“I know, all right? But how did he know where to find me?”

“What? You’re being paranoid. He just happened to be there!”

“I don’t trust him, Joey.”

“Dammit.” He sighs. “Mom and Dad want to have a serious talk with you.”

Crap. “I can’t do this anymore. Having to explain my every action… I need out.”

“What do you mean?” Quiet. Resigned. I think he knows what I’m about to say.

“I need to move out.”

This time the silence stretches far longer.

“Evie…” He grunts, and I hear a sound as if he’s kicking something. “Will you be careful?”

“I’m always careful,” I say. “I didn’t cause the accident. You know that, right? It could have happened to anyone.”

He sighs again. “I know. Can’t help worrying about you, sis.”

This makes me smile. “I worry about you, too. Hey, did you finally ask that brunette out yet?”

“What brunette?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about, Joel Kingsley. The girl working on campus, in the library. Ethel?”

“Ellen.” He chuckles. “No progress on that front.”

That’s my brother. I missed him. Before Blake and the accident, things were always like this between us: easy.

“I’ll talk to Mom and Dad,” I say. “After work today.” I tug on the sleeve of my jacket. “Will you be there?”

“Maybe.” He tsks. “What will you give for me to be there?”

It startles a laugh out of me. “You’d extort your own sister?”

“To get you to bake me those chocolate brownies of yours? You bet. At least two dozens, sis.” He’s still chuckling as he disconnects the call.

Bastard. But I’m grinning as I head to work, patting down the new jeans and blouse I bought yesterday with Cassie. I refuse to acknowledge the swarms of butterflies in my stomach.

This is me, getting my life back. Finding happiness. Finding me.

***

“Micah works at Damage Control?” Cassie’s cheeks flush. “Really?”

“Yeah.” To say she’s reacting strangely is the understatement of the year. “Why?”

“Oh nothing.” The blush turns crimson. “Nothing.”

“Who else works there?” I lean toward her, curious in spite of myself.

“Just this guy I’ve met a few times when I go out with the girls. His name’s Jesse.”

“And he’s hot, huh?”

She giggles, then claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh God, this is so stupid. He doesn’t even know I exist.”

“Then talk to him.”

“I can’t.” She fans herself. “He’s got girls all over him, like, every night. He’s just cute, that’s all. Now stop talking about Jesse and tell me about Micah!”

I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t know where to start. “He’s great. He’s just…” Familiar heat floods my face.

“Oh God, you’re in love with him, aren’t you? I knew it.”

I don’t know where to run and hide. “I’m so not.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Good.” She still looks worried, but she smiles. “You can’t fall in love so quickly, Ev. It’s dangerous, especially with these gorgeous ones. They change girls like socks.”

I make a face. Micah doesn’t seem that kind of guy… Does he? I mean, he is gorgeous but…

“Which is why you should go in with your eyes open,” she goes on, eyes bright. She really believes this stuff. “Have fun, but don’t be exclusive.”

Not be… I blink. I realize with a jolt I don’t really know Cassie at all. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. The main thing is, is he good at sex?” Cassie asks, her face serious.

I gape at her for a good five seconds. In the end I give in. “Yeah, he’s…” I wave a hand.

“Big?”

I can’t help it. I start laughing.

“What? It’s an important question!”

“Yeah, I guess he’s big. God, Cassie.” I wipe at my eyes. “Don’t tell me. You’ve checked Jesse’s package out already, haven’t you?”

She shrugs, a glint in her eyes. “I won’t lie to you. It’s pretty much outstanding.”

I laugh again. I can’t believe this discussion. “You blush like a little girl when you talk about Jesse, but have no trouble talking about his size. Isn’t there something wrong with this picture?”

“Size, sex… These things are normal. It’s just that…” She tucks her hair behind her ears. “Well, Jesse, he’s…”

“He’s what?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. Hard to read, I guess. Joking about, fucking all those girls…”

I wince. “Uh-oh.”

Cassie goes on, seemingly oblivious. “Every night he has a different girl, and I kinda know if I approached him he’d sleep with me, you know?”

Do I? This all sounds so strange to me. If Micah slept with other girls… Just the thought makes my hands curl into firsts, even though I know realistically that he must have had girls before he met me. After all, he seems to know what he’s doing.

“And normally I wouldn’t mind,” Cassie says.

I struggle to follow. “You wouldn’t mind being a one-night stand for Jesse?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t mind.” Her voice has gone a little husky, and her eyes glitter. I can’t read the emotions in them. “But I can’t. Not with him. There’s something about him that won’t let me.”

“Like what?”

“Like he’s cracked, like a glass that looks whole, but if you press it too hard it will shatter,” she whispers, and a shudder runs through me.

Because Micah also seemed ready to break this morning, and the things he said about his past are lurking in a corner of my mind, waiting for me to examine them. Darkness, pain, sorrow. It hurts to know he’s been through that, and yet I’m happy he trusted me enough to tell me.

I want to see him again this afternoon. Tonight. I want to talk to Asher’s mom about working with homeless youth. I’ve checked the site of the National Runaway Switchboard online and I can start as a volunteer, then later take courses and work there. I want this. And I want to put Blake and the accident behind me.

“I want to move out of my parents’ house,” I blurt out.

“Whoa. Moving in with Micah already? Isn’t it too soon?”

“No, not with Micah.” Although the thought sends a thrill through me… But he hasn’t asked, and it’s way, way too early to even think about something like that. “I just need to move out.”

“I see. Looking to share an apartment? ’Cuz I may have something.”

“You do?”

“One of my friends is looking for someone to share her apartment with. She’s great. You’ll love her. She lives close by.”

I smile. It’s a good sign, isn’t it, if luck is smiling my way. “Let me talk to my parents, and I’ll let you know.”

***

My parents stare at me in disbelief when I break them the news.

“You want to move out? For heaven’s sake, why?” my dad roars.

Oh, crap, it’s going worse than I thought it would, and Joel is nowhere to be seen. I could use the support right now.

“I need my space,” I say quietly. “I have—”

“Why, so you can sleep around? Or to spend time with all the losers on the street and spend every penny until you become one of them?”

“John,” Mom says. Even she sounds horrified at his words.

Not more than me, though. My stomach hurts as if he’s punched me there. “Is that how you think of me?”

“Come on, Evie.” He rolls his eyes and gives me a withering look. “If you don’t want people to think of you that way, then act responsible. Like the adult you pretend to be.”

Ow.

“Listen to your dad, Evie,” Mom chimes in. “He wants what’s best for you, and you’re not doing anything meaningful with your life.”

“Oh, for chrissakes. I finished school. I got a job. I almost never go out. What are these ‘adult things’ you expect from me?” My voice cracks and all I want is to run out of the room and hide. There’s a lot of hurt inside me. No matter what I do, it will never be enough for my parents. “What else do you want?”

“I want you to stay home where it’s safe for you,” Dad says, and tendons stand out in his throat. “To think seriously about what you want to do with your life and start doing it.”