Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? I suppose.
The doorbell rings right at eight. I put on a spritz of cologne, enough for Kathryn to notice, and go to answer the door.
I’m not disappointed.
She’s dressed as I requested, in a T-shirt and cotton shorts, her strappy sandals cute and her ponytail youthful. I’m sure she felt silly going between her apartment and my condo in that.
What gets me, however, is the collar twinkling around her throat. The moment I see it, I have to contain what I’ve got going on in my pants. No sense losing it all right now. I’m a bit… sore about that sort of thing.
Especially around Kathryn Alison, collared or not.
“Katie,” I say, opening my door so she can come in. “Good to see you.” She drags in her overnight bag and waits for me in the living room. “Did you bring everything you need?”
Silence spreads between us. Silence, aside from the cat yowling in the corner of the room because there’s a damned visitor. We both look at Saoirse, who quickly realizes she’s not going to get the due attention she thinks she deserves and saunters into the library.
The silence continues.
The corner of Kathryn’s mouth twitches. Starting three or so weeks ago, she readily put on the collar and played out a scene for an hour or two. I’m asking for a lot more now. We’re going to be having a full scene for the next three days. So now I get to see that hint of rebellion in her face again.
I love it. Never before have I had a sub who resisted me so much at times. Not that I want her to actually resist me. That’s not a good sign of a woman enjoying herself – not unless she gets off on that kind of behavior. Those women are rare, in my experience, and Katie is certainly not one of them.
Our eyes lock from across the room. She’s dressed like a petulant girl, but I know that her heart beats with purpose and her mind is ticking away, thinking about everything I could possibly do to her – to humiliate her.
I want to assure everyone that I am not into humiliation, per se. I don’t get off on lowering women in status and watching them struggle for their bearings. It’s one thing to challenge a sub’s way of thinking, to open her mind to a new world of endless, sexual possibilities. It’s quite another to make her feel embarrassed and hate herself.
There’s no good in that.
I like to think that by this point Kathryn knows I’m not like that. I’m not going to debase her for my amusement. I’m not going to ask more from her than I know she can handle. Sure, I may overestimate her current mental abilities, but I would never, ever make her negatively uncomfortable on purpose. I want her to enjoy these next three days. It will be a bit rough at first, sure, but eventually…
Eventually she’ll find the joy in it.
“I brought everything… sir.”
What a bite.
“Good. You can put your bag in the bedroom. Did you eat dinner?”
She picks up her overnight bag and heads to my room. “Yes,” she says. “Did you?”
I don’t answer. She’s in the other room, anyway, putting her things away. I go into the kitchen and pour glasses of Chardonnay. When I look up, Kathryn is standing on the other side of my island counter, her countenance stern and her lips pursing to the point of absurdity.
“Well?” she says, hands on her hips. “What do you want of me, sir?”
Sarcasm. Her favorite defense mechanism.
“Relax, darling.” Oh, I’m getting defensive too. I want to defend my honor as a man. And as a Dom? I want to put her in her place. Yet I know that’s not a good idea at the moment. “No need to be on edge.” I hold up the cider. “Wanna watch something on TV?”
Her mouth twists in disbelief. Yes, Kathryn, thus far every time you get collared, we have sex. I’m sorry, however, I can’t have sex for three days straight. Maybe you can…
“Do I get a choice, sir?”
“You always have a choice.” She’s starting to get on my nerves. Kathryn the Domme is here, not Katie my sweet sub.
Good thing I don’t plan on any sex tonight.
Does that surprise you? Here I was, all excited today because I get Kathryn any way I like for the next three days. My cock’s been like a little springboard ever since I woke up this morning. All right, so that’s par for the course for a man my age. Morning wood, say hello to the world! But this fucker – literally – is unrelenting. He wants nothing more than to drive long and hard into Kathryn’s cunt. He’s a crude boy.
Thankfully, I am a man. A man who knows how to hold himself back.
I’ve already decided that we’re not having sex today, no matter how much I want to bend her over my couch and fuck us both senseless. I’m practicing everything I know about self-control as I take her hand and bring her to the couch, where I give her Chardonnay to help her ease into her role. There’s nothing on TV, so I put in a movie. Nothing sad. Nothing overly funny. A run of the mill drama that hinges on beautiful scenery more than it does story.
Because neither of us are paying attention.
Kathryn is waging a war in her mind, like the first and second nights she submitted to me. I understand. Okay, I don’t understand, but I understand this is something she has to go through. Whatever she’s thinking, I hope it ends in both of our favors.
I put my arm around her. I hold her close to me. I almost take off her collar so she’ll feel more comfortable. After thirty seconds or so, however, she relaxes, placing her hand against my chest and drawing her legs up onto the couch.
This is a position she would have chosen with the collar on or not. It’s not necessarily submissive, but in our current states of minds, it is. She’s deciding to trust me. She’s lowering her guards. She’s making me feel like a king without realizing it.
Maybe not a king. More like a protective knight.
Kathryn is a fragile woman. She won’t let you think it easily, but I can tell. I can see it within her. By now, I like to think I know her well enough to know this about her. No matter how much she postures, talks smack, or glares at me, I know that deep inside she’s as fragile as any other human being. She wants to trust. She wants to fall in love.
She wants to submit.
Katie, the whole point of the final part of your training is to help you see what you’re capable of. What you can feel when you finally let yourself go. And I mean go. It’s not enough to put on a collar two hours a week and not feel guilty about me tying you up, spanking you, and sinking my cock as deep as it can go. You need to completely let go and put your life in my hands.
In turn, I will be testing my limits as a Dom who swears to protect and take care of his sub.
You’re a woman worthy of taking care of, my sweet.
“How are you feeling?” I ask toward the end of the movie, my hand sneaking up her shirt and stroking the small of her back. I intend to be soothing, not sexual, but I feel her body tense, becoming alert to my intimate touch. “We should probably go to bed soon.”
It’s not even ten, but I’m tired. I don’t doubt that Kathryn is too, what with running around town all day while dealing with her mental battles. Nothing sounds better than holding her in my arms in bed, drifting off to sleep with the scent of her shampoo in my nose.
Well, that and sex, but like I said, that’s not happening tonight. I want her completely relaxed before tackling that in this context.
Kathryn lifts her head, hand pushing against my chest. “I’m fine. I suppose we could go to bed…”
Her voice is heavy. No matter how many reassurances I give her tonight, she needs me to audibly say it.
“No sex.” I stroke her hair, so fine and soft between my fingers. “Let’s get ready for bed and go to sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll talk more about what’s going to happen through Saturday.”