I sob, “No,” into the dirt. And I cry Mav’s name. Before it leaves my mouth, Warner buries himself inside me.

I break and break and break. Everything I am shatters to dust. I close my eyes and stop fighting.

Why did I ever dare hope my life could be more than pain and misery and disappointment?

With each thrust, he grunts from the force of it, and my vision grows darker. I give in and let it take hold of me.

Embracing your dark side can set you free.

EMBER

This time when I wake, it’s because fluid is going down my nose and into my mouth. Sputtering I roll to my side, crying out as I do.

Warner stands over me. When the last drop of water leaves the bottle he poured over my face, he throws it into the dirt.

“Get up,” he snaps.

Still coughing, I groan, “No. Leave me here.”

Snagging my arm, he pulls me up, and sets me on my feet, and then shimmies the boxers back up and over my hips. “Don’t. Don’t piss me off again. Damn it, Em, it didn’t need to be this way. Just stop saying things you know will set me off. God, baby. Do you know what it does to me to hear you say someone else touched you? Makes me insane. I realize now it wasn’t true. That you were just trying to get back at me for what I did to you before. But we need to let that go. We’re going to start over. And I’m not going to hurt you anymore. Okay? Let’s forget about the past, start over as new people in a new place and it will be like when we first met.”

I’m staring at sagebrush, and thinking about how warm and soft the ground would be if it became my new home. If he left me, how long would it take before I died of dehydration? Or would the animals do me in first? I’d prefer a fast death over a slow one.

“Em?”

“I want to stay.”

He turns in a circle. “Um, Em, we can’t stay here. We’re—”

“No. Not you and me. Just me. You go. Go . . .” Find someone new to break. No, I don’t really want that.

He cups his hand over my forehead. “Jesus, baby, you’re burning up.” He leaves me to get another bottle of water, a shirt, and the towel. He wets the shirt, grabs my unresponsive hand, and tries to make me hold it to my forehead.

My hand flops back to my side and the shirt lands in the dirt.

His chest expands with heavy breaths and he fists clench, but then after a minute, he grabs my hand and pours water over my arms. He begins to wash me, though I’m nothing but a lifeless doll.

I can sense his tension, his darkness mounting though.

So I know exactly what’s coming when he snags my arm roughly and drags me on unsteady feet to the back of the SUV. “Somehow I knew it was going to be this way.” He stands me four feet away from the rear, and then leaves me there while he lifts the back hatch.

Everything changes. My heart seems to still. My hand covers my mouth. A half-sob half-shriek rings in my ears. Only after it ceases, I realize it came from me. I lunge forward. But Warner stops me from touching her.

Sundown is curled up, her legs bent. Her hands are tied in front of her with a rope and her face is black and blue. Her mass of black silky hair is soaked with sweat, lies in tangles around her. Her right eye is swollen shut. She has dried blood under her nose and her chest isn’t moving. Her usually mocha skin is pale and the sight of it makes my heart stutter and still.

“Sunny.” I stretch my arms out and scream again, “Sunny!”

It’s not until he lets me get closer, that I see Will lying behind her. Also not moving. I just see the side of her small body, and her mess of dark curls.

“Oh . . . God . . . Will . . .” A giant guttural sob tears from my throat. “Will, baby. Wake up!”

He finally lets me go and I reach over Sunny and shake Will. At first, she doesn’t move and when I palm her chest, I don’t feel it rise or fall. But then it does, it expands and draws in a breath.

“Willow!” I shake her harder. She moves, and her hand comes up to rub her eye. Then she turns. Her voice is sleepy when she breathes my name. The second time she screams it. “Em!” I sob harder as she climbs over Sunny and jumps into my arms. It’s at that moment that Sunny moans.

The end of a gun presses into the back of my head, and Will’s body, which is now wrapped around me, freezes.

“How could you?” A river of tears stream uncontrollably down my face.

“I didn’t know if I’d need incentive to get you to come quietly. And Davis wasn’t sure he could get you out of there. I was going to have your sister call you to draw you out, if that’s what it took.”

I spit out, “You’re a monster. How could you ever think I could love you? You make me sick.”

He growls, “Do you want them to get hurt? Do you want me to kill them? Is that what it’s going to take to make you come back to me and behave?” He digs the barrel of the gun into my scalp.

I meet Sunny’s one open eye. The same color of blue as my mothers.

This time my voice comes out as a pain-filled whisper, “No. No. I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt them anymore.” Sunny slowly rises and I mouth take her. It’s awkward because her hands are tied, but she sits up and grabs for Will. I move forward and push Will fully into her arms.

Will clings to me though.

“Will, I need you to go to your mom.”

“NO!” she cries. “You’re my mom. You’re my mom, Em. Don’t leave me. Please.”

I silently lose it and am racked with the sob I’m trying to hold in. Tremors of fear race through me. A shadow crosses over Sunny’s damaged face, but she tries hard and struggles for Will to come to her.

“Will, go to Sunny. I have to go with Warner. Sunny’ll keep you safe.”

“No! He’ll hurt you like he hurt her.” And like the little fighter she is, she latches on to my neck and claws to stay in my arms.

Warner points the gun at my temple. “Let her go, Will, or I’ll kill her.”

With those words, Will shrinks away from me and starts crying hysterically.

I reach up, grab the lip of the trunk, and slowly shut it, sealing them away from me, and more importantly away from Warner.

Afterward, I wipe my tears though I don’t know why, since new ones fall and replace them. The pain I didn’t feel a minute ago returns. Using the SUV to help steady me, I turn to face him. Wincing and breathing harshly, I put my hand over my side and feel blood ooze through my fingers from how drenched my shirt is.

He points the gun at my chest, over my heart. His eyes are crazed. His face a mask of rage, and his body practically vibrates with fury. “I didn’t want it to be this way. It doesn’t have to be. Come away with me, be the girl you used to be, and I’ll let them go.”

I just stare at him, and I think he feels all of the hate circling in my heart for him, because he keeps talking.

“I didn’t want to hurt your sister, baby. But she wouldn’t listen.” Guilt flashes over his face and his eyes dart behind me. There’s shame and something darker in that look. A rush of air whooshes out of my lungs. Bile unfurls up my throat.

“No.” I smack his face. “NO!” I smack him again and then swing my fists wilding at any part of him I can hit. He tries and fails to stop my assault. “Tell me you didn’t touch her!”

In the background, I hear what sounds like a helicopter, but I’m too focused on the look covering his face. He won’t even meet my eyes now. And I know that he did to Sunny what he’s done to me.

He fucking raped my sister.

I hiss and mean each word. “You’re disgusting. Fucking sick! You should be locked away. Or better yet, turn that gun on yourself. You don’t deserve the air you breathe.”

The answering backhand across my face sends me to my knees. I hear Will and Sundown screaming inside the SUV. I hear the helicopter getting closer. I hear the pounding of my heartbeat thumping in my ears, and then a kick to my side cuts out all sound, except that of my cries of pain. The agony steals my breath and my vision goes black then white and then black again.