River looked…distressed. In a way he’d never seen her. And when she directed it straight at him, Sarge knew exactly what it was about. It only took a few seconds for them to meet halfway in a quiet corner of the hall, but it took her twice as long to start speaking. It alarmed him, the way she couldn’t seem to draw a decent breath. “Riv—”

“How could you do that, Sarge?” She covered her mouth with a cupped palm. “You shouldn’t have. I-I don’t know what I’m going to do now.”

River pulled away when Sarge tried to lay a hand on her arm, so he stepped closer and lowered his voice. “What happened?”

“Vaughn. He left me a voicemail. At the church with Adeline, since he doesn’t have my home number anymore.” She paused, as if replaying the message in her head. “It was short, but he said you overnighted him a letter.”

God, had it only been a couple days since he’d sent that letter? It felt like a month had passed. “When things ended between you and Vaughn… River, he didn’t even know you were pregnant.”

“It didn’t matter. I still doesn’t. Do you think I want to be with someone who doesn’t want me?” River’s gaze found Marcy across the room where she stood, watching the big kids test out tambourines. “I was going to do right by Marcy with or without Vaughn—and I have. I’ve done the best I can.”

Sarge grasped her shoulders. “You’ve done unbelievable, Riv. Marcy is just…she’s everything.” He dipped down so their eyes were level. “But we’ve known Vaughn a long time. Or we used to. The guy I remember would want to know you were struggling. He would be sick knowing you were doing this all alone.”

“I’m not alone,” she said, visibly upset by his words. “I have friends. Good people around me who love my daughter and help when they can.”

It hurt when River didn’t mention him, but he camouflaged it. “The money I send you goes straight into a college fund. You don’t even use it.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “You shouldn’t have to work two jobs. You shouldn’t be so exhausted.”

She twisted away on an uncharacteristic curse, then came back. “Who told you all this? About the night job?”

“Adeline. Who else?”

His attempt at levity died a quick death, River still looking shaken. “You didn’t see him when he came back from overseas. He’s not the same person he was in high school.” She hiccuped into her wrist. “And now he’s on his way to Hook.”

“What?” Sarge shook his head, pressure weighing down on him, pushing him toward the floor. “No, I asked him to…call you. Or write back. It wasn’t supposed to happen this fast.”

The fight went out of River, and that wounded Sarge more than anything. “You know, there was a little part of me that imagined Vaughn running back once he knew. Wanting to be a father for Marcy.” She stared at something invisible over his shoulder. “But it’s too late for that. Way too late. Worse…that might not even be what he wants. That’s what will hurt the worst.”

“I’m sorry.” Sarge pulled his sister into a hug, but her arms remained slack at her sides. “I didn’t think it through, River. I thought I was helping.” When River didn’t respond, he tightened his hold. “But I’ll be here now to help. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t want to use the money, fine. You’ll have me. I’ll get the hang of babysitting.”

River pulled away. “What are you saying?”

He gestured toward the packed church hall. “I’m staying in Hook.”

“For me and Marcy?”

“Well, yeah.” That would be enough reason. His sister needed his help, and he’d been absent too long. He hoped with every fiber of his being he would be staying for Jasmine, too. But he didn’t know yet. She hadn’t decided if she wanted anything permanent with him. Fuck, that uncertainty opened a fresh pothole in his sternum. “Yeah, Riv. I want to be here for you guys.”

“No.” Based on his sister’s expression, she’d surprised them both with the denial. “No. I want to do this on my own, Sarge. I need to, okay? I was reliant on our parents, then Vaughn…and when they left for Florida, all I had was me. And I was weak. But I’m not weak now. That’s why I don’t use your money, because I’m proving myself. I’m proud of what I’ve managed to accomplish alone.” She swiped at a tear on her cheek. “So…no. I don’t want you moving here to save me. I’m saving myself.”

The pothole in his chest deepened. “Riv, I—”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you.” She squeezed his forearm. “I really hope you’ll come visit. But you need to get back out there and make us proud, okay? Show Marcy what can happen if she dreams big.”

Maybe Sarge should’ve taken his sister’s rejection in the spirit it was intended. River didn’t have a mean bone in her body, and on some level, he understood why she needed to prove herself. Of course he did. But in the wake of Jasmine pushing him away, all he heard was another person he loved saying…leave. They didn’t need or want him. His staying in Hook wasn’t a positive, but a negative. A burden. God, weren’t they kind of right? He’d waltzed into town like a hero trying to solve River’s problems, deceiving Jasmine by proposing a purely physical relationship, when in actuality, he’d been in love with her from the start. Jesus. Maybe they were right.

Maybe he should do everyone a favor and get gone.

Jasmine chose that moment to fill his vision, so goddamn pretty in her red dress and stockings, it choked him up. And that was before he saw her expression. Once he took in her sympathy and distress, swallowing became impossible. She really didn’t even need to say a word for him to catch the drift. Over. They were over. She didn’t want him hanging around, same as his family.

“Sarge, can we talk now?”

His laughter was jagged. “Listen, Jas. I’m just going to save you the trouble, all right? I’ll leave. I’m out.” Her confused frown baffled him. Shouldn’t she look relieved? Dammit, he didn’t have the right to feel angry. This fantasy scenario of being part of his family again, settling down with the girl of his dreams? That’s all it was. A fantasy fabricated in his head, while everyone built lives without him. He had no right being mad they wanted to keep what they’d built. But he was mad. His gut felt torn down the middle with it. “Is there something else you’re waiting for me to say? Is there something I haven’t said over and fucking over since I got here? There’s nothing left but good-bye, right?”

Ah shit, just saying good-bye while looking at Jasmine was eating him alive. He had to get out of there now. Before he did something insane, like press his face against her legs and ask what else he could have done. Yeah…yeah, he had to walk toward the door, get in his van, and find a place to hole up. Couldn’t let everything rush in on him right now, or Jasmine would only feel guiltier than she already looked. He hated that guilt. Wanted to kiss it off her face, but would never get that chance again.

Something hard and leather pressed against Sarge’s palm, and he looked down to find his guitar case, Lita in his periphery. For the second time that night, he was grateful to the drummer. Holding his guitar proved to be the push he needed to give Jasmine one final memorizing look before exiting into the dark chill of night.

Chapter Fifteen

As far as Christmas mornings went, this one was somber as hell.

Following tradition, Jasmine had shown up at River’s house to watch Marcy open presents before spending the rest of the holiday with her parents. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with her best friend since Sarge’s departure last night, but it was obvious they were both making a Herculean effort to stay positive for Marcy’s sake. Currently, the three-year-old was tearing through wrapping paper with glee as River followed with a black trash bag.