“I was shattered. Paxton didn’t want me because he wanted her. He already had someone, and a baby. What a bastard, son of a bitch. It was so stupid, I mean he wasn’t even nice to me. Why I thought I ever had a chance to be with a man like Paxton was beyond me. I loved watching him with his little girl, but I hated seeing him with her. He doted on her, and she barely gave him the time of day. I presumed when you looked like that, you didn’t need much more. She kept the hook baited and he fed off of it, nibbling here and there, before taking the entire bite. Stupid little fish.
“I got closer than I should have once they went inside, moving right up to the door, but I could only hear muffled voices. I watched Paxton play with the baby mostly while his wife either talked on the phone, or texted. At one point she went into his office and worked on his computer. I was sure she was very important, a professional of some sort.”
“Is that it, Gabby? Did you see her anymore?”
“Oh yeah, I didn’t leave. I watched them all night, and once the baby was down, they returned to the pool area with wine. He kept kissing her, but she wasn’t very interested. She talked around his advances, telling him she had to be at the airport by nine the next morning.”
“And then what?”
“And then he just did it. He kissed her neck and slid his hands down the front of her pants. Tatiana tried to protest, but not too hard. Once Paxton begged to lick her pussy, it was all over with.
“He led her to the side door where I sleep. I knew I shouldn’t have watched, but he left the door wide open. I couldn’t help it.”
“Did you watch Paxton have sex with his wife, Gabriella?”
“Yes, it was the first time I realized women were supposed to enjoy it. Tatiana did. Very much so. She didn’t do it like me. She was way more in control than I would ever be. I could never tell him to fuck me harder. Never. She made noises that I wouldn’t dare make. She was way more confident than I would ever be.”
“Is that what you want, Gabby? You want to be able to make love to Paxton like Tatiana did?”
“Yes, but I can’t. It doesn’t work for me. Sometimes I feel like it’s going good, and I try not to feel anything but him, but then he says something, or touches me back there, and I shut down.”
“You don’t like anal sex? Does Paxton make you do that?”
“No, he doesn’t make me. He wants to, but I can’t. I always go back to that warehouse. I didn’t like it when they did that. It hurt really bad, and they just kept going, taking turns until it was finally over. If you can just make me forget that, I can be better for him. I know I can.”
“We’re going to help you, Gabby, but just so you know, you have other options. You don’t have to stay with him.”
I snickered before answering. “Yes I do. Paxton would never let me go. He’s told me. He would kill me first.”
“He’s not going to kill you, Gabby. Never mind. We’ll get to that later. What happened next?”
“Nothing really. I sat down on the cracked concrete, staring at the empty pool Paxton had just drained. I knew it was for her by then. Everything he did around there was for her. They were quiet for a while after they’d finished, only heavy breaths.
“Paxton started it. He told her he would have the upstairs bedroom and Rowan’s room finished by the end of the month, and he wanted them there. Full-time, but Tatiana wasn’t a stupid fish. She didn’t bite at all. She stood up to him. I could never do that.”
“Is that what you want? Do you want to learn to stand up to Paxton?” Lane questioned, once again interrupting.
Another giggle. “Not so much. We have an arrangement. I’m okay with it, I would just like to be able to please him better, and I can’t. Will you help me?”
“Yes, Gabby. We’re going to help you. Why won’t you stand up to him? What happens if you do?”
“Different things. Sometimes he’ll keep me from something special.”
“Like what?”
“Well, like Sir Wrinkles. I waited in line with Rowan for three hours so she could get a signed copy, and a stuffed dog like in the book. Paxton was mad at me for telling her I would take her.”
“Why?”
“I forgot that I was supposed to take care of some permits for a job for him. I already promised her. He called me when we were five minutes from reaching the author. Rowan was on pins and needles with excitement, and it got intensified with each step ahead. There were only about seven more stuffed dogs, and she was about to get hers, and the book. Paxton appeared out of nowhere and told me to go home.”
“Why?”
“Because it was his way of punishing me. He knew how much it meant to her, and to me to see her so happy.”
“Did you leave?”
“Sort of. I walked away, but I hid around some lady with a big hat, and watched Rowan finally make it to her turn. Paxton took her picture with Mrs. Kerr, and her treasures.”
“You’re an adult, Gabby. You shouldn’t be punished, especially with your kids,” Lane said with a determined voice.
“It’s fine. I’m okay.”
“It’s not fine, Gabby. Never mind, let’s keep going. What happened next?”
“I went home, nothing really. I mean he spanked me, but he does that even if he doesn’t have a reason.”
“No, not that. Let’s move on to Tatiana. You said you were listening outside.”
“Oh, yeah. They were fighting. Tatiana accused him of being selfish, because he wanted her to move there, and Paxton retaliated.
“His voice raised and then he told her that the house was gutted because he wanted her to have a nice home. He told her he didn’t want her running all over the country with his daughter anymore. Then he got mad when she told him she had left her with a friend the last time. Four days. Paxton was pissed, but Tatiana gave it right back to him.
“Her sun-colored hair flipped to her back, and her red painted lips pursed. She yelled louder, telling him she never wanted any of that, and that was his dream, not hers. She told him she never wanted to move to Florida, and complained about all her friends being in Texas.
“Paxton calmed down and begged her to come there, calling it home. He even mentioned your name, reminding her that she liked Candace, and Tricia. It didn’t matter though, Tatiana already had other plans.
“It took her a few minutes to reply, but she did. She finally told him the truth.”
“What was the truth, Gabby?”
“She made it. She was a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader, and she wasn’t about to move there and give it all up. She once again told him that the house and Florida was his dream, not hers. She wasn’t ready for that role yet.
“Paxton tried to tell her that was all going to go away, that she had a couple years if she was lucky, and it would be too late. When that didn’t sway her, he used Rowan, telling her she would never see her again if she left. She struck back by telling him he wanted that, too. Like she didn’t even care about the poor little baby.
“Paxton and Tatiana talked for over two hours and I sat on the cold concrete and listened to every word. By the time they were done, Tatiana confessed to being in love with someone else, and she never had any intentions of coming there with him. They fought some more, Paxton raised his voice, called her names, and begged her not to tear their family apart. Tatiana reminded him again of her dream. Paxton wasn’t part of that dream, and neither was their baby. She just left her. Just like that, until the one time she showed up. That was it.”
The audio stopped just like that, and the black screen disappeared, leaving a photo of Rowan and Phi with Mickey Mouse ears in its place. I hadn’t even realized Paxton had moved to my side until that moment. We were face to face propped on elbows, and my hand rested in his.