This wasn't some master plan I had been plotting.
This was what I was told to do.
But even you have to see it was the only way.
I didn't want to leave.
And I know you only said it because I was upset about Glenn and crying all over you- but you saying you cared about me meant something to me. I care about you too. You showed me a little bit of what life could be like when I finally let go of my mom and Lex and Glenn. You made me believe that I might have something to live for after all. So that is what I am trying to do- making sure that we all go on living through this.
I'll be okay.
Save Shoot.
Get gone too.
Thank you for everything.
Alex
Someone else was in on it. I flew at my laptop, waking it up, and opening up the dark net Alex had left open. The post came up and I refreshed it, scrolling down until I found the comment.
Jstorm.
Whoever the new player was, they were sticking their fucking nose where it didn't belong. It wasn't their place to tell her to leave me. I could protect her. Now she was out there somewhere on her own.
She was smart. She was tech savvy.
But she didn't know shit about disappearing. About being off the grid.
And she damn sure didn't know what the fuck to do if she ever thought someone was onto her.
Maybe this Jstorm person would help her. Get her on her feet somewhere safe before he stuck his nose into everything and pissed off Lex.
But there was an equally good chance of that not happening. Of Alex being all on her own. And all it would take would be one misstep for Lex to find her.
I had to fuckin' find her first.
I grabbed my gun, tucking it into my jeans, then went back outside, ignoring the grocery bags as I looked around.
I saw her foot prints in the moist dirt on the side of the house, leading all the way down the drive. Yet more proof of how unprepared she was. Why run on the dirt and leave prints when you could run on the gravel and be a ghost?
God damn it.
I followed them down the road, seeing them taper off so I crossed the pavement to the other side next to a downed stop sign and saw them pick up again, heading into the woods. The woods weren't an altogether bad idea. If you knew where you were going. If you knew what the fuck to do if you came across a bear.
Both things that I was sure Alex knew nothing about. Her prints got deep beside a tree stump, like she stopped there. So I did too. Seeing a white garbage bag stuck under the tree. Something was there. Wrapped up in the bag. Something Alex took with her. Something this Jstorm person must have put there for her. Meaning Jstorm knew where she was living temporarily. They knew they could talk her into leaving. They gave her something.
What?
Supplies.
Money?
Survival gear?
Either was good. Either meant she had a better chance of getting gone.
I wondered how long she had been on her feet. If there was some other plan. If she was supposed to get her supplies and meet a cab or bus or train somewhere? Was she still in the woods?
There were too many leads and not enough time to follow any of them down before she was gone for good.
I got back onto my feet, following the footprints until they disappeared into the dead-leaf underbrush.
Fuck.
I made my way back to the house, going straight to my computer and bringing up the post, addressing the stupid fuck Jstorm.
Hope you're happy, fucker. You just signed her death certificate.
Maybe it was a little childish. Maybe Jstorm would never see it. But it needed to be said. It needed to be put out there. She wasn't safe on her own. If something happened to her, I wanted Jstorm to know it was on his head.
There was a refreshing of the page and a reply was made on my comment.
She follows instructions, she's safe. Worry about Shooter and yourself. I'm dealing with Lex.
I didn't bother to reply. If they were that cocky, they were stupid. If they were stupid, there was no reason to argue with them. It would lead nowhere.
I sat there, watching the afternoon lead way to evening and the darkness blanketing the world
She could still be out there. In the woods. At night.
It was cold at night.
She didn't even have a fuckin' jacket.
My phone rang in my pocket and I fumbled for it with a surge of hope. She had my number. The burner wasn't left behind. It hadn't escaped my notice that neither was the gun. She had it, she had my number. If she really found herself in a bad place, she would call.
“Yo.”
“Breaker...” Lex's slimy voice said into my ear, making the hope plummet with a sickening crash.
“Lex,” I said, trying to force my voice to be casual. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was off. Everything was going according to his plan. I was just his puppet like he wanted me to be.
“How's my girl?”
“She eats like a teenage boy,” I supplied, hedging. It was true. It would ring true to his keen ears.
“Well, you won't have to worry about feeding her for long. I will be back the day after tomorrow and I need you to bring her to my house.”
His house.
Fuck.
God damn it.
How the hell was I going to get myself out of this?
“Alright, Lex. What time?”
“Breaker, my man, you sound stressed.”
“Anxious to get onto my next job.” Killing your sorry ass. For Alex. And Shoot. Any myself.
“I understand. As I said, just another day and a half. Seven in the evening should work for me.”
“Right,” I said, shaking my head at myself.
Janitor. Used car salesman. Guinea pig trainer. I shoulda made a career change by the time I turned thirty. Before it was already too late.
“You will drop the girl and get your friend in trade.”
“Wonderful.”
“And the rest of your money, of course.”
Money I had every intention of using for fireplace kindling. I didn't want his fuckin' money.
“Right.”
“See you then.
“Yep.”
I threw the phone on the couch, raking my hands down my face, trying to think of any way out of the shitstorm of a situation.
I didn't show up, Shoot died.
I did show up without Alex, we would probably both die.
But at least we would do it together.
Seemed like an almost fitting end to two lifetime criminals. Two people no one knew well enough to miss. Except for Paine and maybe Alex if she ever learned what happened.
She said she cared.
She said I gave her a reason to believe life was worth living.
Fuckin' A.
It wasn't just that she was an important piece on the chessboard we were playing with Lex. It wasn't just that she was an innocent thinking she could make it on her own like a five year old running away from home.
I just... I fuckin' wanted her back.
If I lived through the week, I wanted her there with me, getting the fuck out of this shit town once and for all and building a new life. I wanted her there. In my bed. Across from me eating dinner, trying to bite her tongue about how much more comfortable it would be to eat in bed. Laughing with me and Shoot over some stupid comedy.
If I lived, she had somehow become part of my future plans.
And I didn't even know where the fuck she was.