Sitting across from Viv in this nasty, fluorescent-lit room of illness and misery was reaching me deeper than sitting across from her a fancy restaurant had. Here, I was getting a look at who she really was.

She was good. Kind. She cared about people. And as much as I admired her, tonight was a reminder that she and I were too different.

Night and day.

Dark and light.

Good and bad.

My darkness would dim her light if I got too close. Maybe that was part of the attraction. Maybe a person as shitty as me took perverse pleasure in corrupting beauty.

The closer I got to Viv, the closer I wanted to get. It was never enough, and it wouldn’t be until I’d crushed her. I wasn’t setting out to break her, but that was what I inevitably did.

She looked up at me again, her ocean blue eyes sparkling as she gave me a small smile. I smiled back. Couldn’t help it. With her, I’d never be able to help myself. I’d have to fight what I wanted and for once in my life, do the right thing.

Viv

More than two hours later, Alan gave us both a gruff thank you as he was being wheeled into an exam room. I led the way outside the Emergency Room doors and took in a deep breath of fresher than inside the ER air. Then I looked over at Kane with an apology in my eyes.

“We missed dinner,” I said.

He nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Maybe we can get some pizza after all?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

He texted Len, holding my hand as we waited for him to arrive.

“I should’ve called Len to bring us here,” he said.

“I didn’t mean for you to pay for the cab ride. I was planning to get that.”

Kane shook his head. “Not because of that. I just wasn’t thinking. I don’t want you to think I’m too shitty to take a homeless person somewhere in the club car. I mean, I never have, but . . . I would.”

“I know that.”

He exhaled deeply, the cloud in front of his mouth dissipating. “I don’t know. I think I would. I guess I’m not the kind of person who’d take anyone somewhere for nothing.” He looked down at me and squeezed my hand. “I’m not like you. Not good.”

“Sure you are. Goodness takes many forms.”

He looked ready to continue arguing when the Town Car pulled into view, ending our conversation.

Thirty minutes later, we were tucked into a corner booth at a small family-owned pizza joint, waiting for our Supreme with extra cheese to arrive.

“What’s your first name?” I asked.

He paused for a second before answering. “Matthew.”

“No one calls you that, though.”

He shook his head. “My mom and grandma used to, but that’s about it.”

“Do you have family nearby?”

His gaze left mine, flickering down to the table. “My dad took off when I was a kid. Haven’t seen him since. Mom died from cancer when I was twenty-six.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged a shoulder but said nothing.

“Any brothers and sisters?”

“None I know of. But given my dad’s nature, I wouldn’t be surprised if he left other women high and dry with kids like he did my mom.”

His dark eyes were steely now, his voice edged with bitterness. This was a bad subject.

“How many tattoos do you have?” I asked, reaching for another piece of bread.

A smile touched his lips as he considered. “Five.”

“Is there a story behind all of them?”

“Well, yeah. I’ll tell you the stories when you see ‘em.” His grin held interest and mischief. Seeing this side of him made my stomach flutter nervously.

“Where are the ones I can’t see?”

“My back and chest. One on my lower hip.”

I sucked in a breath as I thought about him unfastening his worn jeans and lowering them enough for me to see that hip tattoo. And more.

“So the one I can see . . .” I pointed at his arm, which had ink swirling from beneath the sleeve of his black t-shirt down to his elbow. “Tell me about that one.”

His cheeks darkened slightly and he smiled. “That one’s nothin’ to be proud of. I was in my early twenties and was wasted one night. A couple of my buddies and I went into a place and told the guy we wanted some ink. I passed out not long after he started.”

I couldn’t help the single note of laughter that escaped my lips. “Did you remember it the next day?”

“Vaguely. I have no memory of picking the design out. I think the guy at the shop had my back on that, ‘cause it could’ve gone really fuckin’ bad.”

I held his gaze for a few seconds as a warm, heady sensation washed over me. When I was with Kane, I felt a kind of magic I’d never experienced. Seeing his lighter, almost playful side made me feel special to him. And I couldn’t get enough of that feeling.

“Are you coming in tonight? Back at my place?” I asked hopefully.

He smiled. “You want me to?”

“Yes.”

Our server approached and set down a huge round metal pan of pizza between us. Our eyes stayed locked on each other until she was gone.

“We could always eat this in the car on the way,” he said.

“I like that idea.”

He gestured to our server.

“Everything okay?” she asked, her brow furrowed as she surveyed the uneaten pizza.

“It’s great,” Kane said, his eyes still on mine. “Just a carryout box and our check, please.”

The box of pizza sat unopened on the seat between us as Len drove us back to my place. I felt its warmth beneath my hand as Kane traced my knuckles with his large fingertips.

He grunted a quick goodbye to Len as we got out of the car at my place.

“Goodnight, Len,” I said. He smiled and offered me a thumbs up.

We’d barely gotten through the door when I dropped my purse on a table and turned to Kane. He set the pizza box next to my purse and reached out toward my cheek, cupping it in his palm.

When he bent his face to mine and kissed me softly, I wrapped my arms around his neck, melting against his solid chest. His fingertips edged up the bottom of my shirt, skimming across my bare skin. I inhaled sharply and eased him toward the couch.

He got the message, bending and picking me up effortlessly. His big palms squeezed my bottom as he carried me to the couch and set me down. I laid back, moaning softly as he leaned over me and then covered my body with his, his lips returning to mine for a deeper, more insistent kiss.

“Viv,” he said in a low tone against my mouth. “You make it really fucking hard to be a gentleman.”

I arched my back and wrapped a leg around his hip, humming a moan against his lips. “You were a gentleman last time. That’s good enough.”

He buried his face in my neck, the soft scruff of his beard brushing over my skin sending a shiver through me. It never seemed to stop; the touch of his lips and tongue to my neck sent fresh shivers down my spine. There was another one when he squeezed my ass and I felt his thick erection pressing against my core.

I pulled his shirt loose from his pants in the back and slid my palm beneath it, needing to feel his warm skin and taut muscles. He stiffened and pulled back, looking down at me with a mix of arousal and confusion.

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?”

He ran a hand over his short black hair and sat on the edge of the couch, shoulders slumped.

Still breathing hard, I put my fingertips on my lips, feeling the tingle of his rough kiss and the smooth scratch of his beard. Silence hung thick in the air until finally, he spoke.

“You don’t want me, Viv. I’m not a good guy.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “I do, though. I thought we both wanted it.”

He turned his dark gaze on me. “Hell yeah I want it. What man doesn’t want to make a good girl be bad?”

“So, then?”

Shaking his head, he turned away. “It’s not right. You’re a good person, Viv. You’re the kind of person who helps people up when they’re down. I’m the guy who kicks ‘em in the first place.”