Mason hopped the chain-link fence behind the hotel room. It rattled and shook as he scaled it. He landed on his feet, pointing to the top, trying to persuade me to do the same. I studied the six foot metal and shook my head. I knew it was a task I could conquer, but I just didn’t feel like it.

He kneeled, tugging on the fence to free up enough space for me to squeeze through. Thankfully, the fencing was cheap enough to manipulate.

I wiped my hands on my jeans once I made it through. Mason slipped his hand around my waist and we walked through the field behind the motel. The ground was scattered with trash—Aunt Wanda always knew how to pick the crappiest neighborhoods.

We found an old railroad track that went on for miles. Mason hopped on, balancing himself. I followed along, waiting for him to start some kind of conversation. He wasn’t usually the quiet one.

He held his arms out, his feet making substantial ground, not once did he waver. His concentration was impeccable at everything he did.

I picked up a rock and chucked it. That got his attention and he hopped off the tracks, snagging my hand in his. “Do you ever think of where you want to live?”

I stared at the overpass coming up.

“I liked Massachusetts—it wasn’t so bad. And the way they talked was wild.” I grinned.

Aunt Wanda and I had stayed there for nearly a month. The accents were awesome. They were quick, nothing like me, the girl with the southern drawl that never left. I couldn’t sound threatening if I tried.

“I liked Arkansas and Texas. I’m hoping we head to Texas again but with those women, you never know what’s going to happen.”

We made it under the overpass.

I leaned against the cool brick enjoying the shelter. Mason stood in front of me. He touched my chin. I knew he wanted to kiss me. It was something we did out of habit. I wondered if I was just a means of gratifying his sexual needs or if it meant something more to him.

I closed my eyes, his lips against mine made my heart skip a beat. He lightly trailed his fingertips across the fabric of my t-shirt, pulling away before he got too personal.

We stopped. I stared into his eyes, the warmth of his breath against my skin. My heart became spastic when he skimmed my waist with his fingertips.

“I miss you,” he whispered. I kissed him again, but he pulled away. He sat down, pressing his back against the brick. He seemed nervous about something.

“I know you do.” I sat down beside him. Mason was never down—this wasn’t like him.

“Well, shit. Are you going to say you miss me, too? Or don’t you?” he said, shaking his head.

“I miss you, too. You should know that,” I said, feeling bad I’d have to confirm that to him. It was something I figured he already knew.

“I feel like every day is my last anymore,” he said, letting out a short laugh.

“You shouldn’t think like that, Mason. I don’t think like that. We didn’t create this mess.” I shoved my hair behind my ear. “At the least, we should be able to make it out alive.” Now, I was frightened.

Mason stared at the ground. He picked up a stone, rolling it around in his hand.

“Life isn’t kind. Who are you trying to kid, Kendall?” He sighed.

I leaned back against the wall, knowing he was right. How many people in our situation made it out alive? Not many.

“She ruined your life. You know that?” he said. “Sure, Joy was messed up, but Wanda ain’t a stitch better. If anything, I think Joy would have done a better job raising you.”

I never liked to talk about the past and how Wanda snatched me like a thief in the night. I chose to go with her.

“I think I’m better off,” I said, looking away.

“I wish I could make you some perfect life somewhere. If I can put up with this, I can do anything.”

The overpass started to shake. We both jumped to our feet knowing the train was coming our way. I started to head out, but Mason grabbed my hand and tugged me back. He pressed me against the wall, parts of him touching me that I would have preferred not at a time like this. He covered my eyes, shushing me.

“We’re going to die!” I pushed him. He put his other hand over my heart as the sound grew louder.

“I wouldn’t let that happen. Just live in the moment! Sometimes that’s all you’ve got!”

Our bodies shook and my skin tingled from the adrenaline rushing through my veins. It was a mixture of fear and joy, a moment I couldn’t escape—like every other part of my life. The only difference, this moment would end and it would go away.

Mason kissed me, thrusting his tongue deeply into my mouth. He held tight to my neck, neither one of us able to do much with the train flying by us. His hands slid down my body and unzipped my shorts.

I opened my eyes, shocked by what he was doing.

“Just go with it,” he said, letting my shorts drop to my ankles. I undid his belt and unzipped his jeans. He gripped my legs, his fingers squeezing my thighs, pressing my back against the wall. I closed my eyes, the sight of the train behind him scared the hell out of me. I let him do as he wished, biting at my lip when he moved my underwear out of the way and pushed himself inside me. I couldn’t lie, I was enjoying every second of it.

I gripped his t-shirt, my back scraping the concrete, but I didn’t care.

The train finally passed, freeing us from the wall. Mason pulled his pants up and hopped back on the track. I did the same, watching him, wondering what he was thinking at that moment.

Was it just silly sex with an old friend?

“I guess we should go back,” he said. “Or do you want to make a run for it and leave them behind?”

He laughed, jokingly pushing me.

I knew he was only joking. He would never take off.

“You couldn’t do that to your momma and you know it. I know it.” I gave him a look, searching for something that said otherwise.

He only offered a smirk.

JUNE 18

TH

 

I COVERED MY MOUTH, fighting to hold the laughter in as Mason put on a crazy pair of sunglasses. We were in the middle of the department store trying to fit in, acting like normal customers while Wanda and Payton did their ”thing.”

Mason grabbed another pair off the rack and tossed them at me.

“Put them on. I want to see you in them.” He moved to the next rack. I sighed, giving in. I looked in the mirror. The glasses totally hid my face.

“Nah, I don’t like them. I can’t see your eyes.” He took them off me and returned them to the rack. I gave him a fake pout and he poked me in the side and steered me further down the aisle.

“Can I help you with anything?” someone asked.

I immediately started to panic.

Mason took the glasses off as he looked the man over.

“No, sir, I believe we’re shopping just like everyone else in here.” He took my hand as we walked past him. Mason squeezed my hand letting me know we were okay. I was close to throwing up all over the shiny floors. I hated being in public because I knew what we’d done. And it was just a matter of time before the rest of the world knew as well.

“Go get them. I’ll be outside trying to lose the undercover security,” he said, flashing me a look of annoyance. I nodded and hurried past the racks of clothing, trying to act as casual as my nerves would allow.

I headed for the dressing room.

“Aunt Wanda,” I called out. I crossed my arms, pacing the floor, cautiously watching every person that passed. It was pathetic how I was overcome with fear in an instant.

There was never a time I didn’t panic when somebody even glanced in my direction.