I heard from the pastor that you’re a very good housekeeper,’ she said, turning to Emelie.

‘Thank you. I’m glad he thinks so,’ said Emelie quietly, bowing her head to hide her blush. She took another sip of coffee, savouring the taste of it. It was seldom that she could enjoy a good, strong cup of coffee. Karl and Julian usually bought very little of that particular staple when they were in Fjällbacka. They’d rather spend their money at Abela’s tavern, she thought bitterly.

‘How’s it going with the man who is helping you out? Is he a good worker who does a decent job? We had all sorts of different types helping us, Allan and I. Some of them weren’t much good.’

‘He does a fine job,’ said Karl, setting his cup down on the saucer so hard that it rattled. ‘Isn’t that so, Emelie?’

‘Yes,’ she murmured, although she didn’t dare look at Dagmar.

‘How did you happen to find him, Karl? I hope he was recommended to you, because you can never trust adverts in the newspapers.’

‘Julian came with excellent references, and he quickly proved himself worthy of the praise.’

Emelie looked at her husband in surprise. Karl and Julian had worked together for years on a lightship. That was something she’d learned when she overheard them talking about it. Why didn’t he mention that now? She pictured Julian’s glowering eyes. His hatred that had grown worse and worse, and she shuddered at the thought of it. All of a sudden she noticed that Dagmar was looking at her.

‘So you have an appointment to see Dr Albrektson today, is that right?’ she said.

Emelie nodded. ‘I’m going to see him a little later. So he can make sure that everything is fine with the baby boy. Or girl.’

‘Looks to me like it’s a boy,’ said Dagmar, and there was genuine warmth in her eyes as she gazed at the rounded swell of Emelie’s stomach.

‘Do you have any children? Karl didn’t tell me,’ said Emelie. She wasn’t shy about the attention her pregnancy attracted, and she was eager to talk about the miracle happening inside of her body, especially with someone who had been through the same experience. But she instantly received a sharp poke in the side.

‘Don’t be so nosy,’ Karl snapped.

Dagmar waved aside his admonishment. But her eyes were sad as she replied. ‘Three times I carried the same joy that you now carry. But each time the good Lord had other plans. All of my babies are up there in heaven.’ She looked up, and in spite of her sorrow, she seemed confident in her belief that God knew best.

‘I’m sorry, I …’ Emelie didn’t know what to say. She was dismayed that she hadn’t known.

‘That’s all right, my dear,’ said Dagmar. Impulsively she leaned forward and placed her hand on Emelie’s.

This kind gesture, the first in such a long time, almost made Emelie burst into tears. But because of Karl’s blatantly scornful stare she controlled herself. The three of them sat in silence for a while. Emelie could feel the elderly woman’s gaze boring into her, as if she could see the chaos and darkness. Dagmar didn’t remove her hand, which was thin and sinewy and marked by years of hard work. But Emelie thought it was beautiful – just as beautiful as the woman’s narrow face, with all its furrows and wrinkles, revealing a well-lived life that had been filled with love. Emelie suspected that Dagmar’s grey hair, which was pulled back in a tight bun, would still fall in lovely, thick tresses to her waist when she took out the hairpins.

‘Since you don’t know your way around here, I was thinking of going with you to see the doctor,’ said Dagmar at last, lifting her hand from Emelie’s.

Karl immediately voiced his objection.

‘I can do that. I know where his office is. There’s no need for you to trouble yourself.’

‘It’s no trouble.’ Dagmar gave Karl a stern look. Emelie saw that some sort of power struggle was playing out between them, and finally Karl gave in.

‘All right, if you insist,’ he said, setting down the dainty china cup. ‘I can take care of some more important matters in the meantime.’

‘Yes, you do that,’ said Dagmar, continuing to stare at him without blinking. ‘We’ll be gone about an hour, and then you can meet us back here. Because I assume you don’t intend to do the grocery shopping without your wife, do you?’

It was formulated as a question, but Karl correctly took it to be an order, and he replied with a slight shake of his head.

‘All right then.’ Dagmar got up and motioned for Emelie to follow her. ‘Let’s go, you and I, so we won’t be late. And we’ll let Karl tend to his own business.’

Emelie didn’t dare look at her husband. He had lost the tug-of-war, and she knew that she would pay for it later. But as she followed Dagmar out to the street and headed towards the marketplace, she pushed all such thoughts aside. She wanted to enjoy the moment, no matter how high the price might be. She stumbled on a cobblestone, and Dagmar’s hand instantly gripped her arm. Feeling safe, Emelie leaned on her for support.

16

‘Any word from Patrik and Gösta?’ Paula asked as she paused outside Annika’s door.

‘No, not yet,’ said Annika. She started to say something else, but Paula was already on her way to the kitchen, eager for some coffee in a clean cup after spending all morning in the filthy homes of drug addicts. Just to be safe, she nipped into the toilet to wash her hands thoroughly. When she turned around, Martin was waiting his turn.

‘Great minds think alike,’ he said with a laugh.

Paula dried her hands and stepped aside to make room for him at the sink.

‘Shall I pour you a cup too?’ she asked over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen.

‘Sure, thanks,’ he shouted over the sound of the water gushing from the tap.

The coffee pot was empty, but the hotplate underneath was red-hot. Paula swore, switched off the coffeemaker, and began scrubbing the black residue in the bottom of the pot.