Jeez. Doesn’t it realize I’m trying to be dramatic?
It finally goes through and to my surprise I get a reply back almost instantly, this time with text.
Re: you are EVIL!!!!
You there? Open chat if you are.
XOXO
A
Smiling, I take a sip of the soda Maisie slides in front of me. I thank her and she grins at me and then turns and does her little pregnant-waddle back to the counter. It’s the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Ash on zero coffee, so . . .
I open the email’s chat program and click on Autumn’s name. But before I can type anything in the little message bar, a line of text pops up.
AUTUMN: muahhahahahaha!!!!!
STAR: I maintain. You are EVILLLL
STAR: Why the hell did you give me condoms?!?!!!
STAR: Ash was standing right there when I opened the box. He almost saw them!!!
AUTUMN: Good.
STAR: ?????
AUTUMN: Then maybe he would have gotten the hint.
STAR: No idea what you’re talking about. Crazy person.
Lies. All lies. Of course I know what she is talking about. But just thinking about it makes me want to hide my blush behind my soda cup. It burns to know that I was being so freaking obvious about it.
Of course, maybe I am reading into this completely wrong. Maybe Autumn sent me condoms for some other reason . . . that I just can not think of at the moment.
Another message pops up on my screen.
AUTUMN: I’m talking about the fact that you want to climb that man like a tree.
Okay. So not another reason.
It was a long shot, anyway.
STAR: Look, thanks and all, but just drop it, ok?
AUTUMN: But whyyyyy?
I grin despite myself. I can practically hear her dramatic whine from here, two states away. And it is ridiculous. When I first met her, she’d been the quietest person ever. It had taken me weeks to get her to talk to me like a normal person. But somewhere in the bonding process, we’d kind of lost filters with each other.
Which was good. Autumn had needed to be cracked out of her shell. College had been good for her. Just like she’d been good for me. Whether I liked to admit it or not, Brick’s disappearance had left a gaping hole in my life. I’d lost my closest friend and my first boyfriend in one fell swoop, and even though he’d always told me how strong I was because of the walls I’d built up around myself, his leaving nearly shattered me. By the time I’d gotten to Climbfield, all I’d needed was a friend.
What I got in Autumn was a sister.
AUTUMN: I need to get my kicks somehow.
AUTUMN: I’m going to end up a virgin for the rest of my life, and it’s not like Roth is the sharing type.
AUTUMN: I have to live through you.
AUTUMN: LET ME LIVE THROUGH YOU.
STAR: Sorry. No can do.
STAR: It’s a dead end. I’m not going to start something with Ash.
AUTUMN: Why not?
STAR: 1. I don’t know if he likes me back.
STAR: 2. We live a million miles away from each other. It wouldn’t work.
All very good reasons, I tell myself as I take another sip of my soda. I should know. I’ve been repeating them to myself over and over for the past few weeks.
AUTUMN: And 3?
STAR: 3?
AUTUMN: You know, reason #3 as to why you’re not making goo-goo eyes at Ash.
AUTUMN: Which, btw, you totally ARE.
I sigh.
STAR: No 3. What? 1&2 not good enough for you?
There is a pause that goes on long enough that I am starting to wonder if the Wi-Fi has crapped out on me again, but then another message pops up.
AUTUMN: Sorry, Roth was talking to me.
AUTUMN: But seriously.
AUTUMN: 1. He definitely likes you back. Don’t be redonkulous.
AUTUMN: 2. There are these things called phones. And cars. And planes. And the interwebs.
AUTUMN: 3. (because I have a #3 and you DON’T!) I’ve never seen you like this with a guy.
AUTUMN: Take a chance.
I sit there, wondering what I should say to that when the bell over the diner’s front door dings, and the door swings open to reveal Ash.
Shit.
I resist the urge to slam my laptop shut. Barely. I only manage because I know it would be super obvious that I was talking about him if I did.
I type.
STAR: Ash is here.
STAR: Gotta go.
AUTUMN: Give him a kiss for me :D
AUTUMN: AND for Roth.
AUTUMN: Roth totally wants you to kiss him for him. He said so.
AUTUMN: Yes you did, Roth. Don’t lie.
I key-smash out something that looks kinda like talk to you later and log out of the program just in time to see Ash slide into the booth across from me. “Heeeey,” I say, and instantly try to suppress my wince at just how awkward that came out. “I thought you were staying at the house tonight.” He gives me a crooked little smile.
“Yeah. Changed my mind right after you left so I hoofed it over. Decided I wasn’t going to let them chase me away quite yet. How about you? Everything good with your friends?” he asks, just as Maisie waddles over to drop a glass of water on the table for him. He looks up at her and smiles, and says thanks and she gives him a hesitant half-smile back before turning away. Then, just as suddenly, she stops and turns back.
“Listen,” she says, reaching up and pushing her dark-rimmed glasses further up her nose. “I . . . I’m sorry about your car.” Ash just kind of blinks at her for a moment, looking like his jaw is about to drop open in surprise, and when she is greeted with nothing but silence, she whips back around and hustles away.
We both watch as she goes, and Ash turns to me and shrugs. “Well,” he says, “it’s progress, I guess.” He’s trying to laugh it off. But I can see the sadness in his eyes. Maisie might be an exception, but the rule where the people around here just don’t trust him is still in effect. They don’t know him and the prevailing opinion seems to be that they don’t want to know him.
Which sucks. Ash is amazing.
And nice.
And really good looking.
And shit. Autumn was right. I do want to climb him like a tree.
Crap.
I’m lucky he didn’t see the condoms. Really lucky. I probably looked like a crazy person, slamming the flaps of the box closed like I did, and squirreling the box away in my room before he could take a peek, but I didn’t have any other option. What Ash and I have, it is good. I’m not going to ruin it by letting my stupid feelings show.
No matter how strong they are starting to get.