“What do you know about Amber?” I ask, the words leaving my mouth before I can think, before I can wonder what she has to do with the darkness swirling in my mind.

“Amber? Ev’s friend?”

“You know more Ambers?” I say irritably, tapping a rhythm with my foot until I realize I’m doing it and stop.

Damn.

“Man, are you seriously hitting on Amber? She’s Ev’s best friend. One wrong move, Ev gets upset, Micah will break both your legs and arms. Not to mention Zane and Rafe.”

“Didn’t ask for your opinion.”

He laughs. “Right. Well, I don’t know much about her. Probably even less than you.”

Thank fuck he isn’t asking why I’m interested. “Humor me.”

“Well, she used to go to school here with Ev. Then her family moved to Chicago, and she only came back the day of the party. She’s thinking of studying design, Ev says. You know she makes jewelry.”

“I didn’t know.” I remember the pendant she wore at the party. Was that one of her pieces? I lean forward, more curious than ever. “Any reason why her family would move to Chicago?”

“Fuck if I know. Maybe her parents got jobs there?”

“Right.” Or the bullying got so bad they moved away. “That’s it?”

“Ev’s the person to ask if you wanna know more.” His gaze sharpens. “Chick really got under your skin, didn’t she?”

“She hates me,” I say, bitterness coating my tongue.

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s scared of you.”

Is she? Well, with good reason. “I frighten her and disgust her. How’s that any better?”

It comes down to the same. She doesn’t want me, and as for me… I can’t wait to see her again.

Chapter Nine

Amber

“I think I know what to wear at the wedding,” Ev says, sprawling on the couch and dumping her purse beside her with a heartfelt sigh. “I tried this white dress yesterday, I think it will be perfect.”

“A short dress?”

“Yeah, short and knitted. With beads.” She grins. “I think you’ll like it, you’re a bead person. What about you?”

A short dress is a surprise where Ev is concerned. Up until recently, she refused to wear anything short, refused to show the scars of surgery on her leg—the one her ex-boyfriend broke when he ran her over with his bike. She’d finally told me the story, after some prodding.

What a bastard.

“Don’t know yet.” What to wear—or even whether to go or not. I place the two mugs of steaming tea on the low table and sink into the chair across from her.

Ev’s eyes pop wide. “You kidding me. It’s in ten days, girl. When are you going to find something?”

“I know.” As if I could forget. My palms start sweating at the mere thought of another social event I’m supposed to attend.

“Hey, we can go shopping together!” She claps her hands together, eyes bright. “I know some cool shops. Time for you to get re-acquainted with your town.”

I pretend to think about it, while I recall my conversation with Jesse, and how he dreaded shopping. I wonder if he’ll pass by again to check if I found his leather band.

Here I am, thinking about Jesse, again, no matter how often I scold myself for it. There’s something about him that’s burrowing under my skin. I miss him. How can I miss someone I’ve only seen a handful of times?

“Have we met before?” He said that, and there’s a nagging familiarity about him, too, though I’m pretty sure I’ve never met him before returning to Madison.

This is crazy. Like something out of Lost. And it’s all in my mind.

“Amber.” Ev is waving her hands up and down, making faces at me. “Houston, come in.”

I shake my head and laugh at her antics. Silly girl. “But you already know what you’re going to buy.”

“I don’t mind tagging along to help you choose yours, girlfriend.” She sighs. “It’s good to have you back, you know.”

I eye her. She looks so much… sassier than she used to be. Confident. Strong. I want to be like her, I think—sure of myself, knowing what I need and with the courage to fight for it.

Having a slim, tight body like hers would help. Though I’m not chubby anymore, my curves are generous. Very generous. They aren’t easily contained, to be honest, and they make me self-conscious, especially in summer.

“You keep spacing out on me and I’ll start to worry.” She takes her mug and blows on her tea. “Or think you have a crush on one of the boys. You’ve been out of it since the party.”

Heat rises to my face. How can she read me so well after all this time?

“Oh my frigging God, I was right!” She squeals and for a moment I’m terrified she’ll tip the tea on her lap and burn herself. “It’s one of the boys, isn’t it? Who? Wait, don’t tell me.”

I discreetly roll my eyes.

“It can’t be Shane. You were appalled at his manners. Seth?” She leans toward me, peering at me closely. I stick my tongue out at her. “Nah. Too quiet. Too much like you.”

“Whatever,” I say, but a chill runs down my spine.

“That leaves Ocean. He’s funny and nice all around. If you set your sights on him, I have no objections.”

“Okay, good to know.”

I wait for the next one, but she just sips at her tea. After a long moment, she looks up and lifts her copper brows at me. “What?” Her eyes narrow. “Wait…Not Jesse. Not the manwhore.”

“I haven’t said anything”

“Yeah, only your eyes lit up like fireworks when I mentioned his name. You don’t even like the guy!”

“Never said I do.” I stare into my tea. “Why are you so set against him?”

“Because he is… Have you listened to a word I’ve said? The man is a slut. He has screwed half the town.”

“You’re telling me the others haven’t? Micah exempted, of course,” I hurry to add when she scowls.

“Well, I wouldn’t know. They don’t parade their conquests at every party. They try to be discreet. I don’t think Jesse would know the meaning of the word discreet if it bit him in the face.”

No bit surprises there. “What’s his story anyway? Kayla didn’t know to tell me, said to ask you.”

“Oh God…” She plunks her mug on the table, toes off her sandals and gathers her legs under her. “You got it that bad, do you?”

I don’t reply. I won’t dignify her words with an answer.

“Jesse…” She sighs again, and what’s up with that? It’s like I’m tiring her. “He doesn’t really talk about his past. But I overheard Zane tell Dylan how he found Jesse more than a year ago, on the street. He’d been a real mess, He had… a fresh tattoo on his chest, badly made and infected.”

I shudder. “What about his family?”

“No family, apparently, and he said his only friend was gone. He’d escaped from a group home. Or transition home. No idea. Zane somehow saw an artist in him and took him on as his apprentice.”

No family. No home. His friend gone. “The leather band was given to me by someone who meant a lot to me. Later I lost her, and that’s all I have left of her.”

“Doesn’t mean all he said was true,” Ev says.

“But it could be.”

“Yeah, it could. Anyway…” She picks up her mug again and her mouth twists. “Too late to convince you not to have a crush on him, right?”

“I don’t have a crush on him. Why do you say that?” I push my hands into the back of the arm chair, between the cushion and the back. My fingers curl around something thin and rough.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” She snorts. “You’re funny, Amber, you know that?”

“Why does everyone assume I have a crush on Jesse? I don’t. I’m just curious.”

And that’s all there is to it, I think as I pull out a worn and battered string of leather from the back of the chair.

Jesse’s leather band.

***

Standing in front of Jesse’s door, I shift from foot to foot in my flat sandals and tug on the hem of my blue summer dress with one hand.

The other clutches the worn leather band. I lift it, inspect one last time the faded letters inked on one side. ‘Helen’.