What does it matter? In any case, whatever it was we had—friendship? Was it that?—is over.

“I know what we need,” Kayla says brightly and jumps to her feet. “Girls’ night!”

“Didn’t know we needed something,” I grumble. The last thing I need is anything involving a social activity. “I’m fine.”

“Wait and see.” She runs out of my room to hers and returns with a pink kit. She plops back on my carpet and opens it, taking out a bunch of nail polish in all possible hues, even some I never imagined on my nails. “First, nail painting.”

“But why?” I whine as Ev claps her hands and starts sorting through the colors. “Why do we need this?”

Truth is, I’d rather curl up on the sofa with chocolate ice cream and watch reruns of Teen Wolf episodes.

“War paint,” Kayla declares, selecting a blue polish with tiny silver bits, like starbursts. “We’re taking on the world.”

“All I want is to forget about the world.” Despite myself, though, I lean forward and snag a red-purple polish. “Not take it on.”

“And then,” Kayla goes on as if I haven’t spoken, “we’ll dress up and go out.”

“No way.” I shake my bottle at her. “I hate going out, and you know it. It’s the last thing I’d do.” I glance at Ev for support. “Tell her.”

I sound like a three-year-old, and I honestly don’t care. I don’t deal well with stress, and I’ve had enough shit these past few days to last me a year.

“We could go to the movies,” Ev says, and even as I open my mouth to say no, I reconsider. “Nothing tear-inducing, I promise. We’ll find a comedy.”

“And for that we need to paint our nails?” I give my polish a suspicious look.

“Trust me, girl.” Kayla shakes hers before she starts painting her toenails. “It’s important. I saw it in the tea leaves this morning.”

Well then, if it was in the tea leaves… Looks like it was inevitable.

***

After a couple of hours wasted on applying nail polish and dressing each other in crazy clothes—Kayla’s, of course—and eating ice-cream straight from the carton, we stumble out of the apartment and make the twenty minute walk to the nearest movie theater. The comedy Ev chose isn’t bad, either, and after laughing for an hour like a loon, I feel much better.

Well enough to forget about Jesse for a while, forget how I’d rather be spending time with him instead of watching a stupid movie about a millionaire who is in fact a secret agent in his spare time.

Can’t help thinking of Jesse as a kid, forced to whore himself in order to live, and feel sick. Who cares about secret agents and millionaires when there are children on the streets with nobody to care for them?

It makes my heart ache for them. For him.

“Coming, Amber?” Kayla is tugging on my arm as we walk out of the movie theater.

“Where?”

She rolls her eyes with a small huff. “We’re going to Halo. Where all the guys will be.”

Ev says nothing, but I can see how much she wants to go. Micah will be there, for sure.

“You go.” I give them my brightest, sincerest smile. “I had a great evening, honestly. I’ll just head home. I’m tired.”

Ev hesitates, but Kayla is already dragging her away.

“She’ll be okay, Ev.” She tugs on Ev’s arm. “I have a good feeling about this. Come on.”

“Good feeling about her going home alone?” Ev still turns to look at me. “Are you sure, Amber?”

“I’ll be perfectly okay.” I blow them a raspberry and start walking away from them to end the awkward moment. “Go have fun and tell me about it tomorrow.”

I walk briskly toward the apartment, my hands in the pockets of my short jeans skirt, my purse bouncing against my side. My toe nails wink at me from my leather sandals, purple-red, and I shake my head and grin. Kayla and her girls’ night…

Definitely not what I expected. I had fun. I can have fun without changing who I am… like Jesse said. No need to suddenly turn into an extrovert, much less a party animal, to be happy.

Am I happy? Not sure. Also not sure why the question makes me think of Jesse—again. He’s in my every thought.

And then he’s right there, right in front of me, sitting on the steps of a random building.

Am I seeing things? I stop in my tracks, my breath caught in my chest. It has to be around midnight. Is it really him?

I take a few steps closer, until I’m standing at the entrance of the building. He’s curled up on the dirty steps, arms folded over his chest. He’s wearing his baseball cap backward, and his head is tipped to the side, resting on the wall.

It is him. His dark lashes cast shadows on his cheeks as he rests, his chest rising and falling evenly.

He’s asleep. On the steps of a building. It’s like a weird déjà vu—not from my memories, but from his.

“Jesse.” I lean over and shake him. “JJ!”

He starts awake, sitting up, and I see a darkening bruise on his jaw. What happened here?

“Are you all right?” I ask, and he blinks, looking confused. “Come on.” I grab his hand and pull. “Let’s go home.”

Chapter Fourteen

Jesse

“Let’s go home.”

In my dream I’m sitting in a back alley behind a restaurant, waiting for Helen, curled up on the step. Fear runs through me like a current, tension and exhaustion born of uncertainty about tomorrow. Where will I end up? Will I be safe? Will I have money? Where will I sleep?

Will she be okay?

Then I’m blinking, and there’s Amber. Amber… Her face doesn’t fit in with my memories, and yet seeing her calms me down and wraps a warm band around my chest.

Still… Can’t recognize this place. The steps are all wrong, and what is she doing here? My brain’s muddled from sleep and I’m disoriented.

I should… Should be careful. Walk away. My jaw hurts, and my ribs smart. Not a good sign, and it’s the kind of pain my nightmares feed on. It’s probably why I have so much trouble getting my brain to let go of the dream.

But her hand is on my arm, fingertips digging lightly into my muscle, and I let her pull me to my feet, bracing my other hand on the wall. The street lights blind me as I stagger down the steps, following her onto the street. The headlights of a passing car stab my eyeballs, and I curse under my breath.

“Why aren’t you sleeping in your bed?” she asks, her small hand slipping down to slide into mine, and I curl my fingers around it, a weight lifting off my chest—as if I’ve caught a lifeline in the storm.

“My bed.” My apartment. What the hell? I was back on the streets for a moment there. Kinda missed a whole year of my life. “I don’t…”

Memory returns in fits and starts, and I bite back a groan. Oh yeah, I remember now. Dammit.

She glances at me, probably waiting for an answer.

“Shit happened.” Real enlightening, J, very smooth.

“I thought you’d still be at work at this time.”

“Yeah, well, I left early. Had something I needed to do.”

“And did you?”

“Nope.” That’s the problem. Everything went wrong, every single damn thing, tonight of all nights. A night that’s bad by default.

Except for Amber finding me and putting her hand in mine. Yeah, that’s the only thing that gives me hope, though for what, I can’t imagine.

The rest of the way I turn the night’s events over and over in my head until it hurts like a mother, and I barely notice when she stops at a building entrance and unlocks.

That’s when I realize she hasn’t led me to my apartment, but to hers.

Thank fucking God.

“Have you eaten anything tonight?” she asks, and I take a moment to figure out she’s talking to me, too distracted by her scent and the warmth of her skin against mine as we go up the steps.

“Don’t think I have.” As a matter of fact, I can’t recall eating anything after a hurried breakfast. Had to leave early for the shop. Taking on Seth’s shift means I don’t go running as often as I’d like to, but hey, cleaning is a decent workout, I guess.