And just like that, I was a sobbing mess.
Dammit! The hormone changes that now seemed to rule my emotions with an iron fist showed no mercy, and I was often left reeling between being overjoyed one moment and sobbing in self-pitying misery the next.
The crying jag lasted several minutes before I could pull myself together and wash my face again. My eyes were puffy, my cheeks red and blotchy, and my shorts didn’t fit.
My eyes swam with tears again. I took a deep breath, swallowing them down. One emotional breakdown was enough before I had my coffee. Thank God the morning sickness didn’t include coffee in the list of things that suddenly made me ill.
When I entered the kitchen, wearing a pair of knit shorts with a stretchy waistband, I saw that Kade was already up as well.
And that’s as far as my thought process got.
He’d used my shower, apparently, but as usual, had dressed in just jeans. He stood at the kitchen counter with his back to me, pouring a cup of coffee. His hair was still damp and curled slightly at the ends. The muscles in his back flexed and rippled as he moved, the scars less visible in the soft glow of morning light filtering through the windows.
It seemed pregnancy also had an effect on my libido, because I had to curl my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms, to keep from licking Kade like an ice-cream cone.
He turned around and I was treated to the lovely view of Kade’s chest. The long scar that ran diagonally across his chest was overshadowed by two new scars, the ones from the bullets that had nearly killed him.
My hormones fled at the reminder and a wave of sadness combined with thankfulness washed over me. Even if we weren’t together, I was so grateful Kade was alive.
Kade took a sip of his coffee as he watched me. He didn’t seem startled that I was there and I thought he must have heard me retching in the bathroom. It was kind of hard to miss.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically.
Just then, the doorbell rang, which was odd. It wasn’t like I got company, other than when Mrs. Johnson had brought over the casserole.
The reaction in Kade was immediate. He had set down the coffee and had his gun in his hand before I’d even turned to start toward the door.
“I’ll get it,” he said, wrapping a hand around my arm.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like a killer is going to ring the doorbell before he shoots me,” I said.
“Yes, that’s exactly what he’d do,” Kade shot back. “For precisely that reason. You’re not expecting it.”
I swallowed. Okay, he had a point, and really, he would know. While I hadn’t cared too much last night about whatever trouble had brought Kade to my door, this morning I was acutely aware that I wasn’t just protecting myself but also the little bump that made my shorts too tight.
I watched as Kade moved silently to the door, gun held at the ready, then he peered ever so slightly through the window. The tension in his body eased and I relaxed, releasing the breath I’d been holding.
Kade turned, an eyebrow raised sardonically as he mockingly called, “Honey! It’s for you.”
Frowning, I headed for the door, just as Kade opened it on a very surprised Matt.
“It’s the quarterback,” Kade said with a sneer. “And I’m sure he’s not here to see me.” He moved out of the way as I came to the door.
“Matt,” I greeted him, feeling my face get hot at what I was sure he had assumed, especially with Kade only half dressed. “I . . . I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
Matt’s jaw was locked tight and his gaze was still on Kade, who I could feel behind me. He’d retreated, but not far, and I could imagine the look he was giving Matt.
“After last night, I was worried about you,” Matt said stiffly. “Thought I’d drop by this morning, make sure you were okay.”
“That’s so sweet,” I said, forcing a smile. “I appreciate you checking on me, but I’m fine.” My embarrassment was making a flush crawl up my neck. “Was there anything else?” I asked, trying to be polite despite wanting the floor to open and swallow me whole.
“I guess not,” Matt said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Just . . . be careful.” Matt’s gaze stared daggers at Kade behind me and I noticed his eyes dropping to the scars decorating Kade’s chest. His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed and I guessed he was rethinking the wisdom of getting into a confrontation with Kade.
“I will,” I said. “Thanks again.”
Matt gave a curt nod, then headed back to his truck. I shut the door with a sigh. Not exactly the impression I’d wanted to give Matt, but it couldn’t be helped. Now to deal with Kade.
I decided I needed coffee before I took on the task of dislodging Kade from my home, and bypassed him as I moved into the kitchen and filled a mug for myself.
“Did you sleep all right?” I asked, thinking how weird it was to be making small talk with Kade and trying not to stare at his bare chest. My hormones started jumping up and down again when I caught a whiff of his aftershave.
“Sure,” Kade replied, his tone noncommittal.
And that was it for small talk. Deciding I needed some fresh air, I grabbed a blanket off the couch and went out onto the back porch. I loved sitting out there in the mornings. It was quiet and I could be outside without having to deal with the bugs. I sat down on the wicker couch, which had seen better days, tucking my feet beneath me and covering my legs with the blanket. The morning was a little chilly.
To my surprise, Kade stepped out, too, pulling a gray Henley over his head. I watched the muscles in his chest move as he dressed, briefly mourning the loss of the view, then he was taking the seat beside me. I inhaled deeply, but tried not to make it too obvious that I was smelling him, which would just be mortifying if he knew.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I shook my head, blowing on my coffee to cool it before I took a sip. “Not right now. I’ll make something in a little while, if you want.”
Two squirrels were gathering nuts in the yard, chattering away at one another as they scampered up one of the trees. Birds were twittering overhead and a slight breeze made the leaves rustle. It was a beautiful, peaceful country morning, and I was acutely aware of Kade sitting so close that my arm brushed his when I raised my mug to my lips.
“Why did you come here?” Kade asked.
I watched the squirrels as I answered. “It seemed like the right thing to do. If I’d stayed in Indy, it wouldn’t have been fair to Blane. Both of us needed to move on. I know people here, have a history here. I thought it’d be a good place to raise—” The words our baby stuck in my throat. I swallowed, then took another sip of coffee.
“So let me ask you now,” I said after a moment. “Why did you come here?”
Kade breathed a sigh, reaching an arm back to rest on the back of the couch. His sleeve brushed the back of my neck, causing the hairs there to stand on end. I was so acutely aware of him, it was almost painful.
“To talk you into marrying Blane.”
Well, at least he was being honest, though I couldn’t pretend those words didn’t bring a lump to my throat. He’d rather me marry Blane, have our child raised by his brother, than be with me himself?
When I knew I could talk without my voice breaking, I said, “So is that why you were being such an asshole to me last night in the bar?” Kade didn’t respond, which I took to mean I’d guessed correctly. I should’ve known. He’d always been nastiest to me when he was trying to push me away. I gave a weary sigh. “There’s nothing you can say.”
“How about if I told you that Keaston’s likely to kill you if you don’t?”
Senator Keaston. I should’ve known I hadn’t heard the last of him.
“He should be happy,” I said. “I’m out of Blane’s life for good. You’d think he’d be ecstatic.”