“As soon as my shift ends I’m there.”

She said good-bye and turned to Colin. “I need to go. I know he’s old enough to be home alone, but I don’t feel right being here and doing what we’ve been doing and just leaving him on his own. You know?”

He nodded. “I get it.”

She pulled on her tank top, wishing she could have finished what she’d started to say. But maybe this was the universe’s way of slowing her down. Elle had been prone to rash decisions before. Perhaps, she needed to meditate more thoughtfully on what to say. Or maybe what she really needed to do was talk to her son. She’d been protecting him, keeping him safe from the kind of hell he’d witnessed with his father. Rather than tell Colin she wanted to try with him, she should tell her son what Colin meant to her.

Then perhaps the three of them could hang out after the match.

“Hey,” she said softly. “Would you like to come to the match, too? My mom will be there. Alex usually goes. It would be fun to have you there, too.”

“Ryan comes back the night before. So he’ll probably swing by and get Johnny Cash, and once he does I can come see you. Are you going to be wearing those super hot socks that go to here?” he asked, tapping her above the knee.

She laughed and nodded. “I will.”

He adopted an intensely serious face. “So when I come up and say hi, I need to act like I don’t have fantasies of fucking you while you’re wearing nothing but those socks?”

A sweet rush of heat spread down her spine. “Yes. Pretend you’re not thinking that.”

“And that I’m not thinking how you’d look in them with these beautiful legs wrapped around my neck, Skater Girl?”

Oh dear lord. A gentle pulse beat between her legs, as she shouldered her purse. “Yes. That. Pretend you’re not thinking that when I see you.”

“I’ll just pretend I’m one of your loyal volunteers at the center come out to support you.”

She leaned in and kissed him. “Pretend for now. Maybe not much longer,” she whispered, then turned on her heels to go.

That was all she could manage for the moment. She had so much more to say. She felt so much more in her heart.

* * *

Holy shit. Kevin was right. Be honest. He’d told the woman he cared for her, and the result was better than he could have imagined.

Fine, fine. No commitments were made. No promises were exchanged. But they were breaking down walls. As he kissed her good night, he was more determined than ever to be the best man he could be.

For her. For her kid. For himself.

He wouldn’t let anything get in the way.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Her heels clicked on the concrete steps as she walked two flights to her apartment. She slid the key into the latch, but there was no give. The door slipped open.

Alex appeared, a gotcha look in his brown eyes. He pointed at her. “The New Deal was a series of domestic programs started by President Franklin Roosevelt to help the United States recover from the Great Depression. Boom,” he said, raising his arm in triumph. “Now, where were you tonight?”

Heat spread across her cheeks. She’d only said she was going out when she’d left earlier. She hadn’t uttered the word date, and she certainly hadn’t said with who. But her attire said it all.

“Out,” she said sheepishly, slipping past him. He shut the door behind her, letting it close with a loud bang.

“Out. Is that his name? You were out with Out?”

She laughed as she headed to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She took a long gulp then figured now was as good a time as any. Speaking the truth—at least the start of it—to Colin had been such a refreshing change from holding back. Perhaps telling her son would have a similar effect. Besides, it was the right way to handle this blossoming relationship.

She walked around to the stools at the counter and patted one. “Sit.”

“Uh-oh,” he said as he plopped down. “Am I in trouble?”

“No.” She took the other stool and crossed her legs. Nerves beat a path through her chest, but she glanced down at her tattoo. Be strong. “Alex, I made a promise when your father died that I would never put us in that situation again.”

He furrowed his brow. “What situation?”

“Me being involved with someone who’s addicted.”

“Is this the part where you tell me you met a hot meth head and you have bags of kitty litter in your car?”

She laughed softly and shook her head. “No. But major points for a good joke. Though you do know there is no such thing as a hot meth head, right?”

“Yeah. I know. Meth heads are nasty.”

She crinkled her nose. “So gross,” she said, then returned to the topic. “I’ve been seeing someone—”

“You’re dating a junkie?”

“God, no.”

“You said ‘being involved with someone addicted.’”

She nodded. “Right. I know. Because that’s the promise I made to you, and to myself, and to us. Our family. To not get involved with an addict. But, I want you to know I’ve been seeing someone who’s a recovering addict.”

“Oh,” he said, his voice flat. She didn’t know if that meant he didn’t care or he was disappointed.

“And I think he’s a really good guy,” she added.

He arched a skeptical eyebrow. “Like my dad was a good guy?”

“No. Good guy like the real deal.”

“Okay,” he said, his tone light and easy now. “So what’s the issue?”

“I want to know how you feel about that. He’s been in recovery for eight years. He’s a good, solid, strong man who hasn’t relapsed.”

He shot her a look as if she was nuts. “I don’t get it, Mom. What’s the problem? He sounds cool.”

“He is cool. You know him.”

She could see the gears turning in his head. They clicked, and he wagged his finger at her. “No way! You’re dating Colin.”

She couldn’t help but grin. “How did you guess it was him?”

“Duh.”

She jutted out her chin. “Duh, what?”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t guess him,” he said, laughing at her, clutching his belly and guffawing. Her son was actually guffawing.

She straightened her spine. “I’m sorry, but did you have radar installed?”

He stared at the ceiling as if he were deep in thought. “Hmm. Let’s see. Could it be the way you flirt with him at the center?”

“I don’t flirt with him.”

“Could it be the fact that he sent me a history app?”

“Oh, excuse me. Did it say ‘I like your mom’ on it?”

“No. But get real. What guy does that?” he scoffed.

“A nice guy,” she said insistently.

“Exactly. That’s my point. He’s a good guy. He volunteers. He helps Rex for free. And I’ve seen the goofy look you get when you’re texting.”

She was so busted. “Would you prefer that I don’t go out with him?” she asked gently, giving him the out that she felt she needed to. Alex was her top priority, and even though she prayed he’d say no, she’d have to honor his wishes if he said yes.

“No,” he said with a laugh. “It’s fine.”

“Do you mind if he comes to the match, and maybe we can all hang out and get a coffee or Coke or something?” she asked, with a cocktail of nerves and hope that she hadn’t felt since she herself was a teen asking out a boy. Such a strange feeling, to want her son’s approval so badly.

He shrugged happily. “Sure.”

“Does it bother you that he’s a recovered addict?”

He shook his head. “Mom, he’s not a thing like Dad. We’re cool.” His phone rattled, and he grabbed it. “Oh man, James just got a new cheat code.”

That was that. He’d moved on. She’d clung to fears of what their life might be like if she ventured down this path, but Alex was resilient. He’d taken his punches and gotten back up.

She was the one who’d been living in fear. He’d been living his life.