His eyes hardened. “So now I’m the new asshole corrupting that reality.”

Her brows shot up in alarm. “What?! No!”

“Is that what the sexual inquisition was about the other day?” Now he sounded downright livid. “All that threesome talk? Is that what you think of me? You think I’m like that monster who tortured you in high school?!”

“Of course not!” she gasped. “I asked you all that because I was genuinely curious. Honestly, what happened when I was sixteen had less to do with the sex and more to do with the control. The control I gave up over my own life.”

When he looked unconvinced, she grabbed his wrist. “I’m telling you the truth.”

“Are you?” He pulled away. “You tell me guys basically call you frigid but here you were the other day asking me about every raunchy thing I’ve ever done. I know you weren’t just teasing me, either; you’re just not built like that. So what the hell, Abby? Do you see me the way you saw that guy? Do you feel like you have to turn into a slutty plaything for me? Because it’s not true; not at all. I’d hate to have any woman be like that for me.”

“I know that, Connor, I swear. I wasn’t planning on losing myself with you, or for you. All that talk wasn’t specific to you. I’d have had the same questions for any guy whose sexual history differed from mine. In fact, I make sure of it so we both know what we’re getting into. I’m not repeating the mistakes I made back then; I know the difference between identity and fantasy now. Whether or not I like your fantasies, I’m not changing my identity. Not for you or for any man.”

“Stop talking about being with another man!” he exploded.

She eyed him warily.

“What if I’d wanted the threesomes, Abby? What then?”

“I-I would’ve considered it seriously...and decided if it was something I really wanted.”

“So consider it now. Humor me.” His scowl was fierce.

She shoved a ruthless lid on her embarrassment, trying desperately to show she really did want a logical discussion about this. Heck, she’d had it with each of the three other guys she’d dated seriously in the past. Just…in a far more hypothetical manner, since their fantasy sexcapades didn’t come close to Connor’s real life history. “I’d be too jealous to share you with another woman,” she confessed. “So I’d have said no to that right off the bat.”

A low grunt was his only response.

“As for you and another guy.” She bit her lip. “I admit the thought of it is a little hot. But…” How was she supposed to explain it? How was she supposed to tell him that she wouldn’t, couldn’t even remotely consider a threesome if true emotions were involved…something that was fast becoming the case with Connor. “I feel like I’d lose the connection of being with you, just the two of us. So no, I wouldn’t want that either.”

He gave her a measured look before replying gruffly, “I feel the same way.”

She smiled at his clipped, audibly relieved response. There, that wasn’t so bad. “Then it’s settled—no threesomes. See? Mature and rational. I know when I brought it up the other day we were goofing around but this was what I wanted. This control right here? I gave him this when I was sixteen. That’s what I hated the most about it all. So now I keep that control secured tight. Live by it, rise and fall by it.”

His expression softened. “That’s what you meant when you said you need the two weeks you asked for? For control?”

“Yes. Back then, I felt like I didn’t know my own mind, and that the few times I did, I didn’t stand up for what I wanted, good or bad. If I’d wanted to be a slut, I wouldn’t have hated myself so much. But that wasn’t the case. I was weak, every bit the mindless plaything he’d turned me into. Too scared to admit to him what I did and didn’t want, and foolish enough to convince myself that his wants were mine.”

She unloaded a long, emotional breath as she reflected on all these tenets of her life that she hadn’t thought about in awhile. “I’m never going back to that. Not in any shape or form. Now, every decision in my life is mine. I take a good look at my wishes, whatever they may be, and work hard to make them my reality. That’s how I came back from all of it, by taking 100% ownership of my life.”

She slid a hand along his cheek. “And that’s what I’m realizing I should’ve been doing here all along. With us. This past week, I haven’t been totally honest with myself on what I truly want. I hid from it. From you. The truth is, you are most definitely a wish I want to become my reality. Even if it’s only going to be a short reality.”

That last part made him flinch.

“I’m entering this with my eyes wide open,” she reassured him. “Telling you my sordid past simply reminded me how being scared to admit to and hold true to what I really want never got me anywhere good. You’re what I want, Connor. What I’ve wanted for a while if I’m being perfectly honest.”

She felt his heart rate pick up under her palm.

“Dammit, Abby. You can’t offer yourself up to me on a silver platter after telling me everything you just did.”

“I know. So that’s why we should just do what we had planned. Eat, talk, and watch a movie. For tonight.”

“And tomorrow?”

“I’ll be just like your other one-month women.” She smothered her body’s immediate objection to that statement and held his gaze. “I’m not resisting what I want anymore.”

The latter half, her body didn’t have any complaints over, seeing as how it was the absolute truth.

Resisting Connor Sullivan was no longer an option.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

AS FAR AS MORNING AFTER big declarations go, Abby decided this one was going fairly smoothly.

Probably because they were both on their laptops pretending they weren’t sitting six feet from each other.

Around the third mumbled apology when their hands collided reaching for something on the table, however, was when she started getting pissed.

Shoot, if she only had another three weeks with the man, this was not how she was going to spend it.

She grabbed her phone and started texting.

>> WERE THE WHITE PANTIES THE ONLY ONE YOU SAW?

>> …YOU KNOW, THAT DAY IN MY LIL’ BAG-O-FUN?

She kept her eyes down as Connor reached for his beeping phone.

A tiny flash of amusement flickered over his features, soon followed by a hint of wariness. Good. She liked him off-kilter.

Seconds later, he was texting back. Four quick taps.

>> YES .

Pause.

>> WHY?

She smiled, waiting far longer than she needed to reply.

>> BECAUSE I BOUGHT A PAIR OF RED ONES, TOO.

Another pause. And just the slightest gulp.

>> THAT’S…INTERESTING. GOOD FOR YOU.

That’s it? Eyes narrowed, she kicked it up a notch.

>> THX. I LIKE ‘ EM. MOSTLY BECAUSE THEY’RE, WELL…

She dragged it out. This was too much fun.

>> LESS ‘CONSERVATIVE’ THAN THE WHITE PAIR.

A choked throat clearing sputtered out from his end of the dining room.

Excellent.

>> PLUS, IT’S NOT ‘EASY ACCESS,’ BUT RATHER…

She tapped the second half of the text out, but purposely didn’t put it through. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Connor practically glaring at his phone.

He broke first.

>> RATHER, WHAT?

She clicked send.

>> ALL ACCESS.

“Jesus Christ.”