At first I hear nothing, but then his voice. Talking to the cat. I could just slide it under the door, but he’s fast and he’ll probably catch me. I should try again later. I’m just about to turn around when the door flies open.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Saige?”

Busted.

 

Ten

 

I take the sunglasses off and pull down the hood.

“I came to give you this. Just read it. That’s all.” I start to pivot on my heel, but he lunges out and grabs my arm, yanking me into the apartment and locking the door behind us. I can feel him vibrating with anger and… something else.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” he says, stepping away from me and tearing his hands through his hair. “Everywhere I look, there you are. I see you everywhere. I can’t get you out of my mind. You’re driving me absolutely fucking crazy and I can’t take it.” He’s pacing around and I sense I’ve come just in the middle of him having a crisis. Guess I have good timing.

I don’t say anything as he mutters to himself. Leo is perched on the back of the couch, his tail swishing back and forth, watching Sylas as if he’s wondering why his human is behaving like this.

“You know why I can’t leave you alone,” I say, and he stops.

“I know, I know, because of Lizzy. I really wish you would stop reminding me.”

Now or never.

“It’s not just her. I love you. I always did. I lied when I said I didn’t know. I love you, Sylas. In spite of all this other shit.” His mouth parts just a little and I want to throw myself at him, but we need to talk this out. We’re too quick to use sex so we don’t have to.

“How can I believe you?” he asks, throwing his hands up.

“Read this,” I say, holding up the envelope and then putting it on his kitchen counter. “It’s everything. If you don’t believe me after that, then fine. I won’t bother you about this again. But we’re still going to be in each other’s lives. No matter what.” I can’t even think about what will happen if he doesn’t want me. I can’t let myself go there.

The ball is in his court.

“We were happy together, Sylas. No matter what brought us together, we were happy and I loved you. I love you.” Biting my bottom lip so I won’t cry, I turn around and leave.

He lets me go.

I’m distracted the rest of the day, wondering if Sylas has read the letter or burned it, and if he did read it, what did he think?

I never used to be this kind of girl, and I hate it a little bit. No guy has ever twisted up my head so much, but then again, there’s only one Sylas.

I refuse to let myself contact him. That’s where I absolutely draw the line. But I do call Lo and tell her I basically laid everything on the line with him. I can at least tell her that. She gives me encouragement and says that if he doesn’t accept it, then he’s an idiot and I wouldn’t want to be with him anyway. I roll my eyes, but it’s good to talk to her about it anyway.

Dad calls me just as I walk through the door after a long and distracted day. I pick up the call, but then I see Sylas is sitting on my couch.

“Dad? Uh, yeah, let me call you back. Bye.” I hang up before he can say anything else and my phone almost slips from my grip. I turn it off.

“What are you doing here?” My voice is a whisper. I set my bags down and walk toward him. He’s dressed casual, in a ripped t-shirt and jeans.

T-shirt? He’s wearing a t-shirt. He wore a t-shirt out in public, showing his tattoos. I’m as stunned by that as I am by him being here, in my house.

“I read your letter,” he says, leaning forward and placing his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together.

“And?” I prompt, but it comes out as a squeak. I really wish I could get control of myself, but I’m shaking all over.

He looks up at me.

“I accepted the job. With your father.”

I need to sit down. Going to the other end of the couch, I sink into it.

“Why?”

He chuckles.

“Because it’s my only option, isn’t it? The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” True, but I had no idea he was going to go for it without at least a little bit more of a fight.

“He blackmailed you,” I say, and it’s not a question.

“More or less,” Sylas says and it makes me angry on his behalf. I love my father more than anything, but I don’t agree with everything he does.

“He says that he has something I want.” I narrow my eyes.

“Me?” I ask, but he shakes his head.

“No. Something else. I have no idea what it is, but he told me that I’m definitely going to want it. I… I have to take the chance, Saige. And then there’s you.” He looks up at me and I search his eyes, looking for anything to give me hope.

“We’ve done a lot of things to each other, you and I. But I can’t be sorry I met you. When I told you I loved you, it wasn’t part of the game. I said it because I meant it. I mean it. I do love you, Saige. So much it’s hard to breathe, I’m so utterly consumed by you.”

That’s all I wanted to hear. I launch myself at him and he’s ready for me. His kiss is rough and hard and everything I want. There isn’t even time to get undressed. He just pulls down my jeans and underwear, unzips his pants and moves me until I’m sitting in his lap.

I sink down onto his cock and stare into his eyes as I do. His eyes blaze into mine and I see everything I’ve always wanted.

“So how the hell is this going to work?” I ask a while later as I’m lying on his chest and he’s playing with my hair.

“I’m not sure. We should keep it quiet at first. I’m sure your father will be none too pleased. He threated to hurt me if I ever broke your heart.” That’s not surprising at all.

“Well, you’re not going to, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“It’s not about being confident,” I say, lifting my head and resting my chin on his chest so I can see him. “It’s about knowing something, deep in your bones. I knew you were going to change my life, that very first moment when you saw me.” His hand stops moving on my hair.

“That reminds me, why in the hell were you wearing that brown wig?” I laugh. I wondered how long it was going to take him to ask.

“I wore it because I knew you’d be intrigued. No reason other than that. I have worn disguises before, many times. I just had that one kicking around.” Sylas holds a few strands of hair between his fingers, turning them so they catch the light.

“You should never cover this hair. Ever.” He tugs a little and I yelp.

“Is this even happening right now?” His hand goes from my hair to my cheek.

“Yes. Somehow.”

He gives me a soft kiss.

“How are we going to trust each other?” I say. This is going to be our biggest hurdle. Well, the biggest next to Dad.

“I really don’t know. I guess we’re going to take it one day at a time. That letter was a start. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t easy.” I’ve missed him. This is my Sylas. The man I fell in love with. Not the unemotional, quiet robot I’ve seen since everything went to shit.

“Thank you for reading it and not setting it on fire.”

“I would never disrespect you like that.”

We don’t talk about the exact details of the letter. It was a lot for him to take in, I’m sure. I started at the beginning, with the games Dad and I used to play and went all the way to the moment when Dad asked me if I could help him with a job and showed me Sylas’ picture. At first I didn’t know what Dad wanted with Sylas, but I did the job anyway. And then I got far too wrapped up in it and fell in love with him and found out what Dad’s true motive was.

I almost told him. Many times. I’m sure he remembers those moments when I seemed distant, or like I had something to tell him, but would divert his attention when he asked.